Category Archives: Drinks

Beer, soda, and other fun fluids you put in your mouth.

September 29, 2014 · 9:04 pm

Brisk Half & Half Blueberry Lemonade

I went to 7-Eleven with the munchies the other day and left with a six-pack of beer, some chips, and a bottle of Brisk Half & Half Blueberry Lemonade. It’s basically an Arnold Palmer, which is half iced tea and half lemonade, but with blueberry-flavored lemonade instead of regular lemonade. It’s blue in color with a little purple tint. It tastes alright, but it’s a little too much on the sweet side. It has a syrupy-candy flavor and is too sugary to be refreshing. It’s not healthy, nor does it pretend to be. It’s a fucking blue soda. There’s no way that it’s good for you. And it has the unfortunate side effect of turning your tongue blue. It makes you look like you blew a Smurf.

Critically Rated at 8/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Tagged as Arnald Palmer, blueberry, Brisk, Brisk Half & Half Blueberry Lemonade, Half & Half, iced tea, lemonade

September 27, 2014 · 6:55 pm

Chilled Pint Glass

I have an awesome roommate. She’s clean, respectful, she likes to cook and she makes extra for me to eat, and she always keeps a couple of pint glasses in the freezer. Nothing brings out the flavor of a beer like a chilled pint glass or a nice frosty mug after a long day at work. It’s hard to improve a quality craft brew, but pouring a bottle into a chilled pint glass is always a good start. You don’t want to drink from the bottle or a can anyway. Start keeping a few glasses in the freezer and experience beer the way you should. Be be forewarned, you can’t go back once you’ve start using chilled pint glasses. You wouldn’t want to anyway, but you are going to lose valuable freezer space.
Critically Rated at 14/17
Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Tagged as beer, chilled pint glass, cold, freezer, frosty mug

September 23, 2014 · 1:18 pm

Buying Someone a Drink

Buying someone a drink is a simple act of kindness that goes a long way. Buying a girl a drink could lead to a relationship.. Buying a stranger a drink makes you a new friend. Buying a friend a drink ensures he will pass on the favor someday. Buying a coworker a drink shows your appreciation for their helpThe other night my friend had a stressful shift, I caught up with him at the bar, noticed what he was drinking, and bought him another one when I got my drink. Did it pacify him? Slightly. Did he appreciate it? You betcha. And he reciprocated by buying another friend a drink, he instantly paid it forward. Good karma, good friends, and good times.
Critically Rated at 15/17
Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Tagged as bar, buying someone a drink, drink, friends

September 23, 2014 · 1:17 pm

Capri Sun

Capri a Sun is a brand of juice drink blends marketed towards children. You can find them in lunch boxes and picnic baskets and Lunchables across the US. They don’t taste amazing, they aren’t that healthy, but they are fun. They come in sealed pouches with a plastic straw. There’s a designated place near the top of the pouch for you to punch the straw through, but all the cool kids punch the straw through the bottom of the bag. It looks cool but it’s not practical because then you can’t set it down at all. Capri Suns haven’t gone through too many changes from when I was a kid, but one noticeable addition are the clear-bottoms. That’s because a few years ago a bunch of moms found mold and bacteria in their kids’ Capri Suns. The clear-bottoms ensure that you can see the contents inside and you can see if you have a moldy juice blend or not. That’s progress.
Critically Rated at 11/17
Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Tagged as Capri Sun, drink, juice, juice bled

September 21, 2014 · 5:02 pm

Mike’s Harder Black Cherry Lemonade

You’ve probably heard of Mike’s Hard Lemonade, one of the leading manufacturers of malternative adult beverages. They make a few different flavors and varieties and Mike’s Harder Black Cherry Lemonade is one of them. It’s called Mike’s Harder because it has a higher alcohol content than Mike’s Hard. It’s 8% ABV as opposed to a mere 5%. It’s called Black Cherry Lemonade because it tastes like lemonade with black cherry flavoring. It’s sweet, sour, syrupy, and sugary. It tastes like a hangover in a can and that’s pretty much what it is. I only bought a can of it so I would have something to blog about. I wish I had bought a can of beer instead. I don’t feel like a high school cheerleader when I drink beer. Mike’s Hard Lemonade impresses nobody. They need to stop marketing glorified wine coolers to straight dudes.

