Category Archives: Entertainment

TV, Movies, etc

Scooter Wiley

One of the best ways to get psyched up for baseball season is to start playing baseball video games, and the best baseball video game out right now is MLB The Show. I don’t have the newest one, but my roommate has last season’s so I had to settle for playing that. I decided to create my own character, a shortstop with dreams of making it to the big leagues. Choosing his position and deciding on his physical attributes was easy, but coming up with his name was a challenge. His first name had to a casual and fun nickname. His last name had to be two simple syllables. I tossed around a few potential names before deciding to call him Scooter Wiley. Scooter Wiley seems like the ultimate baseball name, up there with Buster Posey and Homer Bailey. Scooter Wiley seems believable. If I told you that the Chicago Cubs drafted an unknown prospect named Scooter Wiley, you wouldn’t doubt it for a second. In fact, I’m surprised that there’s not already a minor leaguer out there with that moniker. Or maybe there is and he sucks so much that he’s not even Googleable.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Sports Parade

A parade is a when a town or city shuts down a few blocks so that important people can wave to non-important people. A sports parade is when a team wins the championship game and all the fans can come out and cheer for their team one more time before the next season starts. A sports parade is a way of giving back to the fans. Professional sports don’t work without fans. The winning team gets a trophy. All the players, coaches, owners, and various staff members get a ring. The fans just get a parade. It’s kind of bullshit. But it’s still fun. It’s one last chance to revel in the ultimate victory. I’ve been to two sports parades in my life, both for the San Francisco Giants. I went in 2010 and in 2012, and I’m planning to go again in 2014. Normal parades are for kids and families. They aren’t fun and they aren’t exciting once you reach a certain age. But sports parades are fun for all ages, so long as you’re invested in the team that it’s for. Sports bring together people from all walks of life. And sports parades cram all those people together on a few city streets so you can see how much impact a team has on the region. There’s a sense of community, of camaraderie that only sports can provide.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby

Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby is a 2006 comedy from Will Ferrell, Adam McKay, and Judd Apatow, three of the biggest names in comedy right now. Judd Apatow produced it, Adam McKay co-wrote it and directed it, and Will Ferrell co-wrote it and stars as Ricky Bobby, a NASCAR driver who just wants to go fast. It’s your typical Will Ferrell flick, he plays a loud, ignorant manchild with delusions of grandeur. The problem begins with his absentee father (played by Gary Cole) telling a young Ricky that “if you’re not first, you’re last.” That gets stuck in his head and becomes his whole philosophy about life.

Ricky’s life seems to be going great. He’s the fastest driver in NASCAR, he has a loyal best friend (played by John C. Reilly) who is willing to take second place so that Ricky can always win, and he has a sexy wife and two kids. His is rocked by the arrival of a new racer, a flamboyant Frenchman (played by Sacha Baron Cohen) who has dominated Formula One racing. Suddenly Ricky is not number one anymore and he loses his competitive edge. His wife leaves him for his best friend. His whole life starts to fall apart.

Ricky must learn how to become Ricky Bobby again. He gets some advice and help from his estranged father and his former assistant. Gradually he regains his confidence and it culminates in a climactic showdown on the racetrack. I don’t want to give the ending away, but it’s pretty satisfying. Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby isn’t the best Will Ferrell movie, but it’s probably in the top ten. It’s funny and quotable, but it’s already more dated than Anchorman and Step Brothers. I could watch Anchorman once a week and not get sick of it. I have to wait a few years before I can watch Talladega Nights again. There is also a lot of product placement in this movie. They try to make it obvious to make you think that they are making fun of it, but product placement is still product placement. At some point it stops being a Will Ferrell movie and becomes an extended commercial for Applebee’s and Mountain Dew.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Walk the Line (film)

Walk the Line is a 2005 biopic about Johnny Cash. Joaquin Phoenix plays Johnny Cash, Reese Witherspoon plays June Carter, and James Mangold directs the film. The film follows the generic Hollywood biopic formula. It starts with the tragic childhood event that changes Johnny’s life forever, then on his early formative years as he hones his talent and finds his persona, then his breakout moment and how he adjusts to his celebrity, then the dark years, then the recovery and ultimate redemption, and then the movie ends on a happy note just before the credits roll. I remember liking this movie a lot when it was in theaters. Everybody was talking about it for weeks and weeks before I finally caved in and bought a ticket, watched it, and loved it. I bought two Johnny Cash albums on the way home. I knew who Cash was before the movie, but I didn’t really discover him until I saw it. This movie introduced me to Cash and I’ll be forever grateful for that, but I’ve realized with the passage of time that it’s a very flawed movie.

