Category Archives: Drinks

Beer, soda, and other fun fluids you put in your mouth.

July 22, 2014 · 2:03 pm

Beer Goggles

I met a hot bartender the other night. At least I thought that I did. Beer goggles can really fuck with a person’s judgment. Beer goggles are a very real phenomenon. The more you drink, the more symmetrical a person’s face appears, and they become more attractive. It’s science, it’s a fact, and the results can be devastating. So anyway, about that supposedly hot bartender… she was blonde, she had a nice body, she was laughing at my lame jokes and giving me enough attention that I felt compelled to tip her twenty bucks and give her my number. I waited a few days and went back to see if she was working. She was, but she definitely didn’t look like I remembered. I wouldn’t say that she was ugly, but she wasn’t the stunner I thought she was when I was a few drinks in. It was disappointing to say the least. I had to drink a couple until she got hot again. It’s a vicious cycle.

Critically Rated at 5/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Tagged as beer, beer goggles, drinks, hot bartender

July 14, 2014 · 10:45 pm

Stone RuinTen IPA

RuinTen IPA is a summer release from Stone Brewing Co. It’s an American Double/Imperial IPA and was first released in 2012 to commemorate the tenth anniversary of their popular Ruination IPA, but it’s now been rereleased and renamed as RuinTen IPA and here we are now. It pours a dark copper color with an offwhite head. It’s a hoppy beer. It smells hoppy and it tastes hoppy, mostly citrus hops but some pine hops as well. There’s a malty backbone but it’s overwhelmed and overpowered by the aggressive hops. Did I mention that it’s hoppy? Because it is. It has a nice boozy finish, which is in thanks to it’s hefty 10.8% ABV. It’s a nice beer to relax with at the end of a long day.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Tagged as craft beer, IPA, micro brew, Ruination IPA, RuinTen IPA, stone brewing co, Stone RuinTen IPA

July 13, 2014 · 9:46 pm

Stone Stochasticity Project Quadrotriticale

California’s Stone Brewing Co. presents Quadrotriticale, another beer from their Stochasticity Project lineup. It’s a limited batch brewed only once, so once it’s gone, it’s gone. If you’re lucky enough to come across it, you should buy a couple of bottles. That’s what I did, and I’m glad I did because it’s a delicious Belgian style quadruple ale brewed with triticale grain. It pours a dark copper color with a thick head that slowly dissipates. It smells great. You definitely notice the Belgian yeast, as well as caramel, toasted bread, toffee, dark fruit, brown sugar, and a little banana. It tastes similar to how it smells. I get caramel, dark fruit, Belgian yeast, cloves, and grainy malts. It has a 9.3% ABV, but you can’t taste the booze. It’s a great dessert beer. Very enjoyable, although it makes me sad that this beer is only in existence for a short while.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Tagged as beer, limited batch, Quadrotriticale, Stochasticity Project, stone brewing co, Stone Stochasticity Project Quadrotriticale

June 25, 2014 · 12:43 am

Panty Peeler

Alaska’s Midnight Sun Brewing Co. presents Panty Peeler, a delicious Belgian-style Tripel with a delightfully raunchy name. It’s an ale brewed with orange peel and coriander and me likey mucho. It pours an orange-amber color with a white head that laces quickly. It smells of cloves, orange peel, Belgian yeast, coriander, and breaded malts. It tastes even better than it smells. I get bready malts, dark fruit, spice, orange peel, coriander, banana, and candied sugar. It’s extremely drinkable, I could sip on it all day. But I can’t because it has a hefty 8.5% ABV and the alcohol creeps up on you. I know that I said Chuli Stout was a great Alaskan beer, but this one is even better. Did I mention that me likey mucho?
Critically Rated at 15/17
Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Tagged as alaska, craft beer, midnight sun brewing co., panty peeler

June 23, 2014 · 9:25 pm

Chuli Stout

Chuli Stout is an Irish Dry Stout by Denali Brewing in Talkeetna, Alaska. It pours a rich black color with a nice creamy head. It has the nice roast and toast malt aroma as you’d expect from any decent stout. There’s chocolate and coffee notes as well. It has a nice malty flavor, lots of chocolate, some cream, and it has a bit of a spice compared to other Irish Dry Stouts. It’s very full flavored for only have a 5.9% ABV. Quality craft beer is available everywhere and Alaska has a lot of impressive offerings. This is one of the better ones.
Critically Rated at 15/17
Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Tagged as alaska, Chuli Stout, craft beer, stout

