Tag Archives: light

My Christmas Lights

I have a strand of Christmas lights in my room. I leave my Christmas lights up all year. I’m not lazy. I leave them up on purpose. I use them as mood lighting when I’m watching a movie or Netflix. I have them displayed around my TV. It makes for a more immersive viewing experience. The soft glow of the lights perfectly compliments the soft glow of the TV. It kind of looks like a shrine to mass media. They also give me enough light to see around the room without destroying my night vision. Plus they look decorative around the holidays and make me seem festive. I’m not though. I’m a grinch.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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There’s a Light at the End of the Rainbow 

 I overheard a guy complaining about his life to his friend. His girlfriend dumped him, he was overlooked for a promotion at work, and his dog likes his roommate more than him. His friend gave him some advice and told him that “There’s a light at the end of the rainbow.” I couldn’t help but scoff at them. That’s not an expression. That’s muddling up two different expressions. There’s either a light at the end of the tunnel and there’s a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. I’ve seen the end of the rainbow and there was definitely no light, only a pot of gold and a surly leprechaun guarding it. I asked the leprechaun where the light was. He said it was obviously at the end of the tunnel. That’s where they keep it. There’s no light at the end of the rainbow. Don’t believe the hype. And don’t speak in clichés if you don’t know how to say them, especially if I’m around to make fun of you. 

Critically Rated at 9/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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SolarPuff 

 A few weeks ago I wrote an article about camping lanterns and mentioned that I have a solar powered lantern that only works during the daytime. I kind of lied. I really do have a solar powered lantern, but it really does work at night. It works really well at night in fact. It’s called SolarPuff, and it’s one of those rare Kickstarter success stories. It’s a portable compact LED solar lantern. It’s flat until you pull it open to form a cube shape. It even has a handle for your convenience. Then you press the button to turn it on. It has three settings. There’s bright, brighter, and strobe so you can get your rave on. Eight hours of sunlight is enough to provide eight to twelve hours of light. I don’t know much about the laws of thermodynamics, but I’m pretty sure that they achieved the impossible. I’m witnessing a miracle every time I turn it on. I let my roommate borrow it when he went camping and he loved it. He could not stop talking about how awesome it was. Like seriously every conversation was about how cool SolarPuff lanterns are. Morning, noon, and night he was talking about SolarPuff lanterns. He was obsessed about it. My girlfriend bought him one of his own to shut him up. He sits in his room basking in its glow every night, murmuring under his breath all the perks and benefits of the solar inflatable light cube known as the SolarPuff. 

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Camping Lantern 

 There are lots of types of lanterns out there, but this post is about camping lanterns. A camping lantern is portable light source used for illuminating dark campgrounds. You’ll find them mostly used by campers or by old farmers investigating spooky noises at night. I have a few lanterns that I’ve accumulated over the years. I have a Coleman one that runs on propane. I have another one that uses batteries. And I have another one that is solar powered (it only works in the day time though). A camping lantern is pretty useful for camping. After all, that’s what it’s for. It spreads the light more than a flashlight so it’s better for playing cards, cooking, or just providing comfort at the campsite. Don’t believe me? Ask my roommate. He went camping a few days ago and forgot to take a lantern. He said it sucked. He said he wish he had a lantern. He also forgot to take a flashlight. He had to sit in the dark and think about how nice it would be to have a lantern. He had to rely on the firelight and moonlight like a hobo. He learned his lesson. The next time he goes camping, he’s going to bring a lantern.
 Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young 

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Looking for the Light Switch

A bunch of buddies and I recently rented a house for a bachelor party weekend. It was a nice house. It had huge backyard with a pool, basketball hoop, ping-pong table, an outdoor living room equipped with a huge TV, 4 bedrooms, and 2.5 baths. It even had a kitchen with a refrigerator! There were fourteen of us altogether and we were in the mood to party and party hard. And we did. We got a bunch of beers and started playing drinking games until we started dropping like flies. One by one we would slip away from the festivities and find a place to pass out in peace. After a while there was only a few of us left to semi-clean up, lock doors, and turn off lights. It’s hard looking for the light switch in a strange house, especially when you’re wasted. I tried to turn off the patio lights and turned on the garbage disposal. I tried to turn off the kitchen lights and turned on the lights in the living room, waking up a few grumbling drunks in the process. The only light I could successfully turn off was the one in the refrigerator (all I did was shut the door). Looking for the light switch is a thankless chore. Nobody cares when you finally find it, and they’ll think you’re stupid until you do.

Critically Rated at 7/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Solar-Powered Calculator

A solar-powered calculator is a calculator that’s powered by solar energy. That means it uses light to run. They first came out in the ‘70s. I was born in 1985. I was brought up with them. They were the standard calculator in math class when I was growing up. You can take your abacus and shove it, grandpa (I’m half Asian so that’s not racist by the way). Solar-powered calculators have the same mathematical capabilities and functions as your standard battery-powered calculator. 2 + 2 = 4 and 80085 spells BOOBS on both. One just runs on the sun. Make sure you turn it off when you’re done using it. You don’t want to waste solar electricity.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Flickering Light

I was coming home late from work and had to take the last train out of the underground. I was waiting at the stop and couldn’t help but notice how empty it was. I was the only one there. It was unsettlingly quiet. And of course there was a flickering light. It made the whole situation more eerie. A flickering light adds tension and a sense of foreboding. That’s why you see flickering lights in practically every horror movie ever made. There’s a never-ending battle between light and darkness and that’s what flickering is. Well, it’s either supernatural or a sign that you need to change the light bulb. I suppose it depends on how you look at the world.

Critically Rated at 11/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Light Switch

A light switch is a switch that turns a light on and off. If the light is off and you flick it, the light will turn on. If the light is already on and you flick the switch, then the light will turn off. It’s a pretty straightforward way of controlling the light. Sadly, some people don’t know how a light switch works. They know that if they go into a dark room and can’t see anything they can flick a switch and a light will come on. But they don’t know how to turn off the light when they leave the room. Nobody taught them that a light switch goes both ways (like your mom). I don’t know whether to feel sorry for them or to slap them (like your mom). The general rule states that you turn on the light when you need to see, and you turn it off when you don’t need to see. There are exceptions of course, like leaving a light on to stop burglars or to grow weed. Other than that, you should turn off the light when you leave the room. Unless there are still other people in there.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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A Streetlight That’s On During The Daytime

Every now and then I will notice a random streetlight that’s on during the daytime. It’s bright out, the sun is still shining high in the sky, and there’s one streetlight that’s on. There’s no reason for it to be on. None of the other streetlights around it are on. It’s just that one stubborn light trying to outdo the sun. It’s not right. I don’t trust it. It’s up to something.

Critically Rated at 6/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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