Tag Archives: bud

Budweiser

Budweiser is a beer. It’s the only beer for a lot of people. Brand loyalty goes a long way and I know a lot of people that prefer Budweiser over water. My feelings on Budweiser are mixed. It’s too popular, it’s too bland, and it’s too pretentious. They call themselves the king of beers. They’ve even temporarily relabeled themselves as America instead of Budweiser as part of some bizarre marketing ploy. They proudly admit to being made partially from rice. Rice is nice but most beer lovers prefer hops and barley.

Budweiser is drinkable though. I have to give them that. It has a consistently crisp and refreshing taste. It doesn’t really get skunky. It’s my preferred tall boy for beach days because it’s cheap, it’s not too heavy, and it comes in twenty-five ounce cans. Most tall boys are twenty-four ounces. That extra ounce means you’re getting more bang for your buck.

I prefer to drink craft beer when I’m at a bar or at home. I like IPAs and sours and the occasional stout if the weather is cold. Whenever I buy a six pack of something nice I’ll still pick up a tall boy of Budweiser as well. I drink the good beer until I’m nice and toasty and then I’ll switch over to Bud when I’m drunk. That way I won’t waste my good beer when I’m too fucked up to enjoy it. That’s not alcoholism, that’s using my noodle. Budweiser is not the best beer. I wouldn’t even call it a good beer. But it’s beer and that’s enough reason for me to drink it.

Critically Rated at 11/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Stems

I don’t want to alarm anybody, but I smoke weed. In fact, I’m pretty good at it. I always some bud available at the house. Hit me up if you want to blaze. Anyway, one byproduct of smoking marijuana is that you’re left with an abundance of stems. The stems are the leftover traces of weed once you trim the leaves and smoke the bud. Stems are like sticks or branches. In fact, it smells and tastes like wood smoke when you burn it. It’s not an enjoyable smoke. A lot of people simply throw the stems away, but you can use them in a variety of ways. You can chew on them. It won’t get you very high but you get some of that delicious weed flavor. You can steep them in hot water and make a nice herbal tea. You can use them to make a balm for small cuts or bug bites. You can scrape the THC crystals off of them and make kief. It takes quite a few stems to make something worthwhile, but it’s better than throwing them away. Don’t be wasteful. Be resourceful.

Critically Rated at 10/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

marijuana-stems

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The Last Nugget

You always have to monitor your stash to avoid being caught off guard and discovering that you only have one more nugget left in your jar. The last nugget is a scary time for a stoner. It means that you’re almost out of weed. You have to start conserving, trying to make sure that you have enough to last until you get a chance to get more. You need to start thinking about how your work schedule looks and which dealers will be available or which dispensary will be open when you finally get time to re-up. If you’re smart, you will save the biggest bud for last for this very occasion. A bigger last nugget buys you more time. But you still have to get up off your ass and get more eventually. And that’s the hardest part.

Critically Rated at 6/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filed under 420

The Wrong Earbud

Lots of people have iPhones and iPods because Apple has taken over the world. So you see lots of people rocking those iconic white headphones. You might have noticed that they have an L and an R on each ear bud so you know which ear to stick them in. The L bud goes in your left ear. The R bud goes in your right ear. It’s a pretty simple concept but some people don’t get it. Maybe they don’t want to conform (but then they wouldn’t have an iPhone). Maybe they are just really lazy or super ignorant. They look pretty retarded either way. And it’s pathetic not being able to listen to music right.  Apple products are expensive and trendy so you want to show them off. Wearing your headphones wrong is like buying a designer shirt and wearing it inside out. You’re telling everyone that you can afford it but don’t deserve it. I might not ever learn your name but I already know that I despise you.

Critically Rated at 6/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Bud Light Lime

A typical American swill lager with a twist – a lime twist. My guess is that the trolls at Anheuser-Busch finally realized that Bud Light has no flavor. They decided that they would add lime, and so they did. It’s not a bad idea. It actually makes it taste less like water. I hope that Corona takes note and copies them. Bud Light still sucks though.

Critically Rated at 9/17

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