Tag Archives: hot

People’s Choice Hot & Spicy Beef Jerky

I’ve tried a lot of beef jerky brands in my day. My current favorite is People’s Choice. They’ve been making premium beef jerky since 1929, it’s handcrafted, family owned, and it’s made with 100% USA beef. They have a few different flavors, but Hot & Spicy is the best one. It’s hot and spicy like the name implies, but it’s not overly powerful. It goes great with a cold beer.

People’s Choice stands out because they cut their jerky really thin. It’s more like a sheet of jerky than a typical strip of jerky. It’s not as moist as some other brands but it’s not too dried out. It’s the perfect balance of meat and spice. Every time I offer someone a piece, they ask for another as soon as they finish. I’m torn because I want people to try it but I want it all for myself at the same time. I figured it might be easier to write about how good it is, sing its praises, and try to convince you to buy your own. The people have spoken, they’ve decided: it’s People’s Choice.

Critically Rated at 16/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Jack Link’s Sasquatch XXL Hot

Jack Link’s Sasquatch XXL Hot is a spicy snack stick. Jack Link’s also make an Original and a Mild, but I chose the Hot because it’s go big or go home. It’s called XXL because it’s bigger than most other meat sticks like Slim Jim, etc. I don’t know why they call it Sasquatch because there’s no sasquatch in it. It’s 2.2 ounces of beef, mechanically separated chicken, water, salt, corn syrup, spices (they don’t say what kind of spices), dextrose, soy protein isolate (yummy), flavoring (they don’t say what kind of flavoring. Meat flavoring I’m guessing), rice bran, fructose, molasses powder, hydrolyzed corn/soy/wheat protein, paprika extracts, smoke flavor, lactic acid starter culture (what the fuck does that mean?), sodium nitrate, and soy bean oil. Doesn’t that sound appetizing?

I kind of wish that I didn’t read what was in it before I opened it. It looks processed and greasy and it smells how it looks. The thick skin gives it a little crunch and texture and the filling is kind of mushy. The spiciness kicks in a after a few bites and gets more intense after you swallow it. The spiciness lingers for a while too so make sure you have something to drink with it. I actually like it. It goes great with a couple of brews and the game on. Real jerky is always better but sometimes you feel like a processed snack stick.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Don’t Offend the Plumber

I was at my friend’s house the other day and I was feeling parched so I asked him if I could grab a glass of water. He handed me a glass, I took it, and I went over to the sink. I turned on the faucet, filled my glass, and took a sip. It was warm. I dumped it out, filled up my glass again, and took another sip. It was even hotter. I dumped it out, double-checked the faucet and made sure that it was on the cold side, filled up my glass again, and took another sip. It was scalding hot. That’s when I realized that the hot and cold were switched. If I wanted cold water, I had to go turn it to the hot side. I asked my friend why it was reversed. He shook his head and told me the story of how he once accidently insulted a plumber that was fixing a leak. The plumber got offended and switched the hot and cold water out of spite. It’s been like that ever since. The moral of the story is don’t offend the plumber. He can fuck with your pipes and fuck with your mind.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Kettle Brand Sriracha Potato Chips

The Sriracha hot sauce phenomenon continues with the introduction of Kettle Brand Sriracha Potato Chips. Kettle Chips are my favorite potato chips and Sriracha is my go-to hot sauce, and this seems like a winning combination. When you open the bag, you’re instantly hit with an intense pepper aroma. It’s like a mild spraying of mace in your face. You can tell that it’s going to be hot right away. I took a chip, popped it in my mouth, chewed and swallowed it. It wasn’t that spicy at first, but Sriracha is deceptive and that’s why I love it. Just when you think that you’re in the clear, it creeps up on you. Your tongue starts to tingle and the fire starts to burn. Your eyes might water and you might start to sweat if you’re not used to spicy foods. And that’s just the first chip. If you’re an amateur, I would advise not shoveling a handful of chips in your mouth because you’ll regret it. The Sriracha flavor lingers and gets hotter and hotter well after the chip is gone. It’s like shotgunning beers. You think that you can handle it and then it suddenly hits you and you realize that you made a big mistake. These are damn good chips. I just wasn’t prepared for them and now I’m sweating like a motherfucker. Make sure you have something to drink when you eat them and that there’s a fire extinguisher near by.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Old Trapper Chipotle Carne Seca (Hot Picante) Beef Jerky

