Tag Archives: shirt

Misbuttoning Your Shirt

You have a job interview or a date or an important business meeting to go to and you want to look your best. You put on a fancy collared shirt in an attempt to make a good impression. But you made a mistake in buttoning up and your shirt is not aligned correctly. You tried to look nice but you failed. You look like a slob. You look like an incompetent boob that’s incapable of buttoning up your own shirt. And you have to admit that it’s a little bit true. Misbuttoning your shirt is a mistake that we all make at some point or another. It’s the fashion equivalent of having shit in your teeth all day. Hopefully you realize it before you leave the house, but chances are you won’t have any idea until somebody else points it out to you in a condescending manner.

Critically Rated at 7/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

lowestoft_buttoning-shirt-d_jan-09

Leave a comment

Filed under Random Rants

An Annoying Tag

Everyone has at least on shirt in their wardrobe that looks great and fits great but it has an annoying tag. The tag will either pop out of your shirt or constantly be rubbing against the back of your neck until your neck is chafed and irritated. An annoying tag can ruin the whole shirt. The only way to deal with an annoying tag is to cut it off. But that won’t solve the problem because the universe wants you to be uncomfortable and another shirt will develop a problematic tag to annoy you. You can’t win. Don’t try. You just have to be miserable.

Critically Rated at 6/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

191211826_2226fa646e_o

Leave a comment

Filed under Random Rants

A Hole in Your Favorite Shirt

It’s a sad day when you find a hole in your favorite shirt. Your favorite shirt almost becomes a part of you. It’s comfortable and it fits well and it makes you look cool and it makes you feel good. You’ve worn it to parties, to dinners, on vacations, on dates, and you always managed to keep in clean and pristine. But time has a way of slogging on, and eventually the wear and tear will be too much to bear and a hole will form. You don’t have to throw it away. You can still wear it around the house, but you have to retire it from public appearances. When your favorite shirt gets demoted, another gets promoted. And even though you’ll miss the old one, your new shirt will eventually win your heart, and you’ll eventually create a new bunch of memories with your new favorite.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

Leave a comment

Filed under Random Rants

Using a Shirt as a Seat Cover

Some people are fond of using an old T-shirt as a seat cover in their car. Some people need to stop doing that. The only thing that you should use as a seat cover is an actual seat cover. A T-shirt seat cover freaks me out. I always notice it out of the corner of my eye, and I think that there’s somebody just sitting in the car watching me and waiting for the perfect moment to strike. There’s no reason to use a shirt as a seat cover. You might think that you’re being artsy and resourceful, everyone else thinks that you’re tacky and cheap. And they are right. It’s a great way to bring down the retail value of a car. Imagine a brand new red Ferrari, straight off the lot. Now imagine that same Ferrari, but with a ratty old shirt as a seat cover. It goes from being an awesome car to a being a joke. It’s social suicide and it needs to stop. Make sure everyone gets the memo.

Critically Rated at 5/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

Leave a comment

Filed under Random Rants

Mustard Stain

I like mustard but it doesn’t like me. It’s always trying to escape from my sandwich and attack my shirt. It usually succeeds too. You can tell whenever I had a sandwich or a hot dog for lunch by the enormous mustard stain on my shirt. It’s always mustard too. I don’t have these problems with mayo or ketchup or any other condiment. Mustard just has it in for me. Oh well, I’d rather have a mustard stain on my shirt than Sriracha is my eye.

Critically Rated at 5/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

Leave a comment

Filed under Snacks

Taking a Picture of Your Shirt in the Mirror

You’re checking Facebook and surfing through all the bullshit events, check ins, status updates, and picture uploads when you notice a picture of your friend modeling a new shirt. She makes a caption about her new shirt and how lucky she was to find it while shopping. But she took the picture in the mirror and it’s backwards. And she looks like a fucking idiot because everything is reversed. I’m glad that you got a new shirt. But I’m amazed that you took the time to pose and focus and adjust the flash and crop the photo and update it as your profile pic, all without noticing that the image is reversed. There’s no excuse for that level of ignorance. Most smartphones have a front and rear facing camera so you don’t need to rely on mirrors to take a self-portrait. You can flip the image on your phone or computer even if it’s backwards. There’s no reason to post anything backwards. But it still happens all the fucking time. I’ve started deleting people from my Facebook for these offenses, and I always make sure to send them a message to let them know how much they suck at life and why they deserve to die an early and painful death. I shouldn’t have to hold my phone up to a mirror to see what your stupid shirt says.

Critically Rated at 3/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

IMG_1218

1 Comment

Filed under Random Rants