All across America and around the world people pack themselves into bars and pubs to watch their teams compete. Watching the game at the bar is more social, but it’s also more expensive than watching at home. It’s cool that you get to cheer and celebrate with other fans and you can discuss strategy and how bad the officials are. But you have to buy beer and food and you have to tip and that adds up. You have to deal with shit talkers and fair-weather fans who don’t know when to cheer. And there’s always a line for the bathroom. Watching the game at the bar is a ritual for some people and they like it. Some people don’t have any other place to watch it other than the bar so they have to suck it up and deal with it. No matter which camp you’re in, at least everyone in the bar can agree that watching sports and alcohol go hand in hand.
Critically Rated at 10/17
Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young
Sometimes you get out of work late or get to the party after everyone else. And everyone else is already drunk. So you feel like you have to catch up to get on their level. You’ll start with a shot or two and then progress to double fisting. And then a few more drinks and you’ll take a hit of that. Pretty soon you’re feeling good and you knew that catching up was a good idea. Just don’t pass them. Then it’s game over. Drink responsibly, if there is such a thing.
Critically Rated at 13/17
People drink. And people drink socially. One unfortunate byproduct of drinking with other people is that a few other people will have the same drink as you. It’s not a big deal if everyone holds on to their drink the entire time the whole time, but that’s not going to happen. You’ll set your beer down to go to the bathroom or to go out to smoke. And other people will do the same. You’ll come back to your spot and see three identical beers where you left your suds. Forgetting which beer is yours sucks, but if you’re not sure which one is yours then just take whichever one has more beer left.
Critically Rated at 10/17
People like to drink. People like to pretend that they are responsible. Sometimes they will designate a designated driver, sometimes someone will volunteer to be the designated driver. It is hard to be in a public situation with tons of drunk people and refrain from having a few drinks. It’s understandable if the designated driver has a few, so long as they don’t get too drunk. But sometimes they do. Sometimes you end up being more sober than you designated driver. All you can do is suck it up and buckle your seatbelt and be glad you’re not in the driver’s seat. If he crashes, it’s his fault, I just wanted a ride.
Critically Rated at 4/17
People like to party and I like to partake. But bars can be expensive, so it’s essential to pregame in today’s economy. You’ll grab some booze and a few friends to pound a few drinks to get a nice buzz going before you hit up the town. Just make sure you pace yourself and don’t get too carried away, because there’s nothing worse than getting drunk too early. You’ll get sleepy and pass out, and you’ll hear stories about all the crazy shit that you missed for the next few weeks. They could be exaggerating, but you’ll never know because you were lame and passed out before leaving the house. It’s inevitable, it’s going to happen. I’m just glad I’m not still in college so I don’t get Sharpie all over my face when it happens to me.
Critically Rated at 7/17
Double fisting is not sexual slang, it’s when you get two drinks at once. After a stressful day at work, or a regular day at work, or a day off from work it’s nice to go to the local watering hole and grab a drink. But it’s pointless to grab just one drink because you know that you will have another one soon. So you should get two drinks. And you should mix it up because variety is nice. So you get an IPA and a Jack & Coke. You settle down and relax a bit, switching between your fluids and making friendly conversation. But you have to pay attention to which drink to grab when double fisting. You don’t want to run out of your beer before you finish your Jack & Coke and vice versa. It’s a balancing act and a delicate one at that. So mind the stepchildren and stay aware.
Critically Rated at 11/17