Joaquin Phoenix does a more than adequate job as Johnny Cash. He got all his mannerisms down pat, he even did his own singing. But I don’t want to hear Joaquin Phoenix singing. I want to hear Johnny Cash. Cash has a very distinct voice and Phoenix does not. If I’m watching a movie about Johnny Cash, I want to hear Johnny Cash, not karaoke covers. And Reese Witherspoon might be able to hit all the same notes as June Carter, but she sounds nothing like her at all. It’s kind of insulting to make a film about musicians and change the music.

The movie also insults the legend by completely ignoring half of his life. The movie ends with his engagement to June Carter. That was in 1968. Cash died in 2003 at the age of 71. That’s thirty-five years that they completely gloss over. What’s the point of making a movie about somebody’s life if you skip half of it? You could make a whole other movie about the stuff that they left out. They could make a fucking sequel. In fact, they should. Can we start crowdfunding Walk the Line II: Still Walking already?

Critically Rated at 7/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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The Duck Hunt Dog

Duck Hunt was a launch title for the original Nintendo Entertainment System. It was one half of a joint cartridge that also included Super Mario Bros. Mario went on to fame and glory, but Duck Hunt didn’t leave the lasting impression that Mario did. And I blame the Duck Hunt Dog for that. The Duck Hunt Dog was the closest thing that Duck Hunt had to a mascot. He was the only character that appeared on screen (other than the ducks). He was a great concept on paper – a cute and cuddly animal with a sense of humor… he provokes the ducks, he retrieves the ducks, and he laughs at you when you miss the ducks. Seriously. He’s one of the few video game characters that breaks the fourth wall, and he only does it to make fun of you. He looks directly at you and he laughs at your failures. He mocks you. And you have to sit there and take it. You play video games to escape reality and feel better about yourself, but the Duck Hunt Dog only exists to make you feel bad. Duck Hunt would be a much better game if you could shoot that motherfucker. I’m not bitter. I just hate him so much.

Critically Rated at 4/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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The Walking Dead Season 2

AMC knew it had a smash hit The Walking Dead and the show was quickly picked up and approved for a second season. The second season saw a lot of changes from the first season. Showrunner Frank Darabont was fired and replaced by Glen Mazzara, the number of episodes increased from six to thirteen, and more characters were introduced, including fan favorites like Hershel Greene (played by Scott Wilson) and his sexy and strong daughter Maggie (played by Lauren Cohan). Season 2 is about Rick Grimes (played by Andrew Lincoln) and his fellow band of survivors finding refuge from the zombie apocalypse on a secluded farm while they try to find the missing Sophia.

As much as I love The Walking Dead, I have to admit that the second season is hard to get through. It’s fucking boring. And a show about the zombie apocalypse should never be boring. The problem was that the story got stuck in one place and focused on a storyline that nobody really cared about. An episode about looking for a lost member of the group makes for great television, but dedicating an entire season to searching for a minor character seems like overkill (and it is). Season 2 is stagnant. There are a lot of cool and shocking moments, but nothing really happens. A few people die, a few zombies pop up, but the show definitely entered a sophomore slump.

Luckily the sloppy writing and slow pace wasn’t enough to end the series, and the audience stuck with it and The Walking Dead was able to rise above the drudgery of the second season to remain one of the better shows on television today.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Top Seventeen Superhero Movies

Superhero movies have been a staple at the box office for over a decade now, and it seems like its time to Critically Rate them. To make this list the main character(s) must be a superhero. For the purposes of this list, a superhero is someone who has superpowers OR wears a costume/disguise and they must fight crime/bad guys/or a main villain. The film doesn’t need to be based on a comic to qualify; it just needs to be awesome. Here is my list of the Top Seventeen Superhero Movies of All Time.

17. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. This 1990 film is one of the oldest movies on the list, but it was a successful start to a cinematic franchise. It has comedic moments but it also takes itself seriously. The Shredder is a genuinely scary villain, the teenaged turtles are full of angst, and the action scenes pass the test.

16. The Incredible Hulk. The 2008 film was a sequel/reboot of the 2003 Hulk, and it was a much more satisfying movie. Edward Norton is always solid, Tim Roth plays a great foe, and the special effects were miles ahead of any other Hulk adaptation at that point.

