Tag Archives: microwavable

Hot Pockets Pepperoni Pizza

Hot Pockets Pepperoni Pizza is the frozen microwavable pizza pocket that you grew up with. It’s glob of melted cheese, grease, and meat with a terrible tasting dough holding it all together. The end result is a turnover that tastes somewhat similar to a slice of pizza. The filling will be hot enough to burn the roof of your mouth with one bite and will be ice cold with the next. There is no such thing as a perfectly cooked Hot Pocket. It simply can’t be done. Or so I thought. I was looking at my Hot Pocket wrapper and I noticed that there are instructions for cooking the Hot Pocket in the oven, so I tried baking it instead of nuking it. It takes about 28 minutes to cook in the oven (not including preheating) and that’s a ridiculously long time to wait for a fucking Hot Pocket… but the filling was consistently hot throughout, the crust was nice and crunchy, it was as close to perfection as any Hot Pocket could be. But there’s not point using the oven to cook microwavable food. It defeats the purpose of buying microwavable food.

Critically Rated at 10/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Dr. Stein’s Bagel Dog

I don’t know what kind of degree Dr. Stein has, but he makes the quintessential bagel dog. A bagel dog is a hot dog encased in bagel bread. Kinda like a corn dog, but without the stick and bagel dough instead of cornbread. Dr. Stein’s Bagel Dog is all beef and certified kosher for all you hot dog loving Jews out there. It’s microwavable but it tastes better when you cook it in the oven. Here’s your random bagel dog fact of the day: Dr. Stein’s Bagel Dogs have a Facebook and Twitter account but they don’t have an entry on Wikipedia. That’s kind of creepy in this digital world we’re living in. If you’re not on Wikipedia, than you don’t exist.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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