Cribbage is a card game, one of the best card games in fact. All you need is a deck of cards, a cribbage board, cribbage pegs, and somebody to play with. It’s traditionally a two-person game, but you can play with more if necessary. There are a lot of rules and I tried writing them out but it was too instructional and not entertaining enough to keep anybody’s attention. I’m just going to talk about how cool the game is.
Cribbage is cool because there are multiple ways to score. You’re looking for runs, pairs, flushes, straights, and cards that add up to fifteen. You count the points in your hand, and you also play off the other person’s hand and can get more points that way. The dealer has an advantage because he gets an extra four cards in his crib so he can potentially get even more points. You can have a shitty hand but still make a lot of points by outplaying your opponent. Getting points from playing off your opponent’s hand is known as pegging. You’re trying to outpeg the other guy. I’m really good at pegging. I’ve dubbed myself the Pegasaurus. You can even play Muggins, where you steal points from your opponent if he forgets to count them.
You keep track of the score by moving your pegs around the cribbage board and the first player to get to a hundred and twenty-one points wins the game. Cribbage is usually played tournament style. You play to win two out of three games or five out of seven. If you lose by thirty points you got skunked. If you lose by sixty points you got double-skunked. It’s called skunked because you stink.
Cribbage is intimidating to learn. There are a lot of rules and there’s a lot of math. I wouldn’t recommend trying to learn while under the influence. After a while you start to see patterns and which cards work well together and you’ll be able to count your points at a glance. Cribbage is kind of an old person’s game too. Not many youngins know how to play it anymore, but I guarantee that your grandparents know how to play. They probably know all the cribbage lingo and sayings like, “Fifteen two, and the rest won’t do” and “Fifteen two, fifteen four, and the rest won’t score.” That’s right, cribbage has its own phrases. How intrigued are you now? I bet very. You should learn. I’ll teach you.
Critically Rated at 16/17
Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young