February 16, 2014 · 12:04 pm

Board Meeting (beer)

Board Meeting is an American Brown Ale from Port Brewing Company in San Marcos, California. It’s a Malt Beverage With Coffee And Cocoa Nibs. If there’s one thing that every beer needs more of, it’s cocoa nibs. And this beer has cocoa nibs. It’s very dark for a brown ale, it’s pours almost like a porter. It has a great aroma of roasted coffee, chocolate, and toasted malts. It tastes like you would expect. It’s malty with chocolate and coffee flavors, and there’s a little hazelnut and caramel, maybe some vanilla. It’s delicious and has a much better flavor profile than a Newcastle. It’s 8.5% so I would suggest drinking it after work and not before work.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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February 15, 2014 · 9:55 am

Virgil’s Black Cherry Cream Soda

When it comes to sodas, colas are king. But there are lots of different flavors and varieties of pop, and black cherry cream soda is one of them. It’s a pretty neglected flavor. You won’t find too many people asking for a black cherry cream soda when they order at a restaurant. I was lucky enough to spot this soda at my corner store, so I bought a few bottles. It was too intriguing not to. Virgil’s Black Cherry Cream Soda is a classic cream soda recipe made with naturally using the finest cherry flavor, vanilla beans and unrefined sugar cane. We searched the world for the perfect black cherry cream taste. We hope you will find this to be the best black cherry cream soda you have ever tasted. Well Virgil, you should be pleased to know that I agree with you, this is the best black cherry cream soda that I’ve ever tasted. Let me just take another sip to confirm that. Here we go. Mmmmm. Mmmmm mmmmmm mmmmm. Yup. Without a doubt, this is the best black cherry cream soda that I’ve ever tasted. Good job, Virgil.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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February 15, 2014 · 9:52 am

Spell Check

Spell check is a program that checks your spelling. It’s both a blessing and a curse. It’s a blessing because you can use it to find mistakes and correct them. It’s a curse because it makes people dumber. Why would anybody learn the correct way to spell a word if they don’t have to? People are lazy and spell check is proof of that. I’m not going to lie, I use spell check all the time. But I also know the difference between there, their, and they’re. I use spell check as a tool, not as a crutch. I don’t need spell check, but some people rely on it. You still need to have a grasp of the English language in order to use spell check effectively.  Spell check isn’t perfect. It makes mistakes all the time, especially with its and it’s. You need to check what the spell check is checking to see if everything checks out.

Critically Rated at 8/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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February 14, 2014 · 10:20 am

Tablets

The iPad was first released on April 3, 2010 and the world hasn’t been the same since. Tablets have taken over. Most people are casual computer users. They just want to surf the net, play movies and music, take pictures, check Facebook, and play games. They don’t need a desktop computer or a laptop to do that anymore. They just need a decent tablet to stay connected and entertained. One of the reasons why tablets are so popular is because they are super portable. They are lightweight, they don’t take up much space, and you can take them anywhere. Laptops are more powerful, but they are also more of a hassle to lug around and the battery life isn’t as good. Plus it’s a lot easier and more comfortable to read an article or an eBook on a tablet than it is to read on a laptop.

Tablets are the future. You feel as if you’re in a sci-fi movie when you’re using them. It’s cool to have the entire internet right  in your hands, presented in bright colors and pretty pictures that you can swipe and swivel and interact with. When you FaceTime or Skype with someone, it’s like they are in the room with you. Tablets aren’t going anywhere, they are here to stay. I’ve noticed a trend: tablets keep getting smaller and smartphones keep getting larger. In a few years your iPad will fit in your pocket and you’ll need a backpack for your iPhone. You can’t stop progress.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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February 14, 2014 · 12:51 am

Valentine’s Day

February 14th is Valentine’s Day for people in happy relationships and Singles Awareness Day for everyone else. If you’re single and feeling lonely, I highly recommend avoiding Facebook for the day. You’ll find out that yet another ex is getting engaged while you cry alone on the couch, using your own tears as lubricant. Valentine’s Day is a Hallmark holiday, created by greeting card/candy companies to get consumers to consume more. At least that’s what I keep telling myself. No matter what I say, it still feels good to get a card from someone (even if it’s from my mom). I’m single. It’s not Valentine’s Day for me, but it’s still a holiday because Spring Training starts today. God, I love baseball. Valentine’s Day sucks though.

