Tag Archives: chewy

Nougat

I was having a lengthy discussion about candy bars with my roommate (we may or may not have had the munchies) when I discovered that he didn’t know what nougat was. I was kind of shocked. Nougat is an essential ingredient in a lot of great candy bars. Snickers has nougat. Baby Ruth has nougat. Big Hunk has nougat. LOOK! has nougat. Mars bar has nougat. Milky Way has nougat. And somehow nougat is still overlooked and underrated. It deserves more attention and affection. So I decided to blog about it to help get the word out.

Nougat is a chewy confection made with roasted nuts and sugar or honey. There are a few different types of nougat. There is white nougat, brown nougat, and German/Viennese nougat. They are all made differently but I’m not going to tell you the differences between them. Stop being lazy and do your own research on nougat if you’re so fascinated by it. Anyway, a long time ago somebody discovered that nougat tasted good and they decided to combine it with chocolate and the world was changed for the better. Nobody knows who originally combined the two, so I’m just going to give credit to the Pope. You can decide which one.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Salt Water Taffy

Salt water taffy is a type of chewy candy. I don’t know why it’s called salt water taffy. There’s no salt water in it. It’s kind of weird to lie about something as trivial as that. Anyway, salt water taffy comes in a variety of flavors, but it’s impossible to tell what those flavors are. Some of them are fruity but I couldn’t tell you which fruit it’s trying to emulate. Salt water taffy’s biggest competition comes from Laffy Taffy, but salt water taffy doesn’t need to resort to cheap gimmicks like putting lame jokes on the label to sell in units. Salt water taffy has been around for over a hundred years; it’s not going away anytime soon.

Critically Rated at 8/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi

Luke Skywalker and his friends are back in the conclusion to the original trilogy. Lawrence Kasdan and George Lucas wrote the screenplay and Richard Marquand directs. This was the last good Star Wars movie, even though the second half of the film kind of sucks. I blame the Ewoks. It’s pretty obvious they were just included to sell toys and appeal to kids. They are the Jar Jar Binks of the original trilogy, only without being blatantly racist and overly annoying.

            The film opens with the dramatic rescue of Han Solo from Jabba the Hutt, where Luke must use his Jedi skills to beat the bad guys and save his friends. There are quite a few iconic moments and characters in this part. There’s the Rancor, the Sarlacc, Jabba the Hutt, green pig guards, and Princess Leia in a gold bikini. It’s one of the best sequences in sci-fi cinema. Princess Leia in a gold bikini. Just reflect on that for a moment.

            The Rebel Alliance finds out that the Empire is building a new Death Star and that the Emperor himself is going to oversee the final preparations. The Rebels decide that this is their time to strike. They hatch a plan to destroy the shield generator on the forest moon of Endor, which will allow their star fleet to blow up the Death Star. But they don’t know that it’s a trap. It’s just one part of the Emperor’s plan to convert Luke to the Dark Side of the Force.

While Han, Leia, Chewy and the gay robots are busy playing with teddy bears, Lando is leading the aerial assault on the Empire, and Luke is dealing with his Darth Vader daddy issues. Needless to say, all the conflicts get resolved, most of the loose ends are tied up, and the story ends with our heroes celebrating their victory.

            It’s a pretty satisfying ending to the original trilogy. It’s not as good as A New Hope or The Empire Strikes Back, but it’s a million times better than the prequel trilogy. George Lucas keeps on tweaking this movie and now Hayden Christensen is in it at the end. I wish I still had a VCR so I could watch the real movie again.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Hi-Chew

Hi-Chew is a Japanese candy and they are delicious. It’s a fruity, chewy candy and each one is individually wrapped like Starbursts or Mambas, but they seem juicier. They have a few flavors, I’ve tried Banana, Grape, Strawberry, Mango, but there’s a lot more. Did I mention that they are delicious? Because they are. If you like fruit flavored confectionary treats, give these a shot. Just be careful, because if you buy a pack and someone sees it, you’re gonna have to share.

Critically Rated at 14/17

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