Critically Rated at 6/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Tagged as adult beverages, black cherry lemonade, malternative, Mike's Hard Lemonade, Mike's Harder Black Cherry Lemonade

September 21, 2014 · 4:59 pm

Sprite Blast

Sprite Blast is 7-Eleven exclusive soft drink. It’s basically Sprite with a blast of intense sweet & sour flavor. It comes in little 7.5. oz cans. It tastes like regular Sprite with the first sip and then it becomes decidedly more sour and bitter. It’s still light and bubbly, something like a sour fruit-infused sparkling beverage crossed with a soda. I like it. I wish it were available in larger sizes and maybe packaged in glass bottles to class it up a little bit. I wouldn’t drink it every day, but I would buy it once a month or so. I think it’s just a seasonal product though, so it’s likely I’ll never get it again. Not that big of a loss though. I think I’ll survive.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Tagged as 7-eleven, soda, sprite, Sprite Blast

September 19, 2014 · 9:24 pm

Red Bull The Summer Edition

Now that summer is over, it seems fitting to finally review Red Bull The Summer Edition. You’ve had regular Red Bull. You’ve had Red Bull Sugarfree. You might have tried the Red, Blue, and Silver ones. It was a 7-Eleven exclusive, so unless you ventured in search of a Slurpee you probably missed out on your chance of snagging one. The Summer Edition comes in a bright yellow can. I only saw it the 12 oz. size, but it might have been available in other amounts. It has a tropical fruit taste. It’s mostly a citrus and pineapple flavor with some mango and papaya. I like it. I bought a few cans of the stuff because I know the window is closing on them. You should get them while you can. It’s a great excuse to go to 7-Eleven. Arm yourself with twenty bucks and live like a king.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Tagged as energy drink, mango, papaya, pineapple, red bull, summer, summer edition, the summer edition

September 16, 2014 · 6:16 pm

Counting Drinks

My friend went out drinking a few nights ago and he went hard. He came to work the next day with a splitting headache and a raging hangover. I asked him what he had to drink. He started listing everything off. He had six draft beers, two bottle beers, four Jack & Cokes, and five shots. I would have been impressed if he hadn’t been counting drinks. That’s kind of amateur. That’s what college kids do when they are trying to one-up each other. I think you should drink until you get a buzz, and then you just need a drink every now and then to keep it going. Keeping track of each individual drink is pointless. You’re trying to get drunk, you don’t need to keep an inventory. That’s the bartender’s job.

Critically Rated at 11/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Tagged as bar, bartender, counting drinks, hangover, keeping track

September 5, 2014 · 10:45 pm

Ordering a Mojito After Last Call

I was barhopping with some new friends in downtown Minneapolis the other night and it was getting late. We made it to the final bar just as they announced last call. Perfect timing we thought as we sauntered up to the bar to order our drinks. I ordered a local brew, one friend ordered the same, another ordered a vodka and cran, and my last friend ordered a mojito. A fucking mojito. At last call. Needless to say, the bartender wasn’t too happy about it. She had to unwrap her mixers, cut up a few limes, pull some fresh mint, and find her muddler in the back. She still made his drink, and she made it strong, and she made it right. But she was scolding him and muttering under her breath the entire time she was making it. I think he learned his lesson. I doubt that he’ll be ordering a mojito at last call anytime soon.

Critically Rated at 6/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Tagged as last call, mojito, ordering a mojito after last call

August 13, 2014 · 5:37 pm

Bud Light Lime Raz-Ber-Rita

Bud Light Lime Raz-Ber-Rita is a raspberry flavored malt beverage that isn’t sure if it wants to be a beer or a margarita. It has the sweet and tangy raspberry flavor combined with the mellow zing of a Bud Light Lime. It’s a weird concoction. They suggest that you pour it over ice. You should never pour beer over ice. I don’t know why they want you to pour it over ice. Just sip it from the can like a normal person. It’s still a Bud Light no matter what artificial flavors and syrups they add to it. The can says that it’s a Margarita with a Twist. I’m guessing the twist is that it doesn’t have any tequila in it. That’s pretty unusual for a margarita. The most redeeming feature of this mediocre drink is the fact that it’s 8% alcohol by volume so you’ll get more buzzed drinking one of these than a regular Budweiser. I really wouldn’t recommend either.

Critically Rated at 8/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Tagged as beer, bud light lime, Bud Light Lime Raz-Ber-Rita, Budweiser, margarita, raspberry, Raz-Ber-Rita

August 12, 2014 · 10:09 pm

Beachwood/Heretic/Stone Unapologetic IPA

Beachwood BBQ Brewing, Heretic Brewing Company, and Stone Brewing Co. are three major breweries and they teamed up to create Unapologetic IPA, a Double India Pale Ale with more flavor than you can shake a stick at. I don’t know why you would shake a stick at an IPA, but it’s cool with me if you’re into that sort of thing. It pours an amber orange color with a thick white head. I get whiffs of pine and resin hops, citrus, florals, fruit, spice, and a little grass. The taste isn’t as bitter as I thought it would be. I get lots of pine hops with a malty backbone and hints of citrus, lemon peel, grapefruit peel, orange peel, grass, caramel, and dark fruits. It also has an 8.8% ABV, but you can’t taste the alcohol. It’s simply an enjoyable and drinkable seasonal IPA that you have to enjoy it while you can. So get one and enjoy it.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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August 7, 2014 · 1:09 pm

