January 21, 2015 · 12:55 pm

Inside the Clubhouse: Dynasty

SFG Productions presents Inside the Clubhouse: Dynasty, a documentary about the 2014 San Francisco Giants postseason. It’s a 45-minute recap of the team’s victories and greatest plays on their way to their third World Series title in five years. It’s awesome if you’re a Giants fan, not so much if you’re a Pirates fan/Nationals fan/Cardinals fan/Royals fan. It seemed like each Giants player had a moment to shine during the playoffs (although Mad Bum stole the spotlight). This program lets you relive all the torture, tension, and glorious relief as the Giants ultimately take a dramatic Game 7. The documentary raises the question about whether or not the Giants are a dynasty. The answer is yes. Yes, they are. The film is currently available online but I don’t know for how long, so you should watch it now. Like right now. Here’s the link below. You’re welcome. http://sanfrancisco.giants.mlb.com/sf/fan_forum/gen/index.jsp

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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January 20, 2015 · 1:51 pm

Detective John Munch

There have been television crossovers for as long as there’s been television programming. Characters from one show will appear on another show, indicating that they take place in the same universe. The Flintstones met the Jetsons, the Simpsons met the Griffins, the Critic, and the Futurama gang. All the TGIF shows were interlinked. But sometimes TV shows are connected by less obvious characters, chief amongst them is Detective John Munch (played by Richard Belzer). Detective Munch first appeared on NBC’s Homicide: Life on the Street. When that show ended, Munch become a regular on Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. But the character has popped up on a couple of other shows on a few different networks. He made a brief appearance in HBO’s The Wire, and he also was in an episode of Arrested Development and in The X-Files (both on FOX).

Don’t you see what all that means? The gritty world of The Wire, Homicide, and all the Law & Order shows also take place in the zany world of Arrested Development and the supernatural world of The X-Files. Detective John Munch is in all those shows, and that means they are in the same universe. You can go further into it and realize this universe includes all the crossovers with other TV shows associated with Law & Order, Arrested Development, The X-Files, and The Wire. There’s a really good article about this Grand Unification Theory written by Dwayne McDuffie. You should check it out if you still feel like reading even more about this topic than you already have. I’ve included the link for your convenience here:

http://www.slushfactory.com/content/EpupypyZAZTDOLwdfz.php

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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January 20, 2015 · 1:47 pm

A New Strain of Marijuana?

High Times recently published an article about a new strain of cannabis discovered in Australia’s Blue Mountains. Most stoners could talk your ear off about the benefits of sativa, indica, or ruderalis (which has a lesser THC content so it’s less popular), but a new strain raises a lot of questions. Questions like what does it smoke like? and where can I get it?… Researchers have merely confirmed that it is indeed a new strain but they don’t have any seeds, only the sample of a single plant. Without any seeds we can’t cultivate anything. It’s up to 420-friendly hikers in the Australian Blue Mountains to find a seed and bring it back for the benefit of mankind. So get on it if you’re down under. You gave the world Crocodile Dundee and Steve Irwin, but you haven’t done much for us lately. A new strain of marijuana would make for a great comeback.http://www.hightimes.com/read/new-strain-cannabis-discovered

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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January 19, 2015 · 9:35 pm

Leaving Your Sandals at a Restaurant

I’ve been a server for over nine years now. It pays the bills, it’s a lot of fun, and it’s a source for endless anecdotes. I’ve seen people from all over the world and I thought that I’ve seen it all, but I had a new one the other day. It was a busy Saturday lunch shift and the rush had just ended. I had four tables pay out and leave around the same time. I took the dirty plates and silverware off the table, ran them to the dishwasher, and came back to sweep under the tables. That’s when I discovered a pair of flip-flop sandals left underneath a booth. Someone actually forgot about their footware. He or she got up and walked out of the premises barefoot without noticing a thing. And they didn’t ever come back for them. They just left, said fuck it, and moved on with their day. I don’t know how that’s possible. We’re not talking about a credit card or a cellphone here. It’s very easy to forget those things. It’s damn near impossible to forget your shoes unless you’re Aborigine. You’d think that as soon as you’d walk outside you would realize that something’s wrong. There’s a lesson to be learned in all this: Leaving your sandals at a restaurant will result in a flabbergasted server blogging about it.

Critically Rated at 6/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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January 18, 2015 · 3:30 pm

Blankets (graphic novel)

Blankets is a 2003 graphic novel by Craig Thompson. It’s one of the most important and influential graphic novels of the last twenty years. It’s an autobiographical story about questioning faith, childhood, and first love. The story begins with Craig’s experiences with his younger brother and family in Wisconsin. His parents were devoutly religious and brought up Craig to be the same. He reads the Bible nightly and begins considering a career in the ministry as he gets older.

