Tag Archives: camping trip

Getting Stoned and Going Grocery Shopping

One of the biggest mistakes I’ve ever made was getting stoned and going grocery shopping before a camping trip. Anyone who has ever blazed knows what it’s like to experience the munchies. You take a few puffs and suddenly all you want is Cheetos and a Coke. And some Skittles. Oooh, and a Snickers too. Now imagine that you have to buy enough food and drinks to last for the next three days. You don’t want to underestimate how much shit to get, so you’ll compensate by buying a lot more than you need. Instead of getting a pack of 8 sticks of string cheese, you’ll get a pack of 32 just to be safe. Instead of one pack of hot dogs, you’ll buy two. And you can’t forget the buns, ketchup, mustard, and relish. And what goes good with hot dogs? Potato chips! So then you get a few bags of chips, and some dip to go with it. And then a few packs of beer to wash it down. And a few cases of soda just in case somebody doesn’t want beer or if you need a caffeine boost. And obviously you need ice to keep all the drinks cold and the food from spoiling. All that shit adds up, and it adds up quickly, and it doesn’t help that your stoned ass is walking up and down each aisle throwing more unnecessary shit into your cart. Before you know it, you’re at the register and you owe them $364.24. Then you go camping for a few days and end up with a fridge full of expired leftovers that remind you of your stupidity. And you don’t even want to eat any of it because it all tastes like failure. This is the type of situation they should discuss during anti-drug assemblies in middle school.

Critically Rated at 5/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filed under 420

Forgetting Why You Requested Time Off

Every once in a while when my work schedule is posted, I’ll notice that I have a few consecutive days off. I work 5-6 days a week, so that usually means that I requested the time off for something. But I don’t always remember why I requested it off. My boss requires a few weeks notification for time off requests, and I don’t have a planner/datebook/calendar to keep track of important dates, and Facebook usually handles my appointments, so it will occasionally slip my mind if there’s not an FB event for it. But Facebook can still come to the rescue for when you forget why you request time off. All you have to do is make a status and say: “I requested July 5-8 off, and I can’t remember why.” Before you know it, you’ll have five responses reminding you about the camping trip that you planned at the bar. And it’s like a bonus vacation from your drunk self. Forgetting why you requested time off sucks, but at least you have time off now. Even if you can’t remember what you were supposed to do, you could always do something else instead. A vacation is a vacation, and a vacation always beats work.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filed under Random Rants