Tag Archives: potato chips

Lay’s Cappuccino Potato Chips

You might have noticed the surge of oddly flavored potato chips hitting the market the past year or so. Sriracha. Chicken & Waffles. Wasabi Ginger. And Cappuccino. Yes, Cappuccino. Potato chips that taste like cappuccino. I saw them and I had to buy them. Because they are fucking potato chips that taste like cappuccino. I bought the bag, took it home, opened it up, and took a whiff. It smells like coffee. Salty coffee with a hint of stale milk. I was slightly worried, but I still picked up a chip. I studied it before I popped it into my mouth. It looked like a chip covered with instant coffee powder. Then I popped it into my mouth. It tasted like a chip covered with instant coffee powder. None of the flavors really mesh well, and they all cancel each other out. It’s a crunchy texture with a bland sweetness and a hint of coffee. I wouldn’t say that it’s salty but you can still taste salt, it’s just lost in the flavor confusion. There’s a touch of cinnamon, but it’s barely detectable. Lay’s Cappuccino Potato Chips look a lot more intimidating than they really are. They aren’t good, they aren’t bad. They are more of a novelty than a snack.

Critically Rated at 9/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Kettle Brand Sriracha Potato Chips

The Sriracha hot sauce phenomenon continues with the introduction of Kettle Brand Sriracha Potato Chips. Kettle Chips are my favorite potato chips and Sriracha is my go-to hot sauce, and this seems like a winning combination. When you open the bag, you’re instantly hit with an intense pepper aroma. It’s like a mild spraying of mace in your face. You can tell that it’s going to be hot right away. I took a chip, popped it in my mouth, chewed and swallowed it. It wasn’t that spicy at first, but Sriracha is deceptive and that’s why I love it. Just when you think that you’re in the clear, it creeps up on you. Your tongue starts to tingle and the fire starts to burn. Your eyes might water and you might start to sweat if you’re not used to spicy foods. And that’s just the first chip. If you’re an amateur, I would advise not shoveling a handful of chips in your mouth because you’ll regret it. The Sriracha flavor lingers and gets hotter and hotter well after the chip is gone. It’s like shotgunning beers. You think that you can handle it and then it suddenly hits you and you realize that you made a big mistake. These are damn good chips. I just wasn’t prepared for them and now I’m sweating like a motherfucker. Make sure you have something to drink when you eat them and that there’s a fire extinguisher near by.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Getting Stoned and Going Grocery Shopping

One of the biggest mistakes I’ve ever made was getting stoned and going grocery shopping before a camping trip. Anyone who has ever blazed knows what it’s like to experience the munchies. You take a few puffs and suddenly all you want is Cheetos and a Coke. And some Skittles. Oooh, and a Snickers too. Now imagine that you have to buy enough food and drinks to last for the next three days. You don’t want to underestimate how much shit to get, so you’ll compensate by buying a lot more than you need. Instead of getting a pack of 8 sticks of string cheese, you’ll get a pack of 32 just to be safe. Instead of one pack of hot dogs, you’ll buy two. And you can’t forget the buns, ketchup, mustard, and relish. And what goes good with hot dogs? Potato chips! So then you get a few bags of chips, and some dip to go with it. And then a few packs of beer to wash it down. And a few cases of soda just in case somebody doesn’t want beer or if you need a caffeine boost. And obviously you need ice to keep all the drinks cold and the food from spoiling. All that shit adds up, and it adds up quickly, and it doesn’t help that your stoned ass is walking up and down each aisle throwing more unnecessary shit into your cart. Before you know it, you’re at the register and you owe them $364.24. Then you go camping for a few days and end up with a fridge full of expired leftovers that remind you of your stupidity. And you don’t even want to eat any of it because it all tastes like failure. This is the type of situation they should discuss during anti-drug assemblies in middle school.

Critically Rated at 5/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Rold Gold Pretzel Tiny Twists

Pretzels are an underrated snack food. It seems like potato chips get all the attention. Rold Gold Tiny Twists are the basic bite-sized pretzels that you grew up with. They are salty and delicious. They make a great drinking food. They aren’t greasy and won’t leave any residue on your fingers. You can pop them into your mouth by the handful or you can break one up into smaller pieces and take your time eating it. And the salty flavor makes you want to drink more. And any excuse to drink more is ok with me.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Kettle Sea Salt Chips

Kettle Brand potato chips are my preferred brand of chips, and Sea Salt is one of my go-to flavors. Kettle Sea Salt Chips look similar to your basic Lay’s potato chip, only less greasy, more crunchy, and with more flavor. It’s basically an improvement in every way. The only downside to them is that they aren’t Krinkle Kut like some of the other Kettle Chip flavors. That makes them slightly less fun, but they are still better than 90% of the potato chips out on the market. Kettle is one of those companies that loves the environment and sustainability. They use wind power and biodiesel and all that hippie shit. But they didn’t sacrifice any flavor and still make gourmet chips. Kudos to them.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Kettle Chips Jalapeño Jack

         Chips are good. Cheese is good. Kettle Brand potato chips with a jalapeño jack flavor is even better. This is a limited batch commemorating thirty years in the potato chip business. It’s a delicious milestone. The chips aren’t Krinkle Cut like some of the other Kettle chips, they look kind of like Lay’s. They taste similar to a sour cream & onion flavor, but they are spicier. In a blind taste test there’s no way you could label this as a jalapeño jack flavor without being told that it was jalapeño jack. Try them out, you might like them. They won’t be available for long so grab them while you can.

Critically Rated at 10/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Kettle Zesty Ranch

Kettle Krinkle Kut Zesty Ranch chips are yet another decent flavor of Kettle brand potato chips. These are crinkled, which is always a bonus. There is a good amount of ranch flavoring, but it’s not as excessive as ranch Doritos. Kettle does bold flavors and it does them well, even though you might not be in the mood for that flavor. Kettle flavors are like the Leonardo DiCaprio of the chip world… he always does good critically acclaimed movies, and he is always good in them, but you can’t watch Inception all the time, and you don’t really want to either.

Critically Rated at 13/17

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Lay’s Garden Tomato and Basil

Lay’s classic potato chips get a slight flavor boost. It is reminiscent of a margherita pizza. It’s like they dehydrated a pizza sauce or Ragu or something and added that to chips. Try them, you might like them. I’ll stick to normal flavors like sea salt and salt & pepper and salt & vinegar. American flavors.

Critically Rated at 11/17

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