Tag Archives: torture

Cold Showers

People like being clean and taking showers helps people get clean. There are two main types of showers: hot or cold. Hot showers are the normal choice for normal people. They like water so hot it scalds their skin and fogs up the mirror. It’s warm, it’s inviting, it feels so right. Then there are cold showers. Most people regard cold showers as a form of torture or a sign that you need a new hot water heater. But some people actually like cold showers. They say a cold shower is refreshing, that it wakes them up. I think getting drenched with ice-cold water would be a lousy way to start the day. But it’s cool if you’re into that sort of thing; it just means there’s more hot water for me.

Critically Rated at 6/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filed under Random Rants

Listening to Someone Eat

Have you ever had the displeasure of listening to someone eat when you’re not eating? It’s a form of torture. You’re in a quiet room with one other person and all you can hear is them eating. It’s subtle at first, but the constant lip smacking, soft grunts, and heavy nasal breathing are getting louder and louder and more and more disgusting. He sounds like a troll as he sinks he teeth into his sandwich and the sickening sounds of sloppy mastication makes you get up and leave the room. You know he’s not trying to be rude, but he’s making you lose your appetite as he satisfies his. And you would be totally justified in stabbing him in the throat with a fork.  Listening to someone eat is like hearing your parents have sex. You know that it happens, you just don’t want to be there when it does.

Critically Rated at 6/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filed under Snacks