Tag Archives: hot dogs

Ketchup on Hot Dogs

I grew up in a magical land called California, a place where it is considered normal to put ketchup on hot dogs. I only found out a few years ago that this addition is considered blasphemy to the frankfurter community at large. Mustard is the only truly acceptable condiment allowed, and that relish, onions, and sauerkraut are all welcome additions before ketchup can even be considered. It’s somewhat disheartening to find out that I’ve been eating hot dogs wrong my whole life but I refuse to change. Not only do hot dogs taste better with ketchup, they taste hella better if you’re from Northern California like me. If you want to limit your palate with only mustard, that’s fine. It just means that there’s more ketchup for me.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

????????????????????????

Leave a comment

Filed under Snacks

Getting Stoned and Going Grocery Shopping

One of the biggest mistakes I’ve ever made was getting stoned and going grocery shopping before a camping trip. Anyone who has ever blazed knows what it’s like to experience the munchies. You take a few puffs and suddenly all you want is Cheetos and a Coke. And some Skittles. Oooh, and a Snickers too. Now imagine that you have to buy enough food and drinks to last for the next three days. You don’t want to underestimate how much shit to get, so you’ll compensate by buying a lot more than you need. Instead of getting a pack of 8 sticks of string cheese, you’ll get a pack of 32 just to be safe. Instead of one pack of hot dogs, you’ll buy two. And you can’t forget the buns, ketchup, mustard, and relish. And what goes good with hot dogs? Potato chips! So then you get a few bags of chips, and some dip to go with it. And then a few packs of beer to wash it down. And a few cases of soda just in case somebody doesn’t want beer or if you need a caffeine boost. And obviously you need ice to keep all the drinks cold and the food from spoiling. All that shit adds up, and it adds up quickly, and it doesn’t help that your stoned ass is walking up and down each aisle throwing more unnecessary shit into your cart. Before you know it, you’re at the register and you owe them $364.24. Then you go camping for a few days and end up with a fridge full of expired leftovers that remind you of your stupidity. And you don’t even want to eat any of it because it all tastes like failure. This is the type of situation they should discuss during anti-drug assemblies in middle school.

Critically Rated at 5/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

Leave a comment

Filed under 420

Corn Dogs

Corn dogs are my personal favorite deep-fried food on a stick. I think that a lot of people are with me on this one. Hot dogs are good, cornbread is good, combine the two and shove a stick in it, add some mustard and you are good to go. Some people don’t like corn dogs. Some people had a shitty childhood. Corn dogs remind me of carnivals and fairs and summertime. Comfort food is good. Comfort food on a stick is even better.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Leave a comment

Filed under Snacks