Tag Archives: messy

Wet Naps

You’re at your favorite BBQ joint eating ribs, and you’re getting barbeque sauce all over the place because ribs are messy and you’re a slob. It’s always a good idea to grab a few extra napkins to keep the mess contained, but at the end of your meal you’re going to need a wet nap. A wet nap can also be called a wet wipe or a moist towelette. It’s an individually wrapped piece of moistened cloth or paper used for wiping barbecue sauce and fried chicken grease off your hands when you’re done eating. You use them after the meal, never before. If your hands are dirty before the meal, then wash fucking wash them in the fucking sink with fucking soap and fucking hot water. Wet naps are like a dinner mint: you only get them when you go out to eat, you only get them at the end of the meal, and your server is only going to give you one. It’s the perfect way to wrap up a messy meal.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filed under Random Rants

Mustard Stain

I like mustard but it doesn’t like me. It’s always trying to escape from my sandwich and attack my shirt. It usually succeeds too. You can tell whenever I had a sandwich or a hot dog for lunch by the enormous mustard stain on my shirt. It’s always mustard too. I don’t have these problems with mayo or ketchup or any other condiment. Mustard just has it in for me. Oh well, I’d rather have a mustard stain on my shirt than Sriracha is my eye.

Critically Rated at 5/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filed under Snacks