Tag Archives: kettle chips

Kettle Brand Sriracha Potato Chips

The Sriracha hot sauce phenomenon continues with the introduction of Kettle Brand Sriracha Potato Chips. Kettle Chips are my favorite potato chips and Sriracha is my go-to hot sauce, and this seems like a winning combination. When you open the bag, you’re instantly hit with an intense pepper aroma. It’s like a mild spraying of mace in your face. You can tell that it’s going to be hot right away. I took a chip, popped it in my mouth, chewed and swallowed it. It wasn’t that spicy at first, but Sriracha is deceptive and that’s why I love it. Just when you think that you’re in the clear, it creeps up on you. Your tongue starts to tingle and the fire starts to burn. Your eyes might water and you might start to sweat if you’re not used to spicy foods. And that’s just the first chip. If you’re an amateur, I would advise not shoveling a handful of chips in your mouth because you’ll regret it. The Sriracha flavor lingers and gets hotter and hotter well after the chip is gone. It’s like shotgunning beers. You think that you can handle it and then it suddenly hits you and you realize that you made a big mistake. These are damn good chips. I just wasn’t prepared for them and now I’m sweating like a motherfucker. Make sure you have something to drink when you eat them and that there’s a fire extinguisher near by.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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A Girl Reciting Everything She Ate That Day

It’s a known fact that girls keep an inventory of everything that they have ever eaten in their whole entire life. I’ve lost track of how many times a girl has told me what she ate that day. It’s always the same general story. It starts with her telling you that she’s fat. Not just fat, but SOOOO fat. Then she will proceed to list off every single thing that she ate that day and in the order that she ate it. It’s something like, “Oh my god, I’m so fat. I had half a Pop-Tart and a small bowl of Cheerios with bananas for breakfast, and then I splurged and got a small Jamba after yoga because I felt like earned it, and then I had half an Odwalla bar and 6 grapes with some water at the gym. Oh, and I had Kettle Chips before the gym. I had a salad at lunch and then Stacy and I were bad and split a cheesecake! It was chocolate and strawberry and it wasssssss ssssssooooooooo yummmmmmmyyyyyyyyyyy. I swear I could eat cheesecake like everyday….” It’s best to cut her off before you hear about dinner and all the other random snacks that she shoved in her face throughout the day. That’s awesome that you’re not bulimic but I don’t give a fuck what you ate. You look good though.

Critically Rated at 9/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Kettle Chips Jalapeño Jack

         Chips are good. Cheese is good. Kettle Brand potato chips with a jalapeño jack flavor is even better. This is a limited batch commemorating thirty years in the potato chip business. It’s a delicious milestone. The chips aren’t Krinkle Cut like some of the other Kettle chips, they look kind of like Lay’s. They taste similar to a sour cream & onion flavor, but they are spicier. In a blind taste test there’s no way you could label this as a jalapeño jack flavor without being told that it was jalapeño jack. Try them out, you might like them. They won’t be available for long so grab them while you can.

Critically Rated at 10/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Kettle Zesty Ranch

Kettle Krinkle Kut Zesty Ranch chips are yet another decent flavor of Kettle brand potato chips. These are crinkled, which is always a bonus. There is a good amount of ranch flavoring, but it’s not as excessive as ranch Doritos. Kettle does bold flavors and it does them well, even though you might not be in the mood for that flavor. Kettle flavors are like the Leonardo DiCaprio of the chip world… he always does good critically acclaimed movies, and he is always good in them, but you can’t watch Inception all the time, and you don’t really want to either.

Critically Rated at 13/17

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Kettle Salt & Fresh Ground Pepper

These are Krinkle kut Kettle chips in a nice normal flavor. It is not too salty, and it has just the right amount of pepper. It’s good tasting and a great introduction to Kettle brand natural potato chips. These are pretty much the exact opposite of the potato chip spectrum from processed and perfectly formed Pringles. Kettle chips are legit and you deserve to try them. You earned it.

Critically Rated at 15/17

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Kettle Brand Sweet Onion

First off, these are not krinkled like the better Kettle chips. That’s a few points lost right there. And it loses a few more points for the unusual taste. I didn’t know that sweet onion was a desirable flavor for a potato chip. I didn’t know that people were demanding a chip that was reminiscent of sweet onions. It seems like it would be weird tasting. And so I tried it, and it is weird tasting. It tastes vaguely of sweet onions I guess, and so if you like sweet onions and want to taste a potato chip that tastes like that, you might like these chips. Maybe.

Critically Rated at 7/17

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