Tag Archives: pocket

Pockets

Being a man in today’s society has a lot of perks. I’m not trying to be sexist. I’m just stating a fact. We have pockets. Men’s clothing has real, fully functional pockets. That’s a huge advantage. Women’s pockets are mostly decorative, and as a result they are stuck lugging around a large external pocket that they call a purse to carry all the stuff they need day to day. Some might be able to use the butt pocket on their jeans to hold their cellphone if they’re lucky, but the other pockets are pretty much useless. It’s a novelty if they have an article of clothing with a working pocket. They show it off to all their friends, “Look! A pocket!” Meanwhile I have a pocket for my phone, a pocket for my keys, a pocket for my wallet, and I have a lot more pockets to spare. That’s just my pants. If I throw on a jacket, I’ll have even more pockets. Guys have so many pockets that there are multiple industries competing for pocket space. We have pocket knives, pocket watches, handkerchiefs, hell, we can even play pocket pool.  The Battle of the Sexes is finally finished. We have pockets. You don’t. Game over.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Putting Your Phone In the Wrong Pocket

Most guys have a designated pocket for their cellphones. That way you just need to pat one pocket quickly to make sure you still have your phone. But every once in a while you will put your phone in a different pocket and then you’ll momentarily freak out when you check for your phone and it’s not there. You’ll think that you left it behind somewhere, or maybe someone stole it, or maybe you dropped it without realizing it. And then you do a quick pat down and find it in your sweatshirt pocket. Putting your phone in the wrong pocket makes you feel like a victim and a dumbass at the same time, like you pranked yourself. I hate pranking myself. A self-destructive prank war is never a good thing.

Critically Rated at 6/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filed under Random Rants