Tag Archives: name

November 3, 2016 · 7:20 pm

Name Tag

Everybody at my work knows who I am. It’s not because I’m a hard worker, lord no. It’s because I have to wear a name tag. A name tag is a sticker or badge that has your name on it. You slap it in your chest and suddenly other people know who you are. You typically see them at the workplace, orientations, or socially awkward parties. I think name tags should be standard. You would never have to introduce yourself again. You’ll never forget someone’s name again. You can point to your tag if someone pronounces your name wrong and ask them to try again. Yup, name tags are pretty sweet. I’d wear one even if I wasn’t required to.

Critically Rated at 10/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

Leave a comment

Filed under Random Rants

Tagged as , ,

February 23, 2015 · 12:59 pm

Wrong Name

Calling someone by the wrong name is one of the worst things that you can do. It makes you look like a dick and feel like an asshole. You’re telling the other person that they aren’t important enough to remember, or that they remind you of someone else who you would prefer to be talking to. I’ve been on both ends of the situation. I don’t mind being the victim. I just correct them, laugh it off, and forget about it. It’s much worse to be the guy who does it. It can lead to trouble. Ever call a girl the wrong name? It leads to crying, arguments, and never any sex. Ever confuse a set of twins and say the wrong twin’s name? It doesn’t matter if it was an accident if you’ve known them for years. You said the wrong name. You are a terrible person. Don’t say the wrong name. Definitely don’t say it more than once.

Critically Rated at 4/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

Leave a comment

Filed under Random Rants

Tagged as , , ,

January 21, 2015 · 12:56 pm

Someone with a Famous Name

I know George Romero. Correction, I know a George Romero. He didn’t direct all those zombie flicks, he just happens to be named George Romero. Everyone knows someone with a famous name. I’m sure you have a friend with the same moniker as a celebrity. You should take advantage of it. Try namedropping and you’ll see how much easier it is to get reservations at a restaurant or to get a table at the club. Feign ignorance if the managers or security gives you shit for it. I said “Zack Efron,” not “Zac Efron.” I can see how you’d be confused, but it’s not my fault my name got famous. It’s still your table even if you duped them into it. Don’t feel too bad.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

8d9194c1491751e700ce18924c19bee1121ed9fd168795aa2ecedd1676f0900d

Leave a comment

Filed under People I Feel Sorry For, Random Rants

Tagged as , , , ,

October 24, 2014 · 11:24 pm

Luggage Tag

A luggage tag is a tag for your luggage that contains your personal information in case your bag gets lost. It should have your first and last name, your address, and your phone number. You don’t need to put all your personal information on it, especially not your social security or PIN number. Don’t get carried away. You just want your bag to get returned, not have your identity stolen. Luggage tags are often given away by corporations as a form of advertising because they want their brand and logo to be seen in airports around the world. You should never buy something if you can get it for free. And who really wants to waste money on a luggage tag? I’d rather buy a soda and a pack of Skittles. Or stamps. Or a little key chain that lights up. You can make your own luggage tag with a Post-it note and some Scotch Tape.

Critically Rated at 6/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

imgres

Leave a comment

Filed under Random Rants

Tagged as , , , , , ,

May 31, 2014 · 10:03 am

Facebook Name Changers

It seems like every couple of weeks one of my friends on Facebook changes their name for some reason or other. Those Facebook name changers make my newsfeed a lot more interesting. I’ll check my FB when I wake up and see a name that I don’t recognize. It makes me wonder if I was drunkenly adding people the night before. Then I click on their link and realize that it’s an old friend trying to mix things up. I don’t get it. If Facebook is getting boring, then change your profile picture. You don’t need to change your name. That’s just going to confuse everybody. Nobody wants to be confused. They want to be in control. But you can’t control Facebook name changers. You can only bitch about them and wonder why they did this to you. Or you can blog about it. That’s what I did. Or you can read a blog about it. That’s what you did.

