Tag Archives: tag

An Annoying Tag

Everyone has at least on shirt in their wardrobe that looks great and fits great but it has an annoying tag. The tag will either pop out of your shirt or constantly be rubbing against the back of your neck until your neck is chafed and irritated. An annoying tag can ruin the whole shirt. The only way to deal with an annoying tag is to cut it off. But that won’t solve the problem because the universe wants you to be uncomfortable and another shirt will develop a problematic tag to annoy you. You can’t win. Don’t try. You just have to be miserable.

Critically Rated at 6/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Deciding Who’s It

You’re ten years old and you’re about to play a game of Tag or Kick the Can and it’s time to decide who is going to be it. It always sucks being It, but somebody has to be It. Deciding who’s It is always tricky, so you have to be fair about it. I always resorted to Eeny, Meeny, Miny, Moe or Fart in the Barnyard to determine the outcome. Everyone puts a fist in a circle (maybe two fists to mix it up) and somebody says “Fart in the barnyard/ Pey-yew/ Who did it come from?/ From you.” On each syllable the speaker taps a fist and rotates around the circle. Whoever is the last fist touched is either It or is eliminated from being It. It’s more fun to have an elimination process to determine who’s It. Anticipation makes everything better. Once you decide who’s It, you can finally play the game.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Getting Sucked Into Your Timeline

I’m on Facebook a lot because I’m a product of my time. I make statuses, I check into places, I post pictures, I share articles, and I get tagged every single day. Every once in a while, I will log on and check out my profile. It’s like looking at your life from an outsider’s perspective. You’ll start looking at what other people have posted on your wall, and you’ll eventually start looking at old pictures. We don’t have actual photo albums anymore. Instead we have Facebook Timeline. It sucks that it’s not tangible, but it’s better in a lot of ways. You’ll stumble upon a picture of you and a group of friends that you never see anymore in a place that you never go to anymore. You’ll feel nostalgic and you can instantly tag them or message them to remind them about the glory days. It tells you when it was posted, so you can reflect on how much shit has changed since it was taken. Then you’ll click on another picture of another group of forgotten friends in another forgotten place. Then you click on another picture, and another bunch of memories come flooding back. Before you know it, three hours have passed and it’s time for bed. Getting sucked into your timeline is like picking up your yearbook from senior year, it’s a trip down memory lane.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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They Tagged My Recycling Bin

            I live in San Francisco’s Sunset District. It’s the largest and most populated SF district, but it feels like you’re in the suburbs as opposed to being in the city. There’s not much crime and it’s generally safe to walk the streets at night. But apparently there are gangs and they protect their turf, and I’m right in the middle of a turf war. I know this because they tagged my recycling pin. They actually wasted paint and sprayed graffiti on it. I know that they have to protect their illegal drugs, gambling, and prostitution rackets, but I had no idea that my cans, bottles, and ripped up junk mail are just as valuable. I think I’m going to quit my job and get in on the action now that I know there’s money in illicit recycling. Does anyone want to join my recycling gang?

            Critically Rated at 5/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

            

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Check In

People like to go places and check in on Facebook or Foursquare. It’s a way of making your life seem more interesting than it actually is. Nobody really cares that you’re getting a burger, but everyone will like it if you check in at In-N-Out. People like to check in places and tag friends almost as much as they like Instagramming their food. Someone will do the obligatory check in whenever there’s a small party or get together. Everybody will get tagged except for one person, and they will inevitably comment on the check in to let everyone else know that they were there too. Check ins can be useful. I’ve met up with friends because I’ve seen that they were in the neighborhood. Businesses and establishments like the free advertising. It’s also a great way to tell the Internet that you’re not home so they can totally ransack your house and kill your goldfish. I like to abuse the check in system and tag friends that I’m not with. It can cause chaos and friction when people think that Jon came to town and didn’t tell them personally or even try to hang out. Then they’ll think that Jon’s a jerk and get mad at him. And I just laugh and laugh and laugh some more.

Critically Rated at 11/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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