Tag Archives: etiquette

Bathroom Line

I was just at my regular dive bar of choice after a stressful Friday at work. I had a quick round, paid out, and had to use the bathroom before I headed home. My bar isn’t usually too crowded, but it’s Fleet Week so the place was packed. I could see the two single-person bathrooms from where I was sitting and noticed there were three women chatting amongst themselves in front of the bathrooms. One of the bathrooms opened up one of the three women went in. A minute or two later she came back out and rejoined her conversation with her two friends. I got up, picked up my bag and things, and walked to the vacant bathroom and opened the door. And then the lady who just used the bathroom snapped at me and yelled that there was a line for the bathroom.

I blinked at her.

“She’s in line!” She slurred, pointing around one of her friends.

I said “OK”, stepped back, and let her friend go ahead of me. Then I turned back to the instigator and said my piece. Not sure of the exact phrasing but it was something like: “Just so you know, I was sitting down over there. I saw you three standing here and talking. I saw you use the bathroom. I saw you come out of the bathroom. Nobody else made a move for the bathroom. I got up, gathered my things and walked over here. I opened the door to the bathroom, and then you yelled at me that there was a line. If there was a line, she would have gone into the bathroom as soon as it opened up. That’s how bathrooms lines work. You didn’t have to yell and you didn’t have to be rude.”

I was pretty articulate about my points and my reasons were pretty valid. Her only retort was something about me not having thick skin. I guess I don’t. But I have to be nice to rude people all day at work, so I’m not going to take any bullshit when I’m off the clock.

I’m not a line cutter. There was no line. I’ll believe that until my heart stops beating and I take my final breath.

Another guy came up and tried to open the door to the other bathroom. I had to tell him that there’s a line and a line monitor and he needed approval from her. I’m petty, I know. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Double Dipping

Double dipping is a cardinal sin and should be treated as such. You’ll see somebody grab a chip, dip it in the salsa, and then take a bite. Then you’ll see them dip the chip again with the part that was in their mouth. They are essentially spitting into the salsa even though they deny it. Double dipping is not condoned, but there is a right way to do it. After your initial bite, you simply have to turn the chip 180 degrees and use the sanitary part to get more dip. Then you can dip your half-chewed chip without contaminating the rest of the dip. There you go, you get two dips with one chip without tainting the dip for everyone else. There’s really no excuse for double dipping. It’s gross, it’s rude, it’s lazy, and it’s beyond inconsiderate. I don’t want to taste your spit; I just want to enjoy the guacamole. You shouldn’t share with other people if you don’t have any etiquette.

Critically Rated at 5/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filed under Snacks

Holding the Door Open

Holding the door open for other people is good etiquette. If you’re the first one in your group to reach the restaurant, you should hold open the door and let your friends in first. If you’re a guy trying to impress a girl, holding open the door is a surefire way to get in her pants. Chicks dig chivalry. Holding the door open for strangers is polite and good karma. The other night I was waiting for my train in the subway and heard a guy asking for someone to hold the door. I looked up and saw a homeless guy in a wheelchair pushing himself along with his feet at a steady 3mph pleading for someone to stop the train. I got up and blocked the doors from closing two or three times. An annoyed lady yelled at me to stop blocking them. I just gave her a dirty look and smirked when her jaw dropped as his crippled ass rolled into view. His wheels got stuck in the gap between the platform and the train, so I had to grab the handles and tilt him back and a random passenger jumped up to help. We worked together and finally got him onto the train, then I stepped back and I heard the formerly rude lady yell out, “Thank you!” as the doors closed. I didn’t help because I wanted brownie points from a crowd full of strangers; I just held the door open because that’s what you’re supposed to do. It’s a nice, simple way to make someone else’s life a little easier.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Courtesy Wave

There are a lot of aggressive drivers on the road these days. You see a lot of people cutting off other cars, following too closely, neglecting their turn signals, and planting the seeds for a road rage tree. There are a lot of dick moves that you can pull that will piss off other drivers. If you cut someone off or almost crash into them, you can erase the tension with a simple courtesy wave. The courtesy wave is an easy way to say sorry for being an asshole or show your appreciation for an act of kindness. That simple hand gesture can save your life, especially if you’re driving in Los Angeles. If someone lets you back out of parking spot during rush hour, you better give them a courtesy wave. The courtesy wave is not an excuse to drive like an asshole, it’s a way to let other drivers know you’re sorry for driving like one.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filed under Random Rants