Tag Archives: faucet

Don’t Offend the Plumber

I was at my friend’s house the other day and I was feeling parched so I asked him if I could grab a glass of water. He handed me a glass, I took it, and I went over to the sink. I turned on the faucet, filled my glass, and took a sip. It was warm. I dumped it out, filled up my glass again, and took another sip. It was even hotter. I dumped it out, double-checked the faucet and made sure that it was on the cold side, filled up my glass again, and took another sip. It was scalding hot. That’s when I realized that the hot and cold were switched. If I wanted cold water, I had to go turn it to the hot side. I asked my friend why it was reversed. He shook his head and told me the story of how he once accidently insulted a plumber that was fixing a leak. The plumber got offended and switched the hot and cold water out of spite. It’s been like that ever since. The moral of the story is don’t offend the plumber. He can fuck with your pipes and fuck with your mind.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Turning on the Faucet When You’re Taking a Shit

You ate some bad seafood and it’s not agreeing with your stomach. You run down the hall to the bathroom and make it just before your bowels erupt. You’re a little embarrassed because it’s coming out fast and it’s coming out furious. You turn on the sink to try to drown out the noise. It masks the sound slightly, but turning on the faucet when you’re taking a shit is unnecessary. Everyone already knows that you’re pooping. The sound of running water isn’t fooling anyone and it doesn’t do anything to hide the stench. It just gives you a little piece of mind and makes you less self-conscious about your bowel movements. It also reminds you to wash your hands when you finish.

Critically Rated at 5/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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