National IPA Day

August 7, 2014 is National IPA Day, a day to celebrate any beer fortunate enough to be labeled an India Pale Ale. IPAs are known for their bitter and hoppy taste and date back to the early 1800s when the British had to send beer that wouldn’t spoil to India. IPAs have a lot more flavor than domestic lagers and have an acquired taste. Nobody truly enjoys their first IPA. You have to keep drinking them before you start appreciating them. I started drinking them a few years ago and now consider craft brewed IPAs to be my go-to beer. Bold taste, high alcohol percentage, filling… all hallmarks of a delicious beer to me. You don’t need a real reason to drink good beer, but National IPA Day is a good excuse to do so. I’m commemorating the holiday with a nice stout because I’m a rebel like that.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Tagged as beer, holiday, india pale ale, IPA, IPAs, national ipa day

August 6, 2014 · 1:54 pm

Gatorade Fierce Green Apple

Gatorade Fierce Green Apple is a green apple flavored sports drink from Gatorade’s Fierce lineup. It’s not Fierce Green Apple, it’s Green Apple from Gatorade Fierce. Either way, it’s green apple flavored. It’s tastes like a liquidized version of a green Jolly Rancher, only watered down. It’s kind of sweet but still retains the sourness of a Granny Smith apple. It tastes good, but I don’t think it’s chuggable and Gatorade should be chuggable. You need to replenish your electrolytes as fast as possible and you can’t do that if you can’t chug it. This is the type of Gatorade that you would get when you’re just a thirsty dude, not when you’re doing something athletic. It’s also a limited edition flavor so you only have a small window to experience it. I don’t know when the window is closing either, so you better get on it right away if you want to try some. Carpe Greenum – Seize the Green.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Tagged as gatorade, gatorade fierce green apple, green apple, sports drink

August 4, 2014 · 9:59 am

Shark Attack Double Red Ale

Shark Attack Double Red Ale is an American Amber/Red Ale from California’s Port Brewing. It pours a dark red color (as you should expect) with a thick creamy head. It has a rich caramel malt scent with traces of citrus, pine, resin, dark chocolate, raisin, and toffee. The taste is mostly hops with citrus, pine, florals, caramel, raisin, and dark dried fruits. It’s pretty well balanced with a lot of flavor and tons of carbonation. It’s bold, smooth, and drinkable. It has a hefty 9.0% ABV so you should be slightly cautious when drinking it. A very delicious, flavorful, and exciting beer that I can’t wait to try again.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Tagged as ale, port brewing company, red ale, Shark Attack Double Red Ale

August 3, 2014 · 3:49 pm

Dogma (beer)

Dogma is an ale brewed with honey, kola nut, poppy seed and guarana from Scotland’s BrewDog brewery. It pours a dark brown color with a red tint and a thick tan head. It has a nutty malt aroma with hints of spice, honey, caramel, honey, dark chocolates, and citrus. The tastes is as rich and complex as you would expect. Lots of malt, honey, caramel, toffee, nuts, coffee, herbs, spice, and a touch of wood. This a dessert beer. It has a 7.8% ABV so it’s decently strong. It’s too heavy to drink all day, I think one or two of these would be enough before I’d move on to something else. I like it but not enough to go out of my way to get it again.

Critically Rated at 11/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Tagged as ale, brewdog, BrewDog brewery, dogma, Scotland

July 30, 2014 · 9:40 pm

Buying Cans of Beer at the Bar

I was at the bar the other day and couldn’t help but notice when a bunch of bros walked in and ordered six cans of Pabst Blue Ribbon. I’m not a big fan of PBR but I don’t shit on it, but I still couldn’t figure out why you would go to a bar and essentially order a six pack of a cheap domestic that you can get at the store for a quarter of the cost. In fact I don’t know why anybody would buy cans of beer at a bar. Get something on tap or at least get a bottle of something decent. Live a little. Canned domestics have no place in a decent bar. I can’t respect you if you order a can of Budweiser from a bartender. The bartender won’t respect you either.

Critically Rated at 4/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Tagged as bar, bartender, beer, bottle, Budweiser, buying cans of beer at the bar, cans of beer, domestics, Pabst Blue Ribbon, PBR

July 28, 2014 · 11:13 pm

Stone Enjoy By 08.16.14

Stone Brewing Co.’s Enjoy By series is one of my favorite line of beers. Every couple of months they release a new beer that you must consume by a certain date, in this case you must enjoy it by the August 16th, 2014. It’s a fresh Double IPA with lots of citrus and floral hops and a nice malty backbone. It’s a big boy beer. You have to appreciate beers with high IBUs and you won’t enjoy this brew if you don’t know what IBU stands for. It has a 9.4% ABV so you only need one or two to start having a good time. It’s pretty drinkable for a heavy beer. I’ve always been a fan of Stone Brewing and limited releases. They seem to have hit gold with Enjoy By. Try it today and see what all the fuss is about.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Tagged as double IPA, Enjoy By 08.16.14, IBU, IPA, stone brewing, stone brewing co, Stone Enjoy By 08.16.14