15. Thor. Thor is not just a superhero, he is a god. The 2011 film brought Thor to the big screen for the first time. Kenneth Branagh directed a Shakespearean-style superhero movie that had two powerful brothers facing off. Chris Hemsworth is a picture perfect Thor, but this film gets more credit for introducing Loki (played by Tom Hiddleston) who has so far proven to be the best villain in any Marvel movie to date.

14. The Amazing Spider-Man is the 2012 reboot starring Andrew Garfield as your friendly neighborhood Spider-man. Sure, this movie was only made so that Sony could hold onto the movie rights to the character, but it was better than the Sam Raimi directed films in almost every way. It had better casting, better special effects, a better story, and better action scenes. People just didn’t want to watch it because Tobey Maguire is still fresh in their minds. Fuck Tobey Maguire. Give Andrew Garfield a chance.

13. Watchmen. This adaptation of the beloved graphic novel is not perfect by any means, but it deserves a spot on this list. It was thought to be unfilmable but Zack Snyder managed to capture the general essence of it. The most frustrating thing is that he got so many things right, but he still felt compelled to change the storyline. Don’t be fooled by the theatrical release, the director’s cut is better and the ultimate cut is even better than that.

12. Kick-Ass was a good superhero because it was a wry commentary on superhero movies. It made fun of superheroes while celebrating them at the same time. It was hysterically funny and extremely violent. That’s a good formula for entertainment.

11. X-Men was the first film of the X-Men franchise, and its success at the box office paved the way for all the superhero movies to follow. It’s not a faithful adaptation, but it’s an honest one. And the world got to see Hugh Jackman as Wolverine for the first time.

10. Batman Returns is another film that took a lot of liberties with the source material, but that doesn’t stop it from being one of the best Batman movies. Tim Burton, Michael Keaton, Michelle Pfeiffer, Danny DeVito, Christopher Walken, an army of penguins, and Pee-wee Herman? What more do you need?

9. Iron Man is a great movie because it was so unexpectedly enjoyable. Iron Man is a famous comic book character, but he doesn’t have the prestige that Batman, Spider-man, and Superman enjoy. Robert Downey, Jr. was a bit of a gamble, director Jon Favreau was a bit of a gamble, but everything clicked and fell into place and the seeds for The Avengers movie were planted.

8. Man of Steel. This was the Superman movie that I was waiting for. I honestly enjoyed Superman Returns, but even I have to admit that it was a boring movie. Man of Steel was not boring. And it might not have been Richard Donner and Christopher Reeve’s version of Superman, but it was still Superman. Even if you hated this movie, you still have to admit that the action scenes are more than exhilarating.

7. X2: X-Men United is a superior movie to the original in every single way. It has more mutants, more powers, more action, and a better story. The opening scene with Nightcrawler is reason alone to warrant a spot on this list. It made you think that the X-Men franchise was going to be one of the best series of all time. And then the third one came out and shattered your belief system. Fuck you Brett Ratner. Fuck you.

6. Superman. This is the oldest film on my list and it’s one of the most important. Richard Donner’s film has been the model for every successful superhero movie to follow is. He set the template for superhero movies. He respected the source material, and more importantly, he respected the audience. Christopher Reeve was Clark Kent. He was Superman. And he will always be the standard.

5. Spider-man 2. Tobey Maguire’s second venture as Spider-man will always be one of my favorite sequels. It’s a fun ride from beginning to end and you hardly have time to catch your breath. There’s humor, there’s despair, there’s action, and there’s romance. It’s everything that you want from a Hollywood blockbuster.

4. The Matrix. Yes, Neo is a superhero. He has powers, he has an alter ego (his real name is Thomas Anderson), he has a costume (black trench coat and sunglasses), and he fights the evil Mr. Smith. He’s a superhero, and he’s a badass, and he’s The One.

3. The Incredibles isn’t based on a comic book, it’s not live action, and it’s still a great superhero movie. You could say it’s the best and you would have a valid argument. It’s about a family of superheroes with really cool superpowers and they face off against an interesting supervillain. It’s funny, it’s heartwarming, and it has some amazing action scenes.

2. The Dark Knight is not only the best Batman movie, it’s the best DC movie. Christian Bale deserves some credit, but everybody knows that Heath Ledger carries the movie. His Joker is perhaps the best villain in any superhero movie. Christopher Nolan crafted a great trilogy, but this is the highlight by far. It’s The Dark Knight Trilogy for a reason, not The Batman Begins Trilogy or The Batman and Bane Trilogy.

