Tag Archives: alarm

People Who Always Sleep Through Their Alarms

I know a few people that can sleep through anything, including their alarm clocks in the morning. The alarm will go off and they won’t even notice. It will keep blasting and blaring until someone else snaps and wakes them up. I had quite a few roommates that were deaf to their alarms. I remember one who was downright terrible about it. His alarm would go off and would be going for ten minutes straight. It was super loud too. I was able to hear it through in my room down the hallway with the door closed. He would lie right next to it completely oblivious. I used to wake him up until I got sick of it after a few weeks. I started unplugging his alarm clock and let him sleep through and miss whatever event he set his alarm for. I wasn’t going to fall victim to his alarm clock every morning. What the fuck is the point of setting an alarm if you’re just going to ignore it? Why should others have to suffer? Especially that early in the morning before I’ve had my coffee. It’s not right. If you don’t deserve an alarm, please don’t set one. Hashtag, just sayin’.

Critically Rated at 5/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Setting Your Alarm for the Wrong Time

I don’t have a fixed schedule, so my wakeup times are always changing. Some days I can sleep in, some days I have to wake up at 9:30, other days at 8:15, and sometimes I’ll set my alarm for 9:00. There’s a danger in having so many different wakeup times… sometimes I’ll set the alarm for the wrong time. It’s not that bad if I wake up early, but it sucks if I set it for a later time. Then I might as well have not even set it in the first place. I still woke up late and I’m still fucked. The worst thing is that I didn’t forget to set it. I just didn’t do it right. I failed. Because I’m an idiot. Setting your alarm for the wrong time is one of those stupid things that everyone does at least once in their lifetime. Too bad your boss won’t accept it as a valid excuse for being late.

Critically Rated at 4/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Hijacking Your Roommate’s Alarm Clock

My roommate has a habit of ignoring his alarm clock and repeatedly hitting the snooze button. It’s loud enough to wake me up, and it keeps going off whenever I start to fall back asleep. I used to get mad when it went off, so I would get up and bang on his door. But he never learned his lesson. So now I hijack his alarm clock… instead of waking him up, I will just take over the bathroom. His shit is loud enough to wake me up, but if he doesn’t want to get up then he doesn’t deserve bathroom privileges. I’ll take a leisurely shit, enjoy a nice long shower, I’ll brush my teeth, I’ll shave, I’ll Q-tip my ears, and I will take my time in doing so. It’s better than tossing and turning and trying to get another fifteen minutes of sleep before he turns off his alarm. Hijacking your roommate’s alarm clock might cause some animosity, but it will save your sanity.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Someone Else’s Alarm Clock

The only thing more annoying than hearing your alarm clock going off is hearing someone else’s alarm clock going off. Now you’re awake when you could have been sleeping for six and a half more minutes. Your day is all downhill from here. The universal law about other people’s alarm clocks is that they never seem to hear them. They just keep hitting snooze so their alarm keeps going off. And it keeps waking you up while they keep on sleeping. What’s the point of setting your alarm if you constantly ignore it? You shouldn’t use an alarm clock if it doesn’t wake you up. You’re wasting electricity and making enemies.

Critically Rated at 6/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Not Setting Your Alarm But Still Waking Up On Time

It’s late and you’re tired. It’s a miracle you even made it home. You somehow find your bed and fall in, closing your eyes and immediately are asleep. You wake up a few hours later. It’s a few minutes before you have to wake up, and it’s a good thing you came to when you did, because you forgot to set your alarm, you forgot to plug in your phone, and you would have been fucked. But you’re not. Not setting your alarm but still waking up on time means that your muscle memory is more dependable than your mental memory. Your brain will screw you over, but your body won’t let that happen.

Critically Rated at15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Car Alarms

Car alarms suck. There’s no such thing as absolute silence in a city because there’s always at least one car alarm going off somewhere. It’s such a common event that nobody even pays attention anymore. When’s the last time you heard a car alarm and jumped out of your seat and ran to the window to catch a thief in the act?  You just ignore it. Fuck crime fighting.

            Most of the time it’s not even from anyone trying to steal anything, it’s usually a dickhole with a kickass sound system bumping shitty rap. The only time I enjoy car alarms is when I see somebody realize that it’s their car alarm going off. They get that Oh-Shit-I’m-A-Douchebag look on their face as they grab their keys and run outside to stop the mayhem.

Critically Rated at 5/17

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Waking Up Early On Your Day Off

I typically work six days a week, meaning that I’ll only have one day off to relax. But I can’t relax because I usually have a bunch of neglected errands to run. At the very least, you should be able to sleep in on your day off, but sometimes you can’t. Sometimes you have to set your alarm because you have too much shit to do. Waking up early on your day off sucks. But you’re an adult now and you have to pretend to be responsible. Reality fucking blows. I’d rather sleep in.

Critically Rated at 3/17

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Waking Up Before Your Alarm Goes Off

There you are in Slumberland, dreaming of soft fluffy clouds and falling kittens, but then your damn alarm goes off and yanks you back to reality. Your peaceful dreams are destroyed by an annoying buzzing sound. Getting annoyed awake is a terrible way to start your day. Every once in a while I get lucky. My dream will end on it’s own accord and I start gradually waking up. I’ll open one eye and glance at the time, and notice I have a minute before that shit goes off. So I turn it off so I don’t have to hear it, and open my other eye. It feels great to start your day with a little victory like that. It’s great to wake up a few minutes before your alarm. It sucks when you wake up an hour or two before it goes off and you can’t get back to sleep though.

Critically Rated at 13/17

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