Critically Rated at 10/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

fail-caterina-fake

Leave a comment

Filed under Random Rants

Tagged as , , ,

May 28, 2014 · 9:02 am

Naming a Pet

Naming a pet is an art form. Sometimes you can have a name already in your head, and you’re lucky that it fits when you finally pick up your new puppy. But the best way to name a pet is to have it for a few days before selecting a name that matches its personality. A few years ago my family got a new dog. He was an overly friendly and playful Black Lab/Bernese Mountain Dog mix. We spent four days watching him sleep, eat, and play. One of us would come up with a name and we would test it out, but nothing was clicking. We went through hundreds, maybe thousands of names that we all systematically rejected before I glanced over at our DVD collection, saw Star Wars, and suggested Chewbacca. My sisters screamed back, “CHEWY!” and the dog got its name. It probably helped that he was munching on a shoe at the time. He earned his name. He deserved his name. And he lived up to his name. Not all pets are so lucky. I have a friend who adopted a chubby Chihuahua named Meatball and she renamed him Cooper. That poor pup now has the most ill-fitting name of all time. If that’s not animal abuse, I don’t know what is.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

hero

Leave a comment

Filed under Random Rants

Tagged as , , , , ,

September 13, 2013 · 8:55 pm

Nickname

A nickname is an alternative/casual name for a person, place, or pet. Some people use generic nicknames: Robert will go by Bob. Richard will go by Rick or Dick. William becomes Will, Bill, Willy, or Billy. Those are cliché nicknames that don’t have any real meaning. A real nickname is something that you earn. It’s a badge of honor. Not everybody gets one. Some people get stuck with bad nicknames that become impossible to escape. My friend shat himself at a high school party and is still known as The Party Pooper almost ten years later. But a good nickname is a sign of endearment. If someone creates a good nickname for you, you should embrace it and consider yourself lucky. A good nickname can also double as an inside joke, and you can reminisce and reflect about how you got your nickname every time somebody says it. It’s like a bonding experience. I recently went on a trip to Vegas with a few friends, and we all came back with new nicknames for each other. You can’t force a nickname. The best nicknames are spur of the moment creations and are completely spontaneous. But they will last for a lifetime if they fit your personality.

Critically Rated at 16/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

Leave a comment

Filed under Random Rants

Tagged as , , , , , , , ,

February 22, 2013 · 6:20 am

Forgetting Somebody’s Name

You’re at a small party and you’re enjoying yourself, making small talk and shooting the shit, and a new person enters the conversation. He looks familiar, you know that you’ve met him a few times before, but you can’t remember his name and you know that you should. It’s something like Arthur or Ben or Dan, something boring like that, but you can’t be sure. Forgetting somebody’s name is inevitable, you meet a lot of people and a lot of people are forgettable. But you seem like a jerk when they remember your name and you can’t remember theirs. You can always resort to calling them friendly nicknames like “Buddy” or “Guy” or something. Sometimes you’ll be hanging out with a friend and bump into a forgotten acquaintance, and have to stumble your way through an awkward introduction. Hopefully your friend will introduce himself before you have to admit you forgot the other guy existed. Forgetting somebody’s name is still better than pronouncing a name wrong though.

Critically Rated at 8/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

Leave a comment

Filed under Random Rants

Tagged as , , , , ,

November 23, 2012 · 10:33 am

Marissa and Marlena

To anyone named Marissa or Marlena: I’m sorry that I’m about to ruin your name forever. Imagine you have a newborn baby girl, fresh out of the oven. You gotta have a name for her. Marissa seems like such a nice name, a sweet name, and a safe name. Until the day that you realize that “Marissa” backwards is “Assiram”. Ass I Ram. Marlena is another name with an unfortunate reversal. It becomes “Anelram” and that’s pretty close to “Anal Ram.” If you know anyone with a less than desirable reverse name, take advantage of the situation and make them cry. Bullying is fun and acceptable in today’s society.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

Leave a comment

Filed under People I Feel Sorry For

Tagged as , , , , ,