June 20, 2014 · 9:32 pm

Local Brew

One of the perks about traveling is trying new things, like a local brew that you’ve never heard of before. I was flying to Anchorage, Alaska the other day and I had a layover in Seattle. I went to the first airport bar I could find and asked for the best local brew on tap. The bartender poured me a Pike IPA. It’s wasn’t the the best beer in the world, but it was certainly enjoyable. And there’s no way that I would have ever tried it if I never asked about it. Asking for a local brew is a good way to sample the culture of the area you’re visiting. It’s a way to experience new things. And experiencing new things is what life is all about. It’s why we travel. It’s why we ask for a local brew. It’s how you win at life.
Critically Rated at 14/17
Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Tagged as beer, craft beer, local brew, micro brew

June 19, 2014 · 10:18 am

Stone Enjoy By 07.04.14

Enjoy By 07.04.14 is a once-in-a-lifetime Double IPA from California’s Stone Brewing Company. It pours a clear and bright amber color with a nice foamy head with nice retention. It smells amazing. Lots of floral, citrus, and pine hops with a little malt aroma. It tastes like what you want from a Double IPA. It’s extremely hoppy with a dry malty backbone. I taste pine, resin, citrus, orange peel, and pepper. It’s hard to believe that it has a 9.4% ABV. I feel like I could drink it all day, but I would probably pass out after the fourth one. This beer creeps up on you. Be cautious because this brew has the power to make or break your night.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Tagged as double IPA, Enjoy By 07.04.14, IPA, Stone Brewing Company

June 16, 2014 · 10:02 am

Slanted Cup Holders

I went to a baseball game the other day. I saw the Yankees take on the A’s at Oakland Coliseum. I’m not a fan of either team, but I am a fan of baseball and it was my last chance to see Derek Jeter play so I had to go. And I had to buy a beer of course. It’s not a ballgame without a beer. So I bought a ten-dollar pint of Bud Light, made my way to my seat, sat down, and put my beer in the cup holder on the back of the seat in front of me. The cup holder was installed at an angle. It was tilted enough to cause a couple of ounces of liquid gold to slosh down the side of the cup onto the ground. I couldn’t help but scowl. Beer is always precious, but ballpark beer is even more of a commodity. Each drop you spill hurts. You see dollar signs flash in front of your eyes. It’s bad enough to bump into someone and spill a little, but it really sucks when you make it safely back to your seat and the cup holder is the thing responsible for losing your beer. A cup holder is supposed to prevent your drink from spilling. A slanted cup holder defeats the whole point of drink protection. It’s like wearing sunglasses without any lenses. It’s a product that fails at the one thing it’s designed to do. But I’d rather lose my eyesight than lose any beer. Slanted cup holders must be stopped.

Critically Rated at 5/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Tagged as ballpark, baseball, beer, cup holder, cup holders, slanted cup holders

June 16, 2014 · 10:01 am

Java Monster Mean Bean

Java Monster Mean Bean is an energy drink infused with coffee. Or maybe it’s coffee infused with an energy drink. All I know for sure is that it wakes me up in the morning, it makes me shake, and I think I’m developing a heart murmur. It tastes like iced coffee with cream and an excessive amount of sugar. There is no way that this beverage is beneficial to your health, but I still can’t stop drinking it. I like it. Not as much as Red Bull or a regular cup of coffee, but it’s a nice way to mix things up in the morning. I’m not a big fan of Monster energy drinks, but this one is enjoyable. It’s not as good as a Starbucks Doubleshot Espresso, but it gets the job done.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Tagged as coffee, cream, energy drink, iced coffee, Java Monster, Mean Bean, monster, monster energy drinks, starbucks doubleshot espresso, sugar

June 1, 2014 · 5:32 pm

Hot Iced Tea

I have two little sisters who created their own drink when they were growing up. My family was the type of family that always had a pitcher of iced tea in the refrigerator. My sisters would pour a glass of iced tea and stick it in the microwave for a few minutes. They called it Hot Iced Tea. Not tea. Hot Iced Tea. And technically they were correct because it was a powdered iced tea mix that we got from Costco. It wasn’t regular tea that was iced and than reheated. It was an iced tea formula that was heated up. And so it was that my sisters created Hot Iced Tea, a delicious oxymoron that they’ve probably forgotten about. I’ll remind them about it the next time I see them. Maybe they can bring it back and start a new beverage trend.

Critically Rated at 10/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Tagged as hot iced tea, hot tea, iced tea, iced tea formula, iced tea mix, tea

June 1, 2014 · 5:31 pm

Spilling a Drink on Somebody

If you spend enough time in bars, eventually you’ll end up spilling a drink on somebody. That’s a big deal. It’s enough to start a fight. It’s enough to make Aaron Hernandez come after you. The most important thing about spilling a drink on somebody is how you react to it. Your reaction is key. If you spill a drink and are instantly remorseful, you are more likely to be forgiven. If you spill a drink and are casual about it, be prepared to offer to buy them a drink to make things right. If you spill a drink and laugh about it, shit has the potential to go down. It’s no use crying over spilled milk, but spilled booze gets people all worked up. If you spill a drink on somebody, you better own up to it. You should apologize and mean it, help them get cleaned up, and then buy them another drink. Try not to spill that one on them.

