Tag Archives: moving

Driving with a Mattress Strapped to the Roof

You don’t know true fear until you’ve gone driving with a mattress strapped to the roof. I was unlucky enough to experience this last week. I had to move my mattress and bed frame six miles across town. It wasn’t easy. I used bungie cords to hold the mattress and frame together, then I tied it to the roof of my friend’s SUV. We mostly drove along surface streets but there was a two-mile stretch on the highway and it was a particularly windy day. It was terrifying. I felt compelled to lean out the window and hold it down with one hand while steering the car with the other. It was not fun and my arm went numb. I felt bad for the guy stuck behind me. He looked even more scared than I was. I made it to my destination with everything in tact, but I gained a few new gray hairs in the process. Driving with a mattress strapped to the roof sucks. Next time I think I will splurge for the U-haul.

Critically Rated at 3/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

  

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Helping a Friend Move

Helping a friend move is a big step in any relationship. Not too many people are willing to sacrifice a Saturday to help you haul cardboard boxes around. But if you find a friend that’s willing to help you move, you know you’ve found a true friend. And you should reward him for his services. You don’t have to give him money, but you should give him beer or something as a way of saying thank you. That way it will be more like you’re hanging out and you won’t feel as guilty about taking advantage of the free labor. It’s also a bonding experience. Lugging a big screen TV down a flight of stairs is like living in a dorm together. You quickly discover each other’s flaws and true personalities, and there’s a sense of pride and accomplishment if you get through the ordeal without killing each other. You can’t call it a successful life if you’ve never helped a friend move. It’s not glamorous, but it’s fulfilling.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Blocking the Escalator

Go to any major city and observe how people move up and down the subway escalators. Both the up and down escalators are divided into two lanes. One lane is for the leisurely and feeble who stand stationary. The other one is the passing lane for the people who have somewhere to be or are impatient. They walk or run up the passing lane. Don’t block the moving lane. If you want to stand, stand on the designated standing side. Blocking the escalator during rush hour could get you killed, especially in New York. Don’t be that idiot blocking the escalator. Take your head out of your ass and pay attention to what everyone else is doing. And get the fuck out of my way.

Critically Rated at 6/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Saying Goodbye

If you’re living your life right, you’ve probably met a few people. You might have even formed friendships or had relationships with some of them. But life has a way of plodding along. Things change and people move away. You have to make the most out of the time that you have together, because the good times won’t last forever. Inevitably, you’ll end up saying goodbye to someone that you don’t want to leave. It sucks, it hurts, and it’s sad having to say goodbye. But that’s life and you can’t stop living. The only good thing about goodbyes is that you have another excuse to get drunk.

Critically Rated at 3/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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