I was hanging out with some friends at the bar the other night and last call snuck up on us. Suddenly the bar was closing and it was too late to run to the liquor store. My friend was desperate to keep the party going. How desperate? Well, she gave the bartender fifty bucks to take home thirteen bottles of Bud Light. And she tipped fifty bucks on top of that. Let that sink in. She spent $100 for 13 bottles of Bud Light. If that’s not a waste of money, I don’t know what is. You can get a 12-pack of Bud Light for less than fifteen bucks, or you can spend twenty bucks and get a 12-pack of good beer. She chose to waste a hundred bucks on thirteen shitty beers. To each their own, but that’s fucking ridiculous. I couldn’t even drink one. I was too busy shaking my head.
Critically Rated at 2/17
Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young
There used to be a very simple test to determine one’s cheapness. If a person goes to a bar or restaurant and orders a Bud Light, they are cheap. Ordering a Bud Light is one step up from ordering an ice water, a bunch of lemons, and a shit ton of sugar packets to make your own lemonade. But now there is Bud Light Platinum, and as much as I love to bash Bud drinkers, this is the new light beer of choice. It has a hefty 6% alcohol content, and it still tastes like a light beer. Bottom line is that it is super drinkable and that alcohol percentage will sneak up on you. Anheuser-Busch finally realized that giving Bud Light a wheaty or lime flavor isn’t nearly as awesome as making a light beer that will fuck you up faster.
Critically Rated at 14/17
A typical American swill lager with a twist – a lime twist. My guess is that the trolls at Anheuser-Busch finally realized that Bud Light has no flavor. They decided that they would add lime, and so they did. It’s not a bad idea. It actually makes it taste less like water. I hope that Corona takes note and copies them. Bud Light still sucks though.
Critically Rated at 9/17