Critically Rated at 9/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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February 13, 2014 · 12:35 pm

First in Line

Waiting in line sucks, but there’s something awesome about being first in line. Everybody who lines up is eagerly anticipating something and the first one in line gets to experience it before everyone else. And that makes you better than them. They are jealous of you and you love it. You feel like you’re in charge, like you’re the king. It’s a very empowering feeling. You might gloat a little and nobody will blame you. Being the first in line brings certain responsibilities. You’re the representative for all the other consumers in line with you. You’re the one who tells the passers-by what the line is for. You’re the one that talks to the media. You’re the one to lead the charge when they finally open the doors. You’re the first in line. That’s something to be proud of. You earned this shit. There can be only one.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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February 13, 2014 · 12:31 pm

Pliny the Younger (beer)

Pliny the Younger is a triple IPA brewed by the Russian River Brewing Company and it’s only available for two weeks every February. It’s not just a beer, it’s an event. People line up for hours for the chance to get a six-ounce glass of this liquid gold. It’s been consistently voted as one of the best beers in America and for good reason. It’s a perfectly balanced beer, hoppy and bitter with a good amount of hops. It has a spicy citrus scent that carries over into the flavor. I taste spice, honey, citrus, and piney hops. It’s also 11% alcohol, so your head will start to buzz pleasantly. There’s a lot of hype behind this beer so it’s easy to be unsatisfied. You won’t like it if you’re not a fan of IPAs. But everyone should try this beer just to say that you’ve tried it. You can’t say that you’re a beer aficionado if you haven’t had Pliny the Younger. I woke up early for it, I waited in line for hours for it, and I enjoyed every sip of it. I was actually sad when I finished it. Now I have to wait another year to get it again.

Critically Rated at 17/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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February 12, 2014 · 1:14 pm

Seeing Your Breath in the Cold Air

One of my favorite things about cold days is seeing my breath in the air. When I was younger I would pretend like I was smoking a cigarette and I felt like a badass. I’m sure every little kid does that at some point, but I was really good at it and I looked really cool doing it. All the kids in my class agreed that I was the best fake smoker on the playground. I still enjoy seeing my breath in the cold air. It’s life affirming. I know that I’m still breathing, I know that I’m still alive, I know that I’m still here. Seeing your breath in the cold air is one of the great mysteries in life. Scientists still have no idea what causes the phenomenon, but I think it has something to do with protons and neutrons. I don’t know, I really didn’t pay much attention in Biology.

Critically Rated at 6/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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February 12, 2014 · 1:12 pm

Payback Porter

Payback Porter is an American Porter from San Francisco’s Speakeasy Ales & Lagers brewery. It’s a fairly typical porter: it’s very dark brown in appearance, almost black with a mild amount of carbonation. It has a rich malty aroma, with chocolate and coffee undertones. The taste is of roasted malt, chocolate, coffee, smoke, and piney hops. It’s very well rounded and has a pretty decent 7.5% alcohol content. If you’re a fan of porters and stouts than you’ll probably like this brew. If you like Budweiser, I wouldn’t recommend it. This is a beer for beer buffs, not for amateurs. You should try it, especially if you’re lucky enough to find it on tap somewhere.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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February 11, 2014 · 11:58 am

The Sochi Winter Games

I love the Olympics, but the Sochi Winter Games are a joke. First off, the Winter Games pale in comparison to the Summer Games. The Summer Games have all the great events: swimming, gymnastics, track and field, basketball, wrestling, etc. The Winter Games have skiing, snowboarding, and curling. That’s pretty much it. The Winter Games are the neglected younger sibling of the Olympics. We give them a little attention, but nobody really cares. The Sochi Winter Games are a travesty, a cover-up for blatant government corruption. Russia has spent over fifty billion dollars on the games, but there is very little to show for it. Almost everything is incomplete and unfinished, from hotel rooms to event venues. Just ask Shaun White how he feels about the Sochi conditions. The Games have taken a backseat to spectacle of the unfinished construction work. I don’t know which country is winning the medal count, but I know that a bobsledder had to break down a bathroom door and then he got stuck in an elevator. This isn’t the Olympic Games, it’s the Vladimir Putin Show and I want to change the channel.

Critically Rated at 3/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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February 11, 2014 · 11:53 am

Matt’s Burning Rosids

Matt’s Burning Rosids is a Saison/Farmhouse Ale from Stone Brewing Co. It’s called Matt’s Burning Rosids in honor of Matt Courtright, who worked at Stone Brewing who passed away in 2013. This beer is brewed in his memory and uses his recipe. They encourage you to drink it to celebrate life and laughter and good friends. I think I will take them up on that. This is a great craft beer, brewed with cherrywood-smoked malt, which lends it a slightly woody and sweet malty aroma with scents of banana, cloves, and spice. I can taste bitter hops, bananas, cloves, smoke, wood, citrus, pepper, and spice. It has a 10.5% ABV, which is pretty impressive because the beer doesn’t taste boozy. It’s not the best beer I’ve had, but it’s one of the most interesting beers I’ve had. It’s best enjoyed inside on a cold rainy day.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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February 10, 2014 · 12:18 pm

Uneven Drawstrings

I’m wearing a hoodie with uneven drawstrings and it’s driving me crazy. The left side is about an inch higher than the right side, so I will tug on the string to try and even it out, and then the right side will end up being higher than the left side. So then I tug on the right side and then the left side ends up higher than the right side. The more I try to fix it, the worse it gets. I’ve been playing with my drawstrings for about five minutes now and I’m starting to get frustrated. I’ll put on my hood, pull on a drawstring and scrunch up my hood while pulling on the other drawstring to balance it out. But it’s not working. I will get them to be almost even, but they still aren’t satisfactory, so I just keeping pulling and tugging and trying to even them out. Another few minutes of this drawstring purgatory and I will bust out the scissors and snip away my problems. In the meantime I will blog about uneven drawstrings.

