Tag Archives: goodbyes

Going Away Parties

I work in a restaurant in a tourist trap in a major US city and we hire a lot of temporary workers during peak seasons. If you’ve ever worked in a restaurant, then you know that your coworkers are your family. And right now it’s the end of summer, so a lot of those seasonal workers have to go back to their real lives and I’ll never see them again. And it sucks to lose your family. So we compensate by having drinks in honor of their departures. Going Away Parties are always bittersweet. You meet an amazing person, you spend time with them, you get to know them, you can call them a friend, and then reality catches up with you and they have to leave and go back home. And for some reason you throw a party to celebrate them going away. It seems kind of fucked up, but it’s customary to feign happiness during sad times. Hence the fiestas. It’s never easy to say goodbye but alcohol makes it easier. And those fucked up Facebook photos ensure that you’ll never forget the people that abandoned you. Going Away Parties provide a sense of closure. It’s the end of an era, but everyone pretends that there will be a next time.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filed under Entertainment

Make Your Escape

You’re partying and drinking with your friends and you’re having the time of your life until you look at the clock and notice the time. You have to wake up early tomorrow for work, and you know that you have to leave soon. Having fun is awesome but you still have to be responsible, and sometimes that results in a self-enforced bedtime and leaving the party early. But you can’t just leave. You need to have an evacuation plan. You don’t want to draw attention to the fact that you’re leaving, because you don’t want to be a party pooper. There are a few ways to make your escape. You can silently ninja-slip out without saying any goodbyes. You can pretend like you’re going out for a phone call and that you’ll be right back, and then you run away. Or you can wait for the mass exodus, when a cluster of three or more people leaves at the same time. Then you can say your goodbyes and still leave without causing a fuss. You should always be prepared and know how and when to make your escape. When you see your opportunity, you gotta take it.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filed under Random Rants

Leaving the Bar and Coming Back

I was almost responsible last night. I left the bar after a few drinks, feeling slightly buzzed. And somehow I got suckered into going back inside. Leaving the bar and coming back is not a victory. It just shows that you can’t make up your mind and you let booze decide for you. If you leave the bar and follow polite social protocol, you say your goodbyes and hug your lady friends and high-five your guy friends… leaving the bar can be a big production. So when you come back, naturally everyone is confused and slightly judgmental. “Didn’t you already leave?” they ask exasperated and out of breath. All you can do is smile and shake your head, before sipping a beer and asking what the fuck they are talking about.

Critically Rated at 10/17

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Filed under Drinks