1. Marvel’s The Avengers. Was there ever any doubt that this would be the best superhero movie of all time? You have Iron Man, Captain America, the Hulk, Thor, and (to a lesser extent) Nick Fury Hawkeye, and Black Widow fighting to save the planet. There are tons of characters and powers, plots and subplots, and somehow Joss Whedon manages to weave everything together to create a fun, entertaining, and satisfying blockbuster. The climactic battle is beyond description, a joyous showcase of special effects and sheer spectacle. It’s why you go to the movies. It’s why you justify spending $20 to watch something in IMAX 3-D.

So that’s my list. I hope you like it or at least respect it. If I missed anything that you think deserves to be on here, let me know and I’ll either add it or tell you why you’re wrong.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Binge-Watching

Binge-watching (sometimes called binge-viewing) is when you watch two or more episodes of the same show in one sitting. Watching episodes back to back is the best way to really become immersed in a show. Nobody wants to wait a week between episodes to find out what happens next. This is the MTV generation. We need instant gratification. The binge-watching trend started happening in the early to mid-2000s. TV shows started to become more cinematic. Productions costs went up, shooting in HD became the norm, and they started releasing full seasons of shows on DVD, all while Netflix began to popularize streaming. This was the perfect storm which lead brilliant writers, directors, and actors to realize that TV was the perhaps the best way to tell a story. The stories became longer, more complex, and more compelling for the viewer to keep on watching. And if you have access to a full season, why would you only watch one episode of Breaking Bad at a time if you can watch four episodes? Binge-watching isn’t going away. You sit on your ass for a few hours, watch an entire season of Mad Men, you feel like you accomplished something, and nobody can blame you because they’ve done the same exact thing.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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The Walking Dead Season 1

The Walking Dead is an AMC television series about a group of survivors trying to make their way through the zombie apocalypse. It’s based on a comic written by Robert Kirkland. It was brought to the small screen by Frank Darabont, the same guy who brought Stephen King’s The Shawshank Redemption and The Green Mile to the big screen, so you know he can make a successful adaptation. Darabont was the showrunner for the first season before he was replaced, but you can’t deny the impact he had in creating a cultural phenomenon. This is a show about zombies, but they never call them zombies. They refer to them as “walkers” primarily, but they have a few different names for them. It’s also a character study. How do you keep your humanity and sanity when the undead can kill you at any moment? What happens to society when everything has fallen apart?
The first season is only six episodes, but it sets up characters and story lines that are still around. The show focuses on Sheriff’s Deputy Frank Grimes (played by Andrew Lincoln) waking up from a coma to find that the world has changed. The world has been taken over by the undead and Frank must venture out in search of his wife and son. He meets a few other survivors and has to learn the ways of the new world or die in the process.
The show shares many similarities with the comics (as you would expect), but it’s entirely different in other ways. There are characters and situations in the show that aren’t in the comics, and sometimes a situation will involve different characters. The end result is that a comic reader has a better sense of what might happen or should happen, but they can’t be sure because anything could change at anytime.
The first season is kind of slow, but that’s to be expected because it’s setting up everything and you can’t rush good exposition. You get to meet some of your favorite characters like Glenn (played by Steven Yeun) and Daryl (played by Norman Reedus), as well as characters you despise like Lori (played by Sarah Wayne Callies). Lori might be the most hated character in all of television. She fucking sucks. She’s useless and annoying and bitchy and I hate her so much. You should hate her too.
You either love The Walking Dead or you hate it. There is no in between. But I don’t trust you if you don’t like it. There’s something suspicious about you. How can you hate something so great? It’s not a perfect show, but it’s one of the best things on TV right now. It’s a staple of Sunday night television and you’re missing out if you’re not watching it.
Critically Rated at 15/17
Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Talking Dead (TV show)

Talking Dead is a talk show for fans who can’t get enough of AMC’s The Walking Dead. It airs right after The Walking Dead, and the two shows go hand in hand. Host Chris Hardwick discusses the latest episode of The Walking Dead with his panel of guests. The guests usually include cast or crew members and celebrity fans of the show. They talk about the crazy cliffhanger endings and all the WTF moments of the show, they show all the zombie kills, and they recap who died. They point out things that you might have missed. They will do a special effects breakdown of a cool scene. There’s usually a sneak peak at the next episode. The Walking Dead is a cult phenomenon and Sunday night becomes an event. You get to watch an hour-long show about the zombie apocalypse and then you get to watch an hour-long talk show about an hour-long show about the zombie apocalypse. There’s something weird about that, but Talking Dead is still worth checking out if you’re a fan of The Walking Dead. It will make your Sunday night feel a little more complete.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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The Sochi Winter Games

