Tag Archives: asian

Seaweed

Seaweed is a plant that grows in the ocean. It’s also what fish smoke. There are lots of different types of seaweed, but I can only name kelp off the top of my head. I’m writing about seaweed because I’m currently eating seaweed. I’m eating it as a snack. Yes, I’m Asian, how did you know? But it’s a good snack. They dry it out, and they manufacture it into nice sized pieces that you can pop in your mouth. It’s kind of salty, so it makes you drink more. It’s not filling, so you can drink more. It has no sugar or preservatives, so it’s got to be a little healthy. And if you’re healthy you can drink more. As you can see, there are a lot of reasons to eat seaweed. Try it. You might like it. If you do you can thank me. If you don’t, well that’s your lack of culture and upbringing so you can’t blame me.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

roasted-seaweed-snack

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Blacks and Asians

Have you ever noticed how much blacks and Asians have in common? They respect each other’s culture and even attempt to assimilate some cultural aspects. If you pay attention to pop culture, you’ll notice that blacks and Asians borrow from each other all the time. Case in point, the Wu-Tang Clan. They were heavily influenced by martial arts films and their debut album’s theme is about Shaolin style versus Wu-Tang style. RZA even did the music for Kill Bill. Blacks and Asians also share an affinity for Jackie Chan, but everybody loves Jackie Chan so I’m not sure that counts. They both love rap music and basketball and can dance way better than any white guy. A huge percentage of rappers and R&B singers use Chinese dragons and Kung Fu films as a motif in their music. There are an absurd amount of movies and TV shows about black ninjas/samurais/karate masters. Blade, Ghost Dog, Afro Samurai, etc. And we even have a bunch of martial arts films where a black person teams up with an Asian, like in the Rush Hour trilogy, Romeo Must Die… there are other examples but I’m too lazy to Google them. Asians are also the only race that blacks will allow to dress up like gangstas. It’s a compromise. If two cultures are constantly oppressed by Whitey, it’s only natural to form an alliance.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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The Most Important Asian Character of All Time

The Walking Dead’s Glenn is the most important Asian character of all time. He’s not a cliché. He’s an important Asian character because he’s an important character who happens to be Asian. Neither the show nor the comic ever resorts to stereotypes. He doesn’t do martial arts. He doesn’t show off his math skills. He’s not a bad driver. He doesn’t wear thick glasses and speak with a thicker accent. He’s a survivor like Rick but he’s stronger than Rick. He doesn’t become corrupted. In fact, he becomes a better person in the zombie apocalypse: he was a loser and a failure before the walkers came. Then he discovered that he was a survivor and capable of almost anything. He saved Rick’s life and brought him to the group. He gets supplies and constantly risks his life to protect the group. He even gets a white girlfriend that he gets to have sex with (Jet Li didn’t even get to kiss Aaliyah in Romeo Must Die). They rely on him. He isn’t the leader, but he’s still a leader. And he’s probably the most popular character on one of the most popular TV shows of all time. Glenn is more responsible for the upsurge in Asian pride than Jeremy Lin. Props to actor Steven Yeun for bringing Glenn to life and thanks to Robert Kirkman for creating the character.

Critically Rated at 17/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Getting a Fork at an Asian Restaurant

You’re hungry and in the mood for some rice and decide to try out that new Chinese place down the street. You get a table, sit down, pour some tea, and glance at the menu. At one point you notice that there isn’t any silverware on the table, just a few pairs of chopsticks. That’s ok because you know how to use chopsticks and want to show off your skills. Your waitress doesn’t think you have what it takes and she brings you a fork. Getting a fork at an Asian restaurant is an insult. It’s insulting for them to bring you one without you asking for one. That means they think you suck and aren’t cultured. It’s also insulting if you ask for a fork. I know that eating with sticks is hard, but you should eat Asian food the Asian way.

Critically Rated at 6/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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