Tag Archives: smoking

Amateur Stoner Neighbors

I have a pair of amateur stoner neighbors. They don’t know what they are doing. About once or twice a week they will wake me up around 8:30 or 9:00 in the morning because of their absurdly loud smoking sessions. They open the window so everyone can hear their unnecessarily noisy conversations, they blast the stereo, and light one up while coughing and hacking after each hit. First off, no respectable stoner should be waking up before 10:00 am. Secondly, if you do wake up to smoke a joint, you shouldn’t be yelling and screaming and singing loudly to terrible ‘90s rock music. Why are you screaming? You should be more concerned with passing the joint around. The only thing you should be saying that early is: “C’mon, pass it already.” Thirdly, any decent stoner should be ashamed of coughing. If you can’t handle your shit, don’t do that shit. I’m not going to yell at them to shut the fuck up because I’m moving out soon. They won’t be my neighbors for much longer. I can only hope that my new neighbors will be more professional than these current amateurs. And that they have better taste in music. That shouldn’t be too hard.

Critically Rated at 6/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Grandmas Smoking Weed for the First Time

Marijuana has always been around, but now it’s going mainstream. Medical marijuana and even recreational use has been legalized by several states and decriminalized in others. It’s being accepted by those who used to shun it. Case in point: these three grandmas smoking weed for the first time. The grandmas were always aware of marijuana, but they didn’t try it because they didn’t see a reason to. They said they were too busy smoking cigarettes, drinking cocktails, and raising families to try it. Luckily for us, they did and Cut Video caught it all on camera. It starts with the three old ladies taking turns hitting a bong and encouraging the others to take bigger rips. Then they start discussing how they feel as they experience things while being stoned for the first time. Then they hit a vaporizer. The first one realizes how smooth it is and comments, “This could be dangerously fun!” Then they play Cards Against Humanity while enjoying munchies and trying to figure out the definition of queefing. After a decent amount of reflection, the grandmas explain their newfound feelings of acceptance of the drug. The ladies are dignified and distinguished and I’m glad this video came out before the holidays because I think it will inspire a lot of families to toke up together before the Thanksgiving feast is served. Marijuana is not a bad thing. This video is proof.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Stooping

Stooping is when you hang out on a stoop, usually with a few friends and typically with a some drinks, a blunt, and/or some cigarettes. Stooping is a very common activity in a lot of cities. It’s a lot easier to enjoy the outdoors on the steps in front of your door rather than trekking to the park. You just sit on the steps, crack a brew, and enjoy each other’s company as you watch the people go by. Stooping is great because it combines so many of my favorite things into one situation. I like sitting. I like hanging out. I like smoking. I like drinking. I like people watching. And I like being lazy. If you like those things, you would probably like stooping too. It’s fun, simple, cheap, and a great way to pass the time. I highly recommend stooping it for your next casual get together.

Critically Rated at 16/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Taking Up Smoking

I’ve decided to take up smoking. I’m not trying to look cool, I’m not trying to influence any kids to do the same, and I’m not trying to impress anyone. Nope, I’m taking up smoking in order to get more breaks at work. I live in San Francisco and there are a lot of strict labor laws. I only get a thirty-minute break every 6 hours. My managers will raise a stink if they catch me sitting down in the break room while I’m on the clock. But I’ve noticed that smokers get an unofficial 5-10 minute break every hour without getting in any trouble. I want to get in on that action. I want to get paid for ignoring my customers, filling my lungs with smoke, and polluting the planet all at once. I think I would be good at that. So I bought a pack of cloves (because cigarettes aren’t hipster enough) and now I’m able to take breaks whenever I want to. And life has never been better. I wonder what other substances I can consume at work to make the time go faster…. Drugs are bad.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Smoking in the Bathroom

Smoking in the bathroom is cliché, but it’s only cliché because it makes sense. If you are a high school student, a college student living in the dorms, or if you’re a grownup stoner with a nosy landlord, then smoking in the bathroom is ideal. The tiled floor and walls combined with ventilation fans and windows means that you can air out any smoke within a few minutes. Then you can just spritz some air freshener and light a match to cover up any lingering aroma of burnt herbs. The bathroom offers you a place to sit and a lock to prevent trespassers. And you have a toilet to flush away the roach and any ash. Some bathrooms are pretty luxurious these days, even more comfortable than the living room. The nicer the bathroom, the nicer the session. Just don’t poop while you’re smoking, that’s tacky.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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