Tag Archives: foot

Pigeon Feet

Pigeons are disgusting city creatures. They are the sewer rats of the avian world. They live in the dirtiest parts of downtown and feast on the remnants of our garbage. And they have fucked up feet. Pigeon feet are a treasure trove of gnarled toes and mangled stumps. I don’t know if fucked up pigeon feet are genetic or simply a result of life on the street, but I see a lot of pigeons with fucked up feet. There are a lot of other city birds that eat our trash. Seagulls, crows, ravens all rely on dirty humans for survival. They don’t have fucked up feet. It seems like strictly a pigeon thing. The next time you see a pigeon, look at its feet. Be prepared to lose your appetite.

Critically Rated at 5/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

5520928047_aa295d3c30

Leave a comment

Filed under Random Rants

Catching Something With Your Foot

I was at work the other day talking to my coworker when he suddenly dropped his empty coffee mug. It would have shattered completely but my spidey-sense was tingling and I was able to stick out my foot and break the fall. He was impressed with my quick reflexes and nimble athleticism, and he was especially grateful that he didn’t lose his favorite mug. It’s weird how attached we get to our coffee mugs. Catching something with your foot makes you feel like Pele. Or David Beckham. Or whoever the hip soccer player that all the kids are talking about now is. The most important thing to remember is that you’re not trying to kick the object, you’re trying to slow its descent using your foot. Be cautious and be gentle. Imagine that somebody dropped an egg or a baby. Use too much force and you’ll break it and that defeats the point of trying to save it.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

How-to-Get-Rid-of-Athlete’s-Foot

Leave a comment

Filed under Random Rants

Foot Fetish

Do you like feet? Do you think they are sexy? Do they make you hard? Do they make you wet? Do you enjoy sucking on toes? If you answered yes to any of those questions, you probably have a foot fetish. There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s just not normal and people think that you are weird. There are lots of successful people that have a sexual fascination with feet, but Quentin Tarantino is the only one who comes to mind. Watch any of his films and it’s quite apparent that he has a minor obsession with feet (especially Uma Thurman’s gigantic feet). I think that we should stop calling it a foot fetish and start calling it a feetish. That combines two words into one word, and it has the added bonus of being a pun. Plus it’s fun to say. Feetish. Simply delightful.

Critically Rated at 9/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

Leave a comment

Filed under Random Rants