Tag Archives: fall

Losing Your Board From Under Your Feet

I was skating down the sidewalk the other day, carving and weaving in and out of the throngs of pedestrians, and just generally being a badass, until I hit a small rock. My wheel locked, I went flying forward, and my board went rolling backwards. Luckily I have the reflexes of a housecat and was able to stop myself from falling. My board was not so lucky. As soon as I regained my footing, I turned around to see my board fifty feet away and it kept on moving. A kind stranger was nice enough to stop my board and give it back to me. I sheepishly accepted it, thanked him, and apologized for the inconvenience. I was pretty relieved that my board didn’t zoom off into the street or plow into a group of old ladies. I consider myself a fairly competent skater, but sometimes sticks, cracks, and rocks get in the way of your momentum. Losing your board from under your feet is never a good feeling. It’s like having your security blanket wrenched away from you when you least expect it. You only have a split second for your reflexes to kick in. Sometimes that’s not enough time to recover. It’s going to happen sooner or later. It comes with the territory.

Critically Rated at 6/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Old Person Falling

One of the saddest things you can ever witness is an old person falling. When I was eleven years old my grandma was reaching for something on her dresser and she fell out of her wheelchair. I was the only other one home at the time and wasn’t strong enough to lift her up. She had to stay sprawled out on the floor while I went next door to find a neighbor to help. The worst part is how embarrassed she was. She was completely helpless and she knew it. It’s gut-wrenching to live your whole life independently and suddenly becoming reliant on other people. All you can do when an old person falls is to help them and hope they aren’t hurt. Their pride is always damaged. Treat them with dignity and respect while you console them. You could be the one lying on the floor someday.

Critically Rated at 4/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Catching Something With Your Foot

I was at work the other day talking to my coworker when he suddenly dropped his empty coffee mug. It would have shattered completely but my spidey-sense was tingling and I was able to stick out my foot and break the fall. He was impressed with my quick reflexes and nimble athleticism, and he was especially grateful that he didn’t lose his favorite mug. It’s weird how attached we get to our coffee mugs. Catching something with your foot makes you feel like Pele. Or David Beckham. Or whoever the hip soccer player that all the kids are talking about now is. The most important thing to remember is that you’re not trying to kick the object, you’re trying to slow its descent using your foot. Be cautious and be gentle. Imagine that somebody dropped an egg or a baby. Use too much force and you’ll break it and that defeats the point of trying to save it.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Falling Off Your Skateboard

If you ride a skateboard, you are going to fall off of it. That’s how it works. It comes with the territory. You’ve never really skated if you’ve never fallen off. I was skating to the store the yesterday and hit a small pothole in the sidewalk. My wheel came to a dead stop and I kept going. I flew off my board and landed heavily on my side. It wasn’t too bad, just a skinned elbow and a little road rash, but I’m still pretty sore today. It feels like I got hit by a truck. Not a semi-truck, more like a small F-150 but it still hurts. I wasted my fall yesterday. Nobody saw it. Falling off your board sucks, but it’s worth it if you have a witness. It’s nothing to be embarrassed of or ashamed about, and it kind of becomes a shared experience when somebody sees you fall. Personally, I think that in the age of YouTube and Fail Videos, any fall that isn’t recorded is a complete waste.  Let’s think about it philosophically for a second… like if a tree falls in an empty forest, does it make a sound? Well, if a skater falls and nobody sees it, does anybody care?  Nope.

Critically Rated at 10/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Fall Foliage

One of the best parts about autumn is seeing the leaves change color. Not only is fall foliage an amazing sight, it’s also fun to say. Not everyone can say it right. It’s always fun to be able to point a finger and laugh at someone’s stupidity. Some people are really into fall foliage; it’s almost like a fetish. They will go on vacation and drive hundreds of miles out of the city to look at leaves. They take lots of pictures and they comment to each other about how beautiful the leaves are. They are fucking leaves. Humans are weird animals.

Critically Rated at 11/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Superman for All Seasons

If you’ve never read a Superman comic before, start with this one. Superman for All Seasons is a character study of who Superman is and what he represents. This isn’t an origin story. It doesn’t go into Superman’s alien past and how he came from a dying planet and all that hoopla. Jeph Loeb’s story is about Clark Kent leaving home and facing his destiny as Superman. Tim Sale’s incredible artwork brings a sense of grandeur and makes the icon more iconic.

There is no central narrator. Each season has it’s own narrator with their own view on Superman and/or Clark Kent. It’s kind of like Citizen Kane; you get a sense of the man through other people’s opinions of him. The first season explored is Spring. Jonathan Kent narrates as Clark Kent is on the verge of graduating from high school, and Clark is trying to cling on to memories but knows that he can’t stay in Smallville forever. Jonathan is worried about Clark’s powers and what he will do with them, but one day Clark saves a guy’s life and decides that saving people will be his calling. The boy becomes a man and goes to Metropolis to start his new life as Superman.

Lois Lane narrates the Summer story. Her perfect reporter world was turned upside down by the arrival of the Man of Steel. She’s still trying to grasp the fact that things have changed, that a man can fly, that the old rules don’t apply anymore. Superman saves Metropolis and Lois from a nuclear missile and submarine attack, because he’s Superman and that’s what he does. He feels lonely and homesick so he goes back to visit Smallville and is dismayed at how it doesn’t feel the same. Martha Kent reminds him that’s what happens when you grow up and to shut up and go back to Metropolis. He gets back just in time to save a lady from a fire and he scolds Lex Luthor’s flying soldiers for almost killing her.

Lex Luthor is the narrator for the Fall season. He is in love with Metropolis and doesn’t like the new guy who also calls it home. He hatches a plot to make Superman leave. It involves poisoning the citizens of Metropolis and making Superman come to him for help. Lex finds the lady that Superman saved from the fire in Summer, and brainwashes her into becoming Toxin. Superman goes to confront Lex, but time is of the essence, so he takes Toxin and they fly around spreading the antidote. And then Toxin suddenly dies and Lex manipulate Superman into thinking it was his fault that Toxin dies. Superman gets all sad and goes back home to Smallville.

It is now Winter, and Lana Lang takes over the narrating duties. Lana reveals that she wanted to marry Clark, but had to let him go be Superman. Clark and Lana spend some time together catching up and reliving old memories. They walk around Smallville, feeling nostalgic about being home again. There’s a huge flood that threatens the town and Clark comes to grips that he is Superman and that he has to do something because that’s what Superman does. The flood is a wakeup call and Clark goes back to the city and accepts his life as Superman.

This is not an exciting comic. There’s not much action scenes. It’s a reflection on who Clark Kent is and why he does what he does. It’s about the impact of Superman, about how he affects other people and what he means to them. The story is great and the art is amazing. There are several pictures that take up two whole pages, showing Clark and Jonathan gazing at a sunset or Superman flying heroically across the sky.

Superman for All Seasons is required reading for a Superman fan. It’s worth reading even if you don’t like Superman. It’s a coming-of-age story, it’s about finding your place in the world. Everyone can relate to that.

Critically Rated at 15/17

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