            Chipotle Carne Seca (Hot Picante) Beef Jerky is a hot and spicy jerky. It’s made of beef and made by the good people at Old Trapper. When you open the bag, the peppers and spices are quite noticeable. It smells intense but the flavor is a little more muted than what I was expecting. One piece isn’t that hot, but two pieces make you start to sweat a little bit, and three pieces will make you run for a glass of water. The spiciness creeps up on you and it lingers on your tongue for a few minutes. I was hoping that it would be insanely hot and it’s not, but it’s still pretty hot. Each piece of jerky is nice cut, not too thick and not too thin. Some pieces were dry and crumbly so it loses a few brownie points for that, but all in all, this is a good jerky.

            Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Burning the Roof of Your Mouth

Burning the roof of your mouth sucks. It usually happens with a cup of coffee or a slice of reheated pizza directly from the microwave. You just feel heat and searing pain and feel the roof of your mouth instantly blister up. It’s agony. And it has the added effect of destroying taste buds, making food taste bland and uninspiring for the next few hours. It reminds me of an old joke. Q: What was Helen Keller’s worst day? A: When she burned the roof of her mouth and couldn’t taste anything either. That’s first time I’ve made fun of Helen Keller on this site. That’s pretty impressive.

Critically Rated at 8/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Krave Chili Lime Beef Jerky

Krave is a brand of gourmet jerky. They make beef jerky, they make turkey jerky, and they make dried meat in different flavors. Most jerky flavors are the same. You have original, you have a hot & spicy, and you have a teriyaki. Krave’s Chili Lime Beef Jerky is a unique flavor, and that’s what initially caught my eye. I detect a spicy-hot flavor from the chili powder, and it’s offset by the zesty and citric lime flavor. It’s a nice complimentary flavor. You might sweat a little, but it’s the perfect amount of spicy. The jerky itself is thick cut, moist and tender. It’s the kind of jerky that you want to share so that other people can experience it, but it’s so good that you want to keep it all for yourself. Krave makes gourmet jerky, and jerky is the new microbrew. It’s going to blow up. There will be more brands, more flavors, and a huge market for jerky products. You can eat it in the car, on the trail, as a snack, or as a survival food. I will repost this article in five years, and you will see that I’m right in all my jerky predictions.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Cold Showers

People like being clean and taking showers helps people get clean. There are two main types of showers: hot or cold. Hot showers are the normal choice for normal people. They like water so hot it scalds their skin and fogs up the mirror. It’s warm, it’s inviting, it feels so right. Then there are cold showers. Most people regard cold showers as a form of torture or a sign that you need a new hot water heater. But some people actually like cold showers. They say a cold shower is refreshing, that it wakes them up. I think getting drenched with ice-cold water would be a lousy way to start the day. But it’s cool if you’re into that sort of thing; it just means there’s more hot water for me.

Critically Rated at 6/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Cheetos Flamin’ Hot Limón

It’s time for some junk food and you’re kind of sick of chips. Cheetos are a nice alternative. There are a few varieties to choose from: Crunchy, Puffs, and they have different flavors as well. Crunchy Flamin’ Hot has been my go-to for a few years, but when I’m feeling a little more adventurous I’ll kick it up a notch and grab the Flamin’ Hot Limón. It has a little more zest. They are spicy enough to make your face sweat and that’s always a good sign. The biggest downside to Flamin’ Hot Limón is that they stain your fingertips red. They should come with a wet nap included in the bag like a Cracker Jack prize.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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