Critically Rated at 5/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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February 10, 2014 · 12:16 pm

Based On A True Story

Films are fantasy, not facts. You should be weary of any movie that claims to be based on a true story. It just means that something similar happened in real life once upon a time. Cool Runnings is based on a true story in that there was actually a Jamaican bobsled team, but most of the events in the film are completely fabricated or totally skewed. The Exorcist is supposedly based on a true story, but I haven’t seen anybody capable of twisting their head around 360 degrees or spider-walking downstairs lately. You should watch a fucking documentary if you want to see a film that really is based on a true story, but even then you have to remember that there are two sides to every story and Michael Moore only gives you one. Anything that claims to be based on a true story is a lie, history included. There is no truth in a story, that’s why it’s called a story. It’s made up, it’s a fabrication, it’s a lie.

Critically Rated at 4/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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February 9, 2014 · 1:10 pm

Bike Messengers

Sometimes you need to send a package across the city and FedEx and UPS aren’t fast enough. That’s when you need a bike messenger. A bike messenger is fearless. He or she will take your package/documents/illegal drugs across town during rush hour, weaving in and out of traffic, dodging cars and pedestrians and suddenly opening doors. They fly down hills, they ride on curbs, they yell at taxi drivers blocking the bike lane, and they mockingly bark back at angry dogs. Bike messengers have an exhilarating, fast-paced job that doesn’t pay well or provide a lot of benefits, but it seems to be a lifestyle unto its own. They have their own culture, their own lingo, and they even have their own movie starring Joseph Gordon-Levitt. I haven’t seen Premium Rush, but I’m sure some people have and that most of them are probably bike messengers.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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February 9, 2014 · 1:08 pm

Putting Your Phone In the Wrong Pocket

Most guys have a designated pocket for their cellphones. That way you just need to pat one pocket quickly to make sure you still have your phone. But every once in a while you will put your phone in a different pocket and then you’ll momentarily freak out when you check for your phone and it’s not there. You’ll think that you left it behind somewhere, or maybe someone stole it, or maybe you dropped it without realizing it. And then you do a quick pat down and find it in your sweatshirt pocket. Putting your phone in the wrong pocket makes you feel like a victim and a dumbass at the same time, like you pranked yourself. I hate pranking myself. A self-destructive prank war is never a good thing.

Critically Rated at 6/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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February 8, 2014 · 8:53 am

Anansi Boys (book)

Anansi Boys is a 2005 fantasy novel by Neil Gaiman. It is a sequel of sorts to American Gods, but it’s more of a connection than a continuation. American Gods has a character named Mr. Nancy and Anansi Boys is about Mr. Nancy’s two sons. The main character is Charles Nancy, who given the terrible nickname of Fat Charlie by his father. Fat Charlie grew up resenting his father and has willingly lost contact with him. One day he finds out that his father is dead and that Fat Charlie has a brother. Fat Charlie is shocked to learn that his father was actually a god named Anansi, a spider-like trickster and a storyteller. Fat Charlie also finds out that his long lost brother is also a god named Spider. Fat Charlie and Spider have a mini family reunion, but Spider quickly disrupts Fat Charlie’s life and nothing will ever be the same again.

Fat Charlie makes a shady pact with another god in order to get Spider out of his life once and for all. But that deal backfires and sets the plot in motion. Fat Charlie learns about gods and the family business and the power of stories. I don’t even want to go into any more details than that because this novel takes you places that you didn’t think you were going to. All I can say is that Neil Gaiman has a way of making the fantastic seem completely plausible and that Anansi Boys will blow your mind.

It’s not as good as American Gods. But if you liked American Gods, you’ll still enjoy Anansi Boys. If you’ve never read either, start with Anansi Boys because it will whet your appetite. Every character, every paragraph, every line has a meaning and a purpose. You can’t read a Neil Gaiman book once. You might appreciate it after one reading, but you won’t understand it until you reread it.  You should probably read it at least three times to pick up all the nuances and subtle uses of foreshadowing. This is a great book and another triumph from Neil Gaiman.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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February 8, 2014 · 8:52 am

Skittles Desserts

It’s always a good day when you discover a new type of Skittles. Yesterday I discovered Skittles Desserts and my life is a little bit better now. Skittles Desserts have intriguing flavors like Key Lime Pie, Orange Créme, Raspberry Sorbet, Strawberry Milkshake, and Blueberry Tart. Key Lime Pie tastes kind of limey, but not key lime pie-y. Orange Créme tastes like orange crème. Strawberry Milkshake tastes like strawberries and cream. Raspberry Sorbet is sweet, sour, delicious, and the best flavor in the pack. Blueberry Tart definitely tastes like blueberries. All in all, Skittles Desserts is a pretty solid offering and it will satisfy your sweet tooth. It’s not the best type of Skittles but it’s not the worst. Try them. You might just find that you have a new favorite candy.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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