I love the Olympics, but the Sochi Winter Games are a joke. First off, the Winter Games pale in comparison to the Summer Games. The Summer Games have all the great events: swimming, gymnastics, track and field, basketball, wrestling, etc. The Winter Games have skiing, snowboarding, and curling. That’s pretty much it. The Winter Games are the neglected younger sibling of the Olympics. We give them a little attention, but nobody really cares. The Sochi Winter Games are a travesty, a cover-up for blatant government corruption. Russia has spent over fifty billion dollars on the games, but there is very little to show for it. Almost everything is incomplete and unfinished, from hotel rooms to event venues. Just ask Shaun White how he feels about the Sochi conditions. The Games have taken a backseat to spectacle of the unfinished construction work. I don’t know which country is winning the medal count, but I know that a bobsledder had to break down a bathroom door and then he got stuck in an elevator. This isn’t the Olympic Games, it’s the Vladimir Putin Show and I want to change the channel.

Critically Rated at 3/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Anansi Boys (book)

Anansi Boys is a 2005 fantasy novel by Neil Gaiman. It is a sequel of sorts to American Gods, but it’s more of a connection than a continuation. American Gods has a character named Mr. Nancy and Anansi Boys is about Mr. Nancy’s two sons. The main character is Charles Nancy, who given the terrible nickname of Fat Charlie by his father. Fat Charlie grew up resenting his father and has willingly lost contact with him. One day he finds out that his father is dead and that Fat Charlie has a brother. Fat Charlie is shocked to learn that his father was actually a god named Anansi, a spider-like trickster and a storyteller. Fat Charlie also finds out that his long lost brother is also a god named Spider. Fat Charlie and Spider have a mini family reunion, but Spider quickly disrupts Fat Charlie’s life and nothing will ever be the same again.

Fat Charlie makes a shady pact with another god in order to get Spider out of his life once and for all. But that deal backfires and sets the plot in motion. Fat Charlie learns about gods and the family business and the power of stories. I don’t even want to go into any more details than that because this novel takes you places that you didn’t think you were going to. All I can say is that Neil Gaiman has a way of making the fantastic seem completely plausible and that Anansi Boys will blow your mind.

It’s not as good as American Gods. But if you liked American Gods, you’ll still enjoy Anansi Boys. If you’ve never read either, start with Anansi Boys because it will whet your appetite. Every character, every paragraph, every line has a meaning and a purpose. You can’t read a Neil Gaiman book once. You might appreciate it after one reading, but you won’t understand it until you reread it.  You should probably read it at least three times to pick up all the nuances and subtle uses of foreshadowing. This is a great book and another triumph from Neil Gaiman.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Equilibrium (film)

Equilibrium is a 2002 sci-fi about a dystopian society written and directed by Kurt Wimmer. It’s kind of like 1984 meets The Matrix, except 1984 and The Matrix are solid works of art and Equilibrium is a terrible movie. In the future, human emotion has been made illegal, and all the citizens of Libria are forced to take Prozium to suppress any feelings.  Christian Bale stars as John Preston, a Cleric (a cop/warrior-priest) who works for the oppressive government by tracking down and destroying anything that has artistic or emotional value. One day Preston stops taking his Prozium. He starts experiencing emotions for the first time, a dangerous thing when you can be killed for any form of Sense Offense. He starts to sympathize with the Underground, a group of rebels trying to overthrow the government.

His Cleric partner, Brandt (played by Taye Diggs) starts to become suspicious of Preston, and so Preston must suppress his emotions to avoid suspicion while simultaneously trying to undermine Father, the leader of Libria. Along the way, Preston falls in love with another Sense Offender who has been sentenced to death, he must deal with his creepy kids, and he also adopts a puppy for some reason.

I really enjoyed this movie the first time that I watched it. I thought it was a dark and gritty depiction of the future, I thought that the action scenes were cool, and I thought that the film had a lot of deep themes, which would add to its longevity. And when I watch it now, I can’t help but cringe. It doesn’t stand up. It’s a cheesy, poorly directed film that would not be out of place as Sci-Fi Channel movie of the week. The first act of the movie does a decent job setting everything up, but everything after the second act seems rushed and forced. And that whole adopting the puppy plotline really drags everything down. I know that they were trying to convey Preston’s changing emotional state, but a heartfelt bonding moment with a widdle-bitty puppy is extremely cheesy and out of place in a film that’s trying to be dark and edgy. Sean Bean is in this movie too. He dies. That’s not a spoiler. He dies in everything.

