Monthly Archives: July 2013

July 4, 2013 · 8:04 am

Photobombing

Photobombing is when you sneak into the background of a picture without being noticed. It’s fun to photobomb your friends, but it’s more fun to photobomb strangers. The next time you notice some people taking a picture, put a stupid expression on your face and jump in behind them. It’s important that they don’t notice you until they examine the picture. If you do it right, they won’t see you until somebody else points out that they got photobombed. You got to pick your moments for photobombing. It should be a harmless prank; you’re not trying to ruin a once in a lifetime moment. You should only photobomb casual photos, not wedding photos or graduation pictures. It should be a harmless prank; you’re not trying to ruin a once in a lifetime moment.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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July 3, 2013 · 9:29 am

Naked Peach Guava + Coconut Water

Naked makes all natural fruit juices, made with 100% juice and no sugar added. It’s healthy and delicious, not to mention it’s also gluten free, has no preservatives, and is vegan. But I don’t care about all the health bullshit, I care if it tastes good or not. And it tastes good. I got the Peach Guava + Coconut Water blend. It has ¾ of a peach, ¾ of a guava, ½ of a coconut’s water, 1/3 of a mango, ¾ of an orange, and ¾ of an apple. The peach, guava, and mango makes it tastes tropical, the coconut water gets kind of muted, but it makes the medley more refreshing. And it’s fun to say that I got Naked at the store. Or that I got Naked with your mom and she swallowed my sweet sticky juice. I can keep going with this. There’s nothing wrong with getting Naked. You should get Naked too and see what all the fuss is about. Everyone should get Naked and we can have a huge Naked party.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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July 3, 2013 · 9:25 am

Getting Distracted

Everyday you have something that you need to get done by a certain time. It’s paying a bill, it’s finishing a report, it’s doing chores or running errands. We all have things to do and only a little bit of time to get it done. Some people keep their eye on the ball, but most of us prefer getting distracted on a subconscious level. We would rather listen to music, or get sucked into a TV show, or surf the net for hours rather than do actual work, because those things are more fun than work. It’s hard to stay focused when a smart phone allows you to hold the entire internet in your hand. We are nowhere near being as productive as our grandparents were. It seems like we want to get sidetracked, like we want to fail on some level. And I’m ok with that. I even created this site to distract you from your daily routine for a few minutes before something else distracts you from this distraction. That’s what the Internet is… a giant web of distractions.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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July 2, 2013 · 11:25 am

Forgetting to Charge Your Phone

You’re getting ready to go out for a few hours. You take a shower, you brush your teeth, you find something to wear, you make sure you have your keys, phone, and wallet, and then head out the front door. You feel like you’re prepared and that you have everything that you need until you look at your phone and you see it only has 25% battery left. Great, now you can only use your phone for texting and emergency calls. Checking Facebook or playing games will just turn your phone into a paperweight. You’re still kind of relieved that you brought it because you would feel naked without it, but a dead phone is a useless phone. It’s like a wallet without any cash or credit cards. It’s just a shell of what it’s supposed to be. I don’t like to leave the house with less than 80% battery life, but I always prefer a full charge for peace of mind. And I hate whoring myself out to borrow somebody’s charger.

Critically Rated at 9/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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July 2, 2013 · 11:24 am

RunPee

Going to the movies these days is a big deal. Tickets are expensive, the snacks and candy are expensive, the sodas are expensive… a 3-D IMAX movie for two people plus food can easily set you back fifty bucks. So it sucks when you’re watching a movie and you have to go to the bathroom. You don’t know when to get up and go. You paid and arm and a leg to watch this blockbuster and don’t want to miss the part where Superman destroys Metropolis. RunPee solves this problem. It’s a website and a downloadable app that tells you when to go. You select which movie you’re seeing, and it gives you a few options for the best time to go, like 47 minutes into the film when so-and-so says something, or an hour and twelve minutes into the film when another character makes a quip. And then it will tell you if you have three minutes or five minutes to use the bathroom. It even gives you a brief summary of what you missed. The app costs 99 cents. It’s worth every penny (yes, all 99 of them). The app comes with a timer so you don’t have to be glancing at your phone constantly. It will also tell you if there’s anything after the credits. It even dims your phone so you don’t disturb anyone else while using it. It’s a pretty handy app, and well worth getting if you’re a film junkie with a small bladder.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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July 1, 2013 · 10:18 am

Blacks and Asians

Have you ever noticed how much blacks and Asians have in common? They respect each other’s culture and even attempt to assimilate some cultural aspects. If you pay attention to pop culture, you’ll notice that blacks and Asians borrow from each other all the time. Case in point, the Wu-Tang Clan. They were heavily influenced by martial arts films and their debut album’s theme is about Shaolin style versus Wu-Tang style. RZA even did the music for Kill Bill. Blacks and Asians also share an affinity for Jackie Chan, but everybody loves Jackie Chan so I’m not sure that counts. They both love rap music and basketball and can dance way better than any white guy. A huge percentage of rappers and R&B singers use Chinese dragons and Kung Fu films as a motif in their music. There are an absurd amount of movies and TV shows about black ninjas/samurais/karate masters. Blade, Ghost Dog, Afro Samurai, etc. And we even have a bunch of martial arts films where a black person teams up with an Asian, like in the Rush Hour trilogy, Romeo Must Die… there are other examples but I’m too lazy to Google them. Asians are also the only race that blacks will allow to dress up like gangstas. It’s a compromise. If two cultures are constantly oppressed by Whitey, it’s only natural to form an alliance.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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July 1, 2013 · 10:11 am

Getting Sucked Into Your Timeline

I’m on Facebook a lot because I’m a product of my time. I make statuses, I check into places, I post pictures, I share articles, and I get tagged every single day. Every once in a while, I will log on and check out my profile. It’s like looking at your life from an outsider’s perspective. You’ll start looking at what other people have posted on your wall, and you’ll eventually start looking at old pictures. We don’t have actual photo albums anymore. Instead we have Facebook Timeline. It sucks that it’s not tangible, but it’s better in a lot of ways. You’ll stumble upon a picture of you and a group of friends that you never see anymore in a place that you never go to anymore. You’ll feel nostalgic and you can instantly tag them or message them to remind them about the glory days. It tells you when it was posted, so you can reflect on how much shit has changed since it was taken. Then you’ll click on another picture of another group of forgotten friends in another forgotten place. Then you click on another picture, and another bunch of memories come flooding back. Before you know it, three hours have passed and it’s time for bed. Getting sucked into your timeline is like picking up your yearbook from senior year, it’s a trip down memory lane.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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