Craig was a bit of a loner and an outcast, misunderstood and bullied by his peers at school and at Bible camp. He eventually joins a small group of outcasts, including a free-spirited girl named Raina. Craig and Raina begin to develop feelings for each other, but their relationship is hindered by the fact that they live in different states. They keep in touch through letters, phone calls, and care packages. Raina invites Craig to come stay with her for a couple of weeks and he does.

Craig meets Raina’s family, which is a little more complicated than his to say the least. Raina’s parent’s are in the midst of a nasty divorce. She has an older sister named Julie. Julie is married and has a baby, but Raina seems to take more care of the baby than Julie does. Raina also has two adopted siblings named Ben and Laura. Ben and Laura are both mentally challenged and Raina feels responsible for them as well. Raina’s social life is also very different than Craig’s. She is actually popular and has lots of friends. She’s the life of the party while Craig feels awkward and left out.

A good portion of the story is about those two weeks he spends with Raina. He discovers more about himself. He finds love and happiness, and also learns that love and happiness don’t always last. Thompson’s story is simple and complex simultaneously. He uses flashbacks and metaphors and weaves in and out of the main narrative but tells the story chronologically. It’s like life; you’re always going forward but you can still look back and remember the things that brought you to this point.

Comic books are not always about superheroes. Real life can be a lot more interesting. Thompson’s story is deeply personal to him and it resonates onto the reader. You feel the joy of his victories and the pain of his losses. It’s easy to see why Blankets is one of the best graphic novels of all time, up there with Watchmen and Jimmy Corrigan, the Smartest Kid on Earth. It’s not just one of the best graphic novels, it’s one of the best novels period. Read it for yourself and see why.

Critically Rated at 16/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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January 18, 2015 · 3:26 pm

Free Tickets

Every now and then the universe decides that I need to have some fun and it rewards me with free tickets. Sometimes I get free concert tickets. Sometimes it’s movie tickets. And everyone knows that I’m a huge SF Giants fan, so I can usually snag free tickets from friends during baseball season. A free ticket is almost always a good thing. It allows you to escape from reality and the mundane for a few hours. You can’t complain about having a bad seat if you got a free ticket. It’s a better view than not being there. And it’s free so you’ll have more money to spend on food, booze, and souvenirs. And if you have extra free tickets, you can scalp those and have even more money for food, booze, and souvenirs. You should accept free tickets whenever the opportunity comes knocking.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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January 16, 2015 · 10:53 pm

Hair of the Dog

Everybody knows that you fight fire with fire and that the best cure for a hangover is more alcohol. It’s known as hair of the dog. You might wake up the morning after a night of partying with a splitting headache and a craving for McDonald’s, but downing a Bloody Mary or a Mimosa in the a.m. is enough to save your life. You’re not drinking to get drunk again. You’re drinking to get rid of the pain. A hangover is the first sign of alcohol withdrawal. Pumping booze back into your system helps to level you out. It’s science. I read it on Wikipedia. Now you read it here. Dealing with the hair of the dog is not an easy thing to handle sometimes. It’s tough to drink when you don’t want to drink. But you’ll actually feel better if you can stomach it and manage not to puke. The best cure for a hangover is often the hair of the dog that bit you.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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January 14, 2015 · 8:04 pm

How to Be a Man

How to Be a Man is a 2013 comedy starring Gavin McInnes and directed by Chadd Harbold. It’s about a guy who makes an instructional video about how to be a man for his unborn son when he finds out that he’s dying of male breast cancer. It’s one of the most raunchy and hilarious comedies that I’ve ever seen. It’s an indie film that flew under the radar so don’t feel bad if you haven’t heard about it. I only heard about it from a friend who stumbled upon it on Netflix and he wouldn’t shut up about it until I finally watched it. I’m glad that I did.

Gavin McInnes plays Mark McCarthy, a washed-up comedian who finds a breast lump and is suddenly faced with his mortality. He decides the best thing to do is film a video with words of advice for his unborn son. He enlists the help of Bryan (played by Liam Aiken), the son of a slutty girl that he once knew, and they start to film Mark’s various lessons that range from smelling farts to cunnilingus. Along the way, Mark helps transform Bryan into a man and Bryan helps Mark become less of a selfish douchebag.

