Tag Archives: joke

Fake Sneeze

 Are you bored right now? Well, I have a little trick to entertain yourself. Pour some water on your hand or stick it under the faucet for a second. Then find somebody that’s not looking at you, creep up behind them, pretend to sneeze while shaking the water off your hand onto the back of their neck. Hilarity ensues. They will think that you sneezed on them. They either get really mad or figure out that you duped them. Nobody wants to be sneezed on so they will be quite relieved that it was only a fake sneeze. They might even join you in your laughter. Or they might punch you in the face. It’s comedic gold no matter what. And yes, I have faked quite a few sneezes in my day. I haven’t gotten punched yet, but I’ll admit that I deserve it when it finally happens. And I just wrote about fake sneezes, I must be getting desperate for things to blog about. Fuck. 

Critically Rated at 10/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Scaring Someone

I consider myself something of a trickster. I like playing pranks on people. Scaring someone is an easy and cheap way of entertaining yourself. All you need to do is sneak up on somebody who’s not paying attention. You creep up behind them and say “BOO!” Then you laugh as they jump and curse you for scaring them. Alternatively you can hide from view and then pop out at them. Remember to say “Boo!” It’s always funnier when you say “Boo!” when you scare them. It’s cliché, but it’s cliché for a reason. People like to be scared. They won’t admit it to save face, but you’re doing them a favor by scaring the shit out of them so don’t feel bad. It helps to hone their reflexes and could potentially save their life someday. The next time that you’re bored and need something to do, consider scaring someone. It will be well worth it, I assure you.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Manager Goose Chase

I’m a bit of a prankster at work sometimes. One of my favorite tricks to play on people is to send them on a manager goose chase. It’s a wild-goose chase for a manager that they will never find. It’s a simple gag. First off, get the managers in on it. They like to stave off boredom just as much as you do. Then you tell an unsuspecting coworker that a manager is looking for him. He goes to the manager to see what he wants. The manager says that he wasn’t looking for him, it was another manager. He goes and tracks down the other manager to see what he wants. That manager directs him to a different manager. He goes to find that manager to see what he wants. That manager sends him to a different manager. It can go on for a while depending how many supervisors and managers are on the clock. The best way to end the gag is to have the last manager send him back to the original manager. If the coworker hasn’t figured it out by then, he deserves to repeat the process. It’s a good prank. Nobody gets hurt, no property gets damaged, and it’s not good enough to post on YouTube so you won’t be ruining any lives. The manager goose chase. Try it the next time Monday is bringing you down.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

'I sent Higgins on a wild goose chase so we could get some work done.'

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Saran Wrap Over the Toilet

April Fool’s Day is rapidly approaching. I know it’s not the end of January yet. I know we still have all of February and all of March. That doesn’t mean that we should neglect our duty to prank everyone and anyone we can. One of the simplest and most timeless pranks is to put Saran Wrap over the toilet. Your victim will use the toilet to either take a piss or take a shit. The Saran Wrap will keep their excrement from being easily flushable. They will do their business and see that it doesn’t go anywhere. Doesn’t that sound like fun? It is. Try it today and see for yourself.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Dad Jokes

A dad joke is a joke that your dad would tell you. They are the corniest jokes of all time. You might say, “My nose is running,” and your dad will respond with “Well, then you better go catch it!” You might say, “I’m hungry,” and he will respond with “Hi Hungry, I’m Dad!” They aren’t funny and they make you groan, but you learn to appreciate them. You might even start to use them and quote him. That’s how you know that you’re getting older. Dad jokes will never impress anyone much. You could never have a standup comedy career using them. But you can never be a dad unless you tell them. It’s required.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Inside Joke

An inside joke is a joke that you share with only a handful of people. It’s only funny for you and the few people that are in on it. You all think it’s hilarious. Everyone else thinks it’s stupid. They also feel left out, but they will never admit that. It’s rude to tell inside jokes around somebody on the outside. You have to feign sympathy, apologize, and explain that it was an inside joke. And it’s awkward to tell them that they should stop laughing because they don’t get it. An inside joke is kind of like segregation. It makes some people feel included while isolating everyone else. An inside joke is the apartheid of comedy.

Critically Rated at 10/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Photobombing

Photobombing is when you sneak into the background of a picture without being noticed. It’s fun to photobomb your friends, but it’s more fun to photobomb strangers. The next time you notice some people taking a picture, put a stupid expression on your face and jump in behind them. It’s important that they don’t notice you until they examine the picture. If you do it right, they won’t see you until somebody else points out that they got photobombed. You got to pick your moments for photobombing. It should be a harmless prank; you’re not trying to ruin a once in a lifetime moment. You should only photobomb casual photos, not wedding photos or graduation pictures. It should be a harmless prank; you’re not trying to ruin a once in a lifetime moment.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Not Getting the Joke Right Away

You’re hanging out with your friends, talking shit and cracking jokes at each other’s expense, and somebody says something that makes everyone else laugh. You don’t know why they are laughing, but you don’t want to seem out of place, so you’ll laugh along and laugh harder than anyone else. You’ll think about what they said and the context in which they said it, but your mind draws a blank as to why it’s funny. It’s always funny to see somebody finally get the joke, their eyes light up as it suddenly dawns on them and they let out a cackle. It might take a few minutes, it might take a few days, but it will click when you least expect it. You never want to admit that you don’t get a joke, and you especially don’t want to get called out for it. It’s better to be ignorant than embarrassed.

Critically Rated at 8/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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LOL

LOL is Internet/text speak for “laugh out loud.” You use it when someone says something funny or when you want to cover up a racist comment by pretending it’s a joke. Most of the time you aren’t actually laughing out loud when you type LOL, so you’re basically lying. Laughing is a weird thing to lie about. It makes me wonder what else you’re lying about.

Critically Rated at 12/17

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Popsicle Stick Jokes

I have a bit of a sweet tooth, so I’ve had my fair share of popsicles in my day. I’ve probably had over a thousand in my lifetime. And I swear there are only twelve popsicle stick jokes on them. Popsicle stick jokes are the cheesiest, corniest jokes, the kind of bullshit that your least favorite grandpa says like, “When is a door not a door? When it’s ajar.” Fuck you, it’s still a door. “What kind of room has no doors? A mushroom.” A mushroom is not a room, it’s a fungus, you piece of shit.

Instead of lame jokes, what if they gave you life advice and lotto numbers like fortune cookies?

Critically Rated at 7/17

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