Tag Archives: story

Four-Story Friend

I have a friend that I can only hang out with once every couple of weeks. He’s a cool guy and he’s fun to hang out with, but he has the nasty habit of telling the same stories over and over again. And he only has four stories. He’s a four-story friend. There’s the time he got really drunk, there’s the time he boned the hottest chick in the world, there’s the time his car broke down on the freeway, and there’s the time he did that thing on vacation. He loves to be the center of attention and will tell his four stories at every opportunity he gets, but he doesn’t seem to realize that we’ve heard all heard them a thousand times before. We know his stories better than he does. What he needs to do is add more stories to his repertoire. He needs to experience new things and transform himself into a five-story friend.

Critically Rated at 10/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

storytelling

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Based On A True Story

Films are fantasy, not facts. You should be weary of any movie that claims to be based on a true story. It just means that something similar happened in real life once upon a time. Cool Runnings is based on a true story in that there was actually a Jamaican bobsled team, but most of the events in the film are completely fabricated or totally skewed. The Exorcist is supposedly based on a true story, but I haven’t seen anybody capable of twisting their head around 360 degrees or spider-walking downstairs lately. You should watch a fucking documentary if you want to see a film that really is based on a true story, but even then you have to remember that there are two sides to every story and Michael Moore only gives you one. Anything that claims to be based on a true story is a lie, history included. There is no truth in a story, that’s why it’s called a story. It’s made up, it’s a fabrication, it’s a lie.

Critically Rated at 4/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Spoilers

You’re looking forward to that new TV episode or blockbuster sequel to your favorite movie, you’re so excited and the anticipation is through the roof… and then you go on Facebook and see half a dozen spoilers and everything is seemingly ruined. Fucking spoilers. The weird thing is that people love spoilers almost as much as they hate them. They want to know that Harrison Ford is in the new Star Wars movie but they don’t want to know what he does. Spoilers are inevitable. As soon as someone sees something they want to talk about it, it doesn’t matter who is listening. The Internet makes it even easier to make people listen to what they don’t want to hear. I didn’t mean to tell you that Bruce Willis was dead the whole time, it just slipped out. Get over it. It doesn’t matter what happens, it only matters how it happened. A good spoiler only gets you more excited if you want to see it. Everyone knew the Titanic was going to sink but they still saw it anyway. It’s the journey, the experience that makes it interesting. That’s what counts, not that Keyser Söze and Kevin Spacey were the same fucking guy.

Critically Rated at 11/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Rereading a Book

I still read books despite the Internet’s many distractions. And when I finish a good book, I’ll usually reread it as soon as I’m done. I mentioned that to a friend and he looked at me like I’m an alien. He never reread a book in his life. If he read it once, he’s already read it, so what’s the point of reading it again? You read it again because you like the story. You read it again to see character development and to spot clues and themes and symbolism. You watch a movie again if you like it. You listen to a song again if you like it. The more you like something, the more you want to experience it. Rereading a book should be no exception.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filed under Entertainment