The cast is largely unknown, but Gavin McInnes is most famous for being the co-founder of the magazine Vice. You might remember a young Liam Aiken co-starring with Susan Sarandon and Julia Roberts in Stepmom or alongside Jim Carrey in Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events. I don’t want to go too crazy with plot details, so I will just wrap up this review by recommending this film to anybody who likes gross-out juvenile man humor. It’s not classy and it’s not trying to be. Watch this movie; you’ll be glad you did.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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January 14, 2015 · 8:03 pm

Master of Disguise Imperial Golden Stout

Stone Brewing Co. has a delicious brew released under their Stochasticity Project label. It’s called Master of Disguise Imperial Golden Stout. It’s blonde stout. It’s amazing. It looks like a golden ale. It pours a hazy orange copper color with a thin white head. But it smells of toasted grains, roasted malts, chocolate, and coffee. It tastes like an Imperial stout. There’s lots of coffee and dark chocolates, it’s roasty with a hop balance. It’s beyond delicious for any fans of stouts. It even has a 9.7% ABV. It’s a stout in everyway except appearance. It really is a master of disguise. This beer is hard to find and it’s a one-time batch so it will soon be impossible to find. Seize the chance to buy a bottle while you can. You shan’t be disappointed.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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January 12, 2015 · 3:24 pm

Passing Notes in Class

I was watching The Wonder Years and there was a scene with Kevin Arnold passing notes in class. There’s something special about passing notes. You jot something down on piece of paper and pass it over to a friend when the teacher’s back is turned. They write something back while you anxiously await their response. They slyly return it when the teacher’s not looking. It was like texting before there was texting. Hell, it was better than texting. It was more personal, immediate, and thrilling because you could get in trouble for it. And you could save a really good note as a memento or trophy. I don’t know if kids pass notes in class anymore. I’m sure some do, but they probably use their smartphones for the majority of their illegal classroom socializations.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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January 12, 2015 · 3:23 pm

A Dog Without a Tail

I was outside and saw a guy walking his dog. It looked like an Australian shepherd. I could tell by the coat and the missing tail. It dawned on me that I’m not a big fan of dogs without tails. All the dogs that I grew up with had tails. Tails are a pretty important part of being a dog. They allow the dog to show emotion. They indicate to stupid humans what a dog is feeling. If the tail is between the legs, the dog is scared. If the tail is wagging, the dog is happy. If the tail is missing, the dog is an enigma. I’m not bashing dogs without tails; I’m saying that I can’t trust them. I’ve met a few dogs without tails and they were perfectly nice for the most part, but I couldn’t tell their motives. It was like it was being a cat, and being a cat defeats the whole purpose of being a dog.

Critically Rated at 7/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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January 10, 2015 · 10:06 pm

Losing Your Board From Under Your Feet

I was skating down the sidewalk the other day, carving and weaving in and out of the throngs of pedestrians, and just generally being a badass, until I hit a small rock. My wheel locked, I went flying forward, and my board went rolling backwards. Luckily I have the reflexes of a housecat and was able to stop myself from falling. My board was not so lucky. As soon as I regained my footing, I turned around to see my board fifty feet away and it kept on moving. A kind stranger was nice enough to stop my board and give it back to me. I sheepishly accepted it, thanked him, and apologized for the inconvenience. I was pretty relieved that my board didn’t zoom off into the street or plow into a group of old ladies. I consider myself a fairly competent skater, but sometimes sticks, cracks, and rocks get in the way of your momentum. Losing your board from under your feet is never a good feeling. It’s like having your security blanket wrenched away from you when you least expect it. You only have a split second for your reflexes to kick in. Sometimes that’s not enough time to recover. It’s going to happen sooner or later. It comes with the territory.

Critically Rated at 6/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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January 10, 2015 · 10:04 pm

Premium from Stillwater Artisanal Ales

Premium is an American Blonde Ale brewed by Maryland’s Still Water Artisanal Ales. It’s described as a ‘Post Prohibition’ style ale brewed with Pilsner malt, corn, and rice. It is easily the worst beer that I’ve ever had. I mean it is terrible. I used to not believe in bad beers. I used to believe that some beers were just better than others. Now I know the truth. There are bad beers. And this one takes the cake. It pours a cloudy golden straw color with a white head. It looks decent. Then you smell the aroma of musty hay and grass. It smells skunky and funky and old. And then you taste it and it’s even worse than you think it could possibly be. It tastes like it was left out all night. It’s rancid. It’s almost undrinkable. I tried this beer with four other beer snobs. None of us could stomach it. I don’t like to waste beer but I poured this brew down the toilet. It wasn’t even good enough for the sink. From now on I will be weary of anything that Stillwater Artisanal Ales has to offer. If they can put a shoddy brew like this on the market, I can’t trust anything they do. And it’s only 4.5% ABV so you can’t even get drunk off it. For shame.