Critically Rated at 7/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Dead Trigger 2 (game)

Dead Trigger 2 is a free game developed and published by Madfinger Games. It’s available for iOS and Android, so if you have a smart phone or a tablet this is a pretty solid game to download. It’s a first-person shooter game with zombies and pretty decent graphics, especially for a free game. It’s free to play, but you can also pay to progress through the game faster.  You complete various missions and build up your arsenal and upgrade your weapons. There are different types of zombies and different game scenarios and you never know what is lurking around the next corner. It’s one of the best free games that I’ve ever played and a great way to prepare for the inevitable zombie apocalypse. Check it out, especially if you have an iPad and want to show it off.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Singing Blink-182 Songs in a Keanu Reeves Voice

A few years ago I discovered that singing Blink-182 songs in a Keanu Reeves voice not only fits the music, but it makes it better. Much better in fact. Try it. I recommend singing “All the Small Things” in your best Keanu voice. Imagine Keanu from Bill & Ted doing karaoke and try to imitate that. The more exaggerated your California surfer accent is, the better it will sound. Remember to add unnecessary pauses and to put exaggerated inflections on the wrong words. Those are essential Keanu traits that enhance Blink-182’s pop-punk sound. I don’t know why singing Blink-182 songs in a Keanu Reeves voice sounds so good, but it does. And I try not to question the good things in life, I just embrace them.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Fifteen Hundred

Fifteen hundred is kind of a lot. I should know. This is my fifteenth hundred post on Critically Rated. It took me two years and one day to write this many posts. I’m not looking for a medal or a cookie or anything. I just want a little acknowledgment and I have no problems with patting myself on the back if nobody else will. Fifteen hundred posts. Let that sink in for a minute. One thousand, five hundred posts. That’s a lot of shit that I’ve judged on a scale of 1-17. I didn’t know that there were really that many things to write about. I never planned on writing this much, but it’s not a herculean task if you just take it one word at a time.

I first started blogging as a way to catalog my life experiences. I wanted to know which beers I’ve consumed, what movies I’ve watched, I wanted to remember life’s little situations and landmark moments. And I feel like this site lets me do that. I like writing for this site more than you enjoy reading it. But you, the reader, are the most important contributor to this site. Nothing is worth writing about if there’s nobody there to read it. And not only do you read my stuff, you sometimes share it with your friends, and that’s far more rewarding than you will ever know. Thank you for visiting my site. Thank you for taking the time to read my bullshit. And if I wrote something about you, thank you for the inspiration. Fifteen hundred posts was easy… let’s see if we can do fifteen hundred more.

Critically Rated at 16/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Alcatraz: The True End of the Line (book)

Alcatraz: The True End of the Line is an autobiography by Darwin E. Coon, an ex-con who served four years on Alcatraz, the world’s most notorious prison. He tells the story of his life, everything from his childhood to his criminal capers, to the stints he pulled at various prisons and jails. It’s a short book, only 144 pages, and it’s not written that well (but that’s to be expected from an ex-con I suppose). But Darwin had an interesting life and he has some pretty amazing stories.

I actually knew Darwin. He was a regular at the restaurant that I work at in San Francisco’s Fisherman’s Wharf, and we both went to the same dive bar. He would go to Alcatraz a few times a week and sell his book to tourists and he made a killing. He would tell us stories and buy us drinks. He would talk about how he used to chase the girls, and how much easier they were to catch back then. He was the local celebrity and couldn’t walk down the street without somebody recognizing him and saying hello. He was quite the character, but he was also an ex-con and you couldn’t forget that. One day he got banned from the dive bar for threatening to kill the bartender for cutting him off. He got sick not long after and became spotted less and less frequently around the Wharf. There came a day when I spotted his name in the obituaries and I knew that an era had ended. They held his memorial service at the dive bar. Darwin passed away a few years ago, but every now and then I’ll see The Rock on my way to work and think about him.

I can’t say that Alcatraz: The True End of the Line is a good book because I’m obviously biased. But I can say that Darwin Coon had an interesting life story and it won’t take long to read about it. The guy robbed banks and escaped from police custody and served time with famous criminals. He has anecdotes about kidnapping and people getting shanked in the mess hall. He lived a life that few have experienced, and this book lets you catch a glimpse of that world. R.I.P. Darwin E. Coon, Alcatraz Inmate #1422.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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