Tag Archives: hot dog

Drunk Food

 One of the best things about getting drunk is getting drunk food. Drunk food is a complete meal you can eat with your hands that fills you up and is served quickly. Certain foods taste better when you’re inebriated. Pizza is always good, but it’s so much better when you’re drunk. A drunk burrito in between bars keeps your night going. Stumbling across a street vendor selling bacon-wrapped hot dogs will make you believe that God is real and wants us to be happy. Drunk food provides you with the much needed fuel to keep on drinking. It makes the party last longer. You know you had a good night when you find an empty pizza box on the counter when you wake up the next morning and no recollection of getting it. I’m not promoting binge drinking, I’m promoting eating food when you’re binge drinking. There’s a slight difference I’m sure. 

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Corn Dog

A corn dog is a hot dog covered with cornbread on a stick. It’s probably my favorite food on a stick. They are associated with county fairs, baseball games, and evenings at the circus. They taste like America, like freedom on a stick. They are best served deep fried, but even nuking one in the microwave is good enough to combat the munchies. My roommate offered me a leftover box of frozen corn dogs that she was never going to eat. I accepted that offer and I accepted it gladly. A box of free corn dogs goes a long way, especially in today’s economy. You can have one corn dog for a snack or have three for a meal. I’m doing the latter right now. Writing about corn dogs is fun. Eating them is even better.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Ketchup on Hot Dogs

I grew up in a magical land called California, a place where it is considered normal to put ketchup on hot dogs. I only found out a few years ago that this addition is considered blasphemy to the frankfurter community at large. Mustard is the only truly acceptable condiment allowed, and that relish, onions, and sauerkraut are all welcome additions before ketchup can even be considered. It’s somewhat disheartening to find out that I’ve been eating hot dogs wrong my whole life but I refuse to change. Not only do hot dogs taste better with ketchup, they taste hella better if you’re from Northern California like me. If you want to limit your palate with only mustard, that’s fine. It just means that there’s more ketchup for me.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Dr. Stein’s Bagel Dog

I don’t know what kind of degree Dr. Stein has, but he makes the quintessential bagel dog. A bagel dog is a hot dog encased in bagel bread. Kinda like a corn dog, but without the stick and bagel dough instead of cornbread. Dr. Stein’s Bagel Dog is all beef and certified kosher for all you hot dog loving Jews out there. It’s microwavable but it tastes better when you cook it in the oven. Here’s your random bagel dog fact of the day: Dr. Stein’s Bagel Dogs have a Facebook and Twitter account but they don’t have an entry on Wikipedia. That’s kind of creepy in this digital world we’re living in. If you’re not on Wikipedia, than you don’t exist.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Mustard Stain

I like mustard but it doesn’t like me. It’s always trying to escape from my sandwich and attack my shirt. It usually succeeds too. You can tell whenever I had a sandwich or a hot dog for lunch by the enormous mustard stain on my shirt. It’s always mustard too. I don’t have these problems with mayo or ketchup or any other condiment. Mustard just has it in for me. Oh well, I’d rather have a mustard stain on my shirt than Sriracha is my eye.

Critically Rated at 5/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Corn Dogs

Corn dogs are my personal favorite deep-fried food on a stick. I think that a lot of people are with me on this one. Hot dogs are good, cornbread is good, combine the two and shove a stick in it, add some mustard and you are good to go. Some people don’t like corn dogs. Some people had a shitty childhood. Corn dogs remind me of carnivals and fairs and summertime. Comfort food is good. Comfort food on a stick is even better.

Critically Rated at 13/17

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