Critically Rated at 3/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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January 8, 2015 · 5:17 pm

Picking Rocks from the Bottoms of Your Shoes

I went for a hike the other day. It was a real hike. I went on a trail and everything. I hiked a few miles out then I hiked a few miles back. When I got back to civilization I noticed that there were dozens of little rocks stuck in the treads of my shoes. I don’t like rocks in the bottom of my shoes. I sat down, pulled off my shoe, and used a little stick to poke out all the rocks. Then I did the same to the other shoe. I felt better once all the rocks were out. Picking rocks from the bottoms of your shoes will give you better traction and keep you from scuffing up hardwood floors. It also makes your shoes look better (at least the bottoms of them).

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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January 8, 2015 · 5:16 pm

Jackass Number Two

Jackass Number Two is the 2006 sequel to Jackass: The Movie. Johnny Knoxville, Bam Margera, Steve-O, Chris Pontius, Ryan Dunn, Dave England, Wee Man, Preston Lacy and Ehren McGhehey all return to showcase their insane brand of stunts and practical jokes. It’s a more extreme than the first movie. They really tried to outdo the first one. Expect to see a lot more vomit, poo, and horse semen. The best thing about the Jackass movies is that they have no plot. It’s perfect for when you feel like laughing but don’t want to pay attention.

It looks and feels like the cast had a fun time filming the movie. It’s a pretty good gig. They get to hang out with friends all day getting fucked up and doing fucked up things to each other. And they get money and fame for it. Johnny Knoxville is the obvious star and leader of the Jackass crew; he does the most stunts and is the most fearless. He brings a cocky charisma that the other cast members lack. Bam Margera is probably the second most famous member, but he doesn’t deserve to be. He’s a little bitch and it becomes apparent a few times throughout the movie (most noticeably when he starts to cry because of a little cobra). Steve-O and Chris Pontius are always fun to watch together. Ryan Dunn has a few moments that stand out, and it makes me sad when I remember that he’s no longer with us. Jackass Number Two is worth watching, and it’s not a bad movie to own either. It doesn’t try to do too much. It’s not trying to win any awards. It just is what it is.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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January 7, 2015 · 1:52 pm

When an Old Friend Visits Your City and Doesn’t Tell You

I woke up this morning and did my usual routine, which of course involves checking Facebook and seeing what the world is up to. I saw my friend’s feed, on which he posted several images of the Golden Gate Bridge and various San Francisco landmarks with a caption reading, “Great weekend in a great city!” I agreed with his caption, but couldn’t help feel slighted because this friend is from another country and doesn’t come out to California too often. He should have told me he was coming. I would have bought him a beer. It’s a shitty feeling when an old friend visits your city and doesn’t tell you. It makes you feel left out and unwanted. And you are. And there’s no way to get back at them, short of going to their city and posting pictures of their landmarks. Ain’t nobody got time for that. I’ll just stick to writing passive-aggressive blog posts.

Critically Rated at 5/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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January 6, 2015 · 2:23 pm

The Wolf of Wall Street

Leonardo DiCaprio stars as Jordan Belfort, a real life stockbroker who made millions of dollars by scamming people in the ‘80s. He made tons of money, had sex with a bunch of women, did a lot of drugs, and inspired a lot of people to do the same by publishing his life story in a memoir. This film adaptation brings Jordan Belfort’s story to the big screen and turns Belfort into kind of a folk hero. This film celebrates Belfort’s crimes and pays no attention to his victims. I doubt Bernie Madoff would get that kind of treatment, but Belfort is depicted as a rock star.

Leonardo DiCaprio gives another brilliant (yet Oscar-snubbed) performance in another Martin Scorsese film. These guys have been making quality films together for over a decade now. They know how to work with each other, and more importantly, they trust each other. Jordan Belfort is brash, arrogant, and an asshole but you still root for him to succeed and feel bad when his past catches up with him. A part of you hates him, a part of you loves him, and that kind of emotional manipulation has become a trademark of Scorsese’s films.

The supporting cast is great. Jonah Hill is practically unrecognizable as Donnie Azoff. Matthew McConaughey has a brief but memorable part. Rob Reiner, Jon Bernthal, Jon Favreau, and Ethan Suplee have small supporting roles as well. But the beautiful Margot Robbie will be the one who benefits the most from this movie. She’s a relative newcomer yet she holds her own against Leonardo DiCaprio and is the most captivating person whenever she is on camera. She is beautiful. And she gets naked and that’s always a bonus.

The three-hour running time is a little too long. It could have been two hours long, maybe two and a half. It runs out of steam a few times and a few scenes are redundant. Yes, we know that everyone is making crazy money and doing illegal things. You don’t need to show that forty different ways. We get it. Still, this is a great movie and deserves to be treated as one. Watch it. It’s on the Netflix.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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