Critically Rated at 7/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Tagged as Aaron Hernandez, drink, spill, spilling, spilling a drink on somebody

May 26, 2014 · 10:02 am

Telescoping Your Beer

You’re chilling at a barbeque, sipping on a beer, and you notice that the bottle feels a little bit light. That’s when you have to telescope it. Telescoping your beer is when you pick up a beer bottle, tilt it, and look down the neck to see how much precious booze you have left. It looks like you’re looking into a telescope, when all you’re really trying to do is figure out if you have to get another beer or not. Here’s a tip for you: if you’re wondering if you need to get another beer, you probably do. Or maybe you should just quit drinking. But it’s easier to get another beer.

Critically Rated at 9/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Tagged as beer, beer bottle, bottle, telescope, telescoping your beer

May 25, 2014 · 2:16 pm

Bai 5 Brasilia Blueberry

Bai5 Brasilia Blueberry is a 100% natural superfruit infused, antioxidant packed beverage that is naturally sweetened and low in calories. It’s also naturally caffeinated because the superfruit that they use is coffeefruit. It doesn’t taste like coffee. It tastes like watered down blueberry juice. It tastes great and is quite refreshing. It’s a good way to start the day and it makes your hangover slightly more bearable. I would get it again, and I look forward to trying the other flavors in the Bai 5 lineup.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Tagged as Bai 5, blueberries, blueberry, Brasilia Blueberry, coffeefruit, superfruit

May 24, 2014 · 8:34 am

Sidral Mundet (soda)

Sidral Mundet is an apple-flavored soda from Mexico. It looks like cream soda and that what first caught my eye when I saw it at the store. I only noticed that it was artificially flavored apple soda when I picked it up for a closer look. I’ve had green apple-flavored soda before, but never apple-flavored so I had to buy it and try it. It smells like apple juice and it tastes like apple juice with carbonation. It’s reminiscent of non-alcoholic apple cider, but it tastes more crisp and clean. It’s good. I like it. Sidral Mundet is my new favorite apple soda. It could be yours too.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Tagged as apple juice, apple soda, apple-flavored, Sidral Mundet, soda

May 19, 2014 · 8:59 am

Hop Rod Rye (beer)

Hop Rod Rye is an American IPA from Bear Republic Brewing Co. Bear Republic is mostly known for Racer 5 and Red Rocket Ale, but Hop Rod Rye is gaining in popularity. It pours a dark copper color with a nice tan head. It smells of sweet malts and citrus hops with rye, grass, and floral notes. It tastes like it smells. I get lots of sweet malt, hops, orange peel, grapefruit, and maybe a little spice. It’s not that hoppy for an India Pale Ale and it makes my mouth happy. It has a decent 8.0% alcohol content, which is enough to make you sleepy before bedtime. This is a very enjoyable craft beer.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Tagged as American IPA, bear republic brewing co, Hop Rod Rye, india pale ale

May 16, 2014 · 9:58 am

Smoked Porter with Chipotle Peppers

Stone Brewing Co. presents Smoked Porter with Chipotle Peppers, a seasonal summer American Porter brewed with real chipotle peppers. It pours a dark brown, nearly black color, with a thick tan head. It has a rich malty aroma with hints of spicy peppers, chocolate, caramel, and smoke. The taste is of roasted malts, smoke, pine, and it starts sweet but then you get a spicy kick from the chipotle. I’ve had pepper infused beers before, but combining chipotle peppers with a smoky porter takes it to a whole new level. The chipotle is subtle yet still lingers on your tongue after each sip. It’s indescribably tasty. It’s has a 5.9% ABV, which is about average for a craft beer. But nothing else is average about this beer. You have to experience it for yourself. Do it. Now.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Tagged as American Porter, chipotle, chipotle peppers, craft beer, peppers, porter, Smoked Porter with Chipotle Peppers, spicy peppers, stone brewing co

May 14, 2014 · 12:41 pm

Beer on the Rocks

One time I was hanging out with my friend at his mom’s house and he offered me a drink. I never turn down free booze so I gladly accepted his offer. He handed me a warm bottle of Heineken and a glass filled with ice. I had no choice but to crack the brew and pour it into the glass. He got his own beer and glass with ice, we clinked our drinks together, and took a sip. It was crisp, cold, and refreshing. It was beer. Beer on the rocks. I didn’t mind the ice as much as I thought I would. If anything, the ice gave me more incentive to drink faster so it wouldn’t melt and water it down. I don’t think I’ll try it again though. I love cold beer, but ice in the glass isn’t the way to go. The next time I’ll take wrap a wet paper towel around the warm beer and stick it in the freezer for fifteen minutes. That’s the ideal life hack for this situation.

Critically Rated at 10/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Tagged as beer, beer on the rocks, heineken, ice