Tag Archives: leftovers

Leftover Chinese Food

I ordered Chinese food for dinner last night and you know what that means… I had leftover Chinese food for dinner tonight. It’s the only way to do it. You order way more food than you can possibly eat, stuff your face as much as you can, and then put whatever remains into the fridge and that’s lunch and dinner for the new few days. I think leftover Chinese food almost tastes better than freshly cooked Chinese food. Somehow sitting in the refrigerator for hours and hours and then getting nuked in the microwave really brings out the flavor. Maybe it supercharges the MSG. I don’t what’s in it. I just know I can’t stop eating it.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Leftovers

Another Thanksgiving has come and gone, and hopefully your refrigerator is stocked with leftovers. Leftovers are the extra food that you still have at the end of a meal. You put them in Ziploc baggies, Tupperware, a to-go box, or in tin foil and stick it in the fridge. You pop it into the microwave and nuke it whenever you need a quick snack or bite to eat. A lot of college kids rely on leftovers to get from Thanksgiving to Christmas break without starving. Some food is more perishable than others. I wouldn’t recommend taking home fish or other types of seafood. Nachos get all soggy when you try to reheat it. Chinese food and pizza make the best leftovers. You don’t even need to heat up the pizza if you’re feeling lazy. A lot of leftovers stay in the fridge too long. They get moldy and inedible and you have to throw it out. That about sums up what is wrong with Americans: we get more food than we can possibly eat, and then we hoard it and hide it until we have to throw it away. But leftovers are a tradition, and you can’t leave Thanksgiving dinner without a slice of pie.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Getting Stoned and Going Grocery Shopping

One of the biggest mistakes I’ve ever made was getting stoned and going grocery shopping before a camping trip. Anyone who has ever blazed knows what it’s like to experience the munchies. You take a few puffs and suddenly all you want is Cheetos and a Coke. And some Skittles. Oooh, and a Snickers too. Now imagine that you have to buy enough food and drinks to last for the next three days. You don’t want to underestimate how much shit to get, so you’ll compensate by buying a lot more than you need. Instead of getting a pack of 8 sticks of string cheese, you’ll get a pack of 32 just to be safe. Instead of one pack of hot dogs, you’ll buy two. And you can’t forget the buns, ketchup, mustard, and relish. And what goes good with hot dogs? Potato chips! So then you get a few bags of chips, and some dip to go with it. And then a few packs of beer to wash it down. And a few cases of soda just in case somebody doesn’t want beer or if you need a caffeine boost. And obviously you need ice to keep all the drinks cold and the food from spoiling. All that shit adds up, and it adds up quickly, and it doesn’t help that your stoned ass is walking up and down each aisle throwing more unnecessary shit into your cart. Before you know it, you’re at the register and you owe them $364.24. Then you go camping for a few days and end up with a fridge full of expired leftovers that remind you of your stupidity. And you don’t even want to eat any of it because it all tastes like failure. This is the type of situation they should discuss during anti-drug assemblies in middle school.

Critically Rated at 5/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Asking for a To-Go Box and Leaving It on the Table

Some people go out to eat, order too much, ask for a to-go box to take their leftovers home, and then leave their box of food on the table when they leave. Asking for a to-go box and leaving it on the table is counterproductive and wasteful. Not only are you wasting your extra food, but now you’re also wasting the to-go box and the bag that goes with it. Did you only ask for the box to test your server’s attentiveness? If you ask for a box, then you should use that fucking box. It’s common courtesy.

Critically Rated at 5/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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