Tag Archives: catch

My Black Eye

I had the day off yesterday and celebrated by going to the park with some friends. We played cards, listened to music, ate some chips and dip, and threw a baseball around. We played catch, getting farther and farther away from each other, and that eventually morphed into an impromptu game of Three Flies Up. I was jostling for position to catch a fly ball, slightly bumping into my friend, I raised my glove, missed the ball entirely, and had it land directly onto my eye with a sickening thud. THONK!! There was a blinding flash and my eye started swelling up immediately. My friends ran over in an instant, laughing and voicing concern simultaneously as good friends should do. One handed me an ice pack, another cracked open a beer for me, and another asked if I could see out of my eye, if I had a headache, or if my eye socket was broken.

It’s not a good feeling to catch a baseball with an eye. It sucks pretty hard. It’s like getting punched in the eye. I consider myself lucky though. As shitty as my reflexes are, I still managed to close my eye instead of having the baseball land directly on my eyeball. I didn’t get hit by the stitches and that would have caused even more damage. I didn’t break my eye socket, or my nose, or lose any of my teeth. If you’re going to catch a baseball with your face, that’s the way to do it.

I can still see out of my eye. It just feels better to let it be swollen shut. I called out of work today, and warned my managers of the dangers of playing catch in the park on your days off. I plan on icing my eye and trying various internet remedies to reduce the swelling. There’s one technique that involves putting cold tea bags on the eye, so I plan on tea bagging myself later. That should be fun. This is my first black eye. I managed to go thirty years without one. Let’s see if I can break that record this time around. I can only hope.

Critically Rated at 4/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

Photo on 11-20-15 at 12.58 PM

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Catching Something With Your Foot

I was at work the other day talking to my coworker when he suddenly dropped his empty coffee mug. It would have shattered completely but my spidey-sense was tingling and I was able to stick out my foot and break the fall. He was impressed with my quick reflexes and nimble athleticism, and he was especially grateful that he didn’t lose his favorite mug. It’s weird how attached we get to our coffee mugs. Catching something with your foot makes you feel like Pele. Or David Beckham. Or whoever the hip soccer player that all the kids are talking about now is. The most important thing to remember is that you’re not trying to kick the object, you’re trying to slow its descent using your foot. Be cautious and be gentle. Imagine that somebody dropped an egg or a baby. Use too much force and you’ll break it and that defeats the point of trying to save it.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

How-to-Get-Rid-of-Athlete’s-Foot

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A Fan Making a Great Play

Yet another thing that I love about baseball is the fan interaction. You need to pay attention when you’re at the ballpark. You have to dodge the occasional broken bat. You get foul balls and home runs flying into the seats and stands. And you can make it on SportsCenter if you make a nice catch. A fan making a great play is always entertaining to watch. There are so many memorable fan catches. There’s the guy who drops his daughter to catch a foul ball. There’s the guy that snags a ball in his beer cup and celebrates by chugging it. There’s the happy dad who gets a foul, gives it to his kid, and watches in disbelief as the kid throws the souvenir back to the field. There’s the plucky old guy who gets a home run ball for the first time and offers it to a youngster nearby instead of keeping it. You’re not likely to catch a game ball, but it’s always a possibility. Be prepared and be ready to release your inner athlete at a moment’s notice.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

Colorado Rockies v Arizona Diamondbacks

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Coin Snatching

Coin snatching is when you snatch a coin or coins off of your elbow. If you’re right handed, put a quarter onto your right elbow and balance it there. Then let your elbow drop and try to grab the quarter out of the air with your right hand. It takes a couple of tries but it’s pretty easy to get the hang of it. Practice with one quarter for a while and you can start moving up to more and more coins. It more impressive if you have more coins, but it’s also more embarrassing when you fail. Coin snatching will never get you any girls, but it’s a good bar trick if you can do it when you’re drunk.

Critically Rated at 11/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Bringing a Glove to the Game

It’s baseball season and I love every minute of it, so I’m warning you now that I’ll be writing a bunch of shit about baseball for the next few months. Today’s baseball topic is bringing a glove to the game. Bringing a glove to the game means that you are either really optimistic or six-years-old. I’ve been to over two hundred baseball games in my life and have never caught a ball. I’ve had three major chances, and I would have caught them if I had my glove. I’ve only brought my glove to a few games. One time I was sitting in premium foul ball territory right along the third baseline, so I made sure to bring it. Not a single foul ball came anywhere in the vicinity of me and I almost left my glove at the bar after the game. Wearing a glove is only acceptable at the game, you look like a tool anywhere outside of the stadium. It’s a Catch-22, you’re damned if you do and you’re damned if you don’t. I might never catch a foul ball, but one time I saw a guy get smashed in the face with a loose bat. That almost makes up for it. I just want to catch one ball in my life. I don’t even want to keep the ball. I want to catch it, have my five seconds of glory, and then give it to a little kid nearby. He’ll treasure it more than I would. Unless he throws it back.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

Oakland_fan2

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Knocking Something Over and Catching It Before It Falls

You’re talking to your friend and telling a dramatic story using sweeping arm gestures for emphasis when you accidently hit a bottle on the table. It slowly tips over and starts to fall, it’s about to shatter into a million pieces, but then your superpowers activate and you snatch the bottle out of the air with the speed of a mongoose. Knocking something over and catching it before it falls is the closest thing to heroism that most of us will experience. You feel like your quick reflexes averted a disaster. In reality, your clumsiness almost caused an accident. It’s a classic example of being a winner and a loser at the same time. Oh well. No harm, no foul.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Playing Catch

People like having fun and playing games are fun. One of simplest games you can play with another person is catch. All you have to do is throw an object to your partner and hope that they catch it. And then they throw the object back to you and you try to catch it. And then you throw it back to them, and on and on it goes. You can play catch with a baseball, a football, a tennis ball, a rolled-up sock, a Frisbee, a lemon, an egg… you have a lot of options. You can spice it up by keeping count of how many successful consecutive catches you make and then trying to break your record, or you can move around and try throwing to a moving target.

Playing catch is free and easy, but if you don’t have any friends you can throw a tennis ball against a brick wall or take up juggling.

Critically Rated at 13/17

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