Tag Archives: the matrix

March 1, 2014 · 10:00 am

Top Seventeen Superhero Movies

Superhero movies have been a staple at the box office for over a decade now, and it seems like its time to Critically Rate them. To make this list the main character(s) must be a superhero. For the purposes of this list, a superhero is someone who has superpowers OR wears a costume/disguise and they must fight crime/bad guys/or a main villain. The film doesn’t need to be based on a comic to qualify; it just needs to be awesome. Here is my list of the Top Seventeen Superhero Movies of All Time.

17. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. This 1990 film is one of the oldest movies on the list, but it was a successful start to a cinematic franchise. It has comedic moments but it also takes itself seriously. The Shredder is a genuinely scary villain, the teenaged turtles are full of angst, and the action scenes pass the test.

16. The Incredible Hulk. The 2008 film was a sequel/reboot of the 2003 Hulk, and it was a much more satisfying movie. Edward Norton is always solid, Tim Roth plays a great foe, and the special effects were miles ahead of any other Hulk adaptation at that point.

15. Thor. Thor is not just a superhero, he is a god. The 2011 film brought Thor to the big screen for the first time. Kenneth Branagh directed a Shakespearean-style superhero movie that had two powerful brothers facing off. Chris Hemsworth is a picture perfect Thor, but this film gets more credit for introducing Loki (played by Tom Hiddleston) who has so far proven to be the best villain in any Marvel movie to date.

14. The Amazing Spider-Man is the 2012 reboot starring Andrew Garfield as your friendly neighborhood Spider-man. Sure, this movie was only made so that Sony could hold onto the movie rights to the character, but it was better than the Sam Raimi directed films in almost every way. It had better casting, better special effects, a better story, and better action scenes. People just didn’t want to watch it because Tobey Maguire is still fresh in their minds. Fuck Tobey Maguire. Give Andrew Garfield a chance.

13. Watchmen. This adaptation of the beloved graphic novel is not perfect by any means, but it deserves a spot on this list. It was thought to be unfilmable but Zack Snyder managed to capture the general essence of it. The most frustrating thing is that he got so many things right, but he still felt compelled to change the storyline. Don’t be fooled by the theatrical release, the director’s cut is better and the ultimate cut is even better than that.

12. Kick-Ass was a good superhero because it was a wry commentary on superhero movies. It made fun of superheroes while celebrating them at the same time. It was hysterically funny and extremely violent. That’s a good formula for entertainment.

11. X-Men was the first film of the X-Men franchise, and its success at the box office paved the way for all the superhero movies to follow. It’s not a faithful adaptation, but it’s an honest one. And the world got to see Hugh Jackman as Wolverine for the first time.

10. Batman Returns is another film that took a lot of liberties with the source material, but that doesn’t stop it from being one of the best Batman movies. Tim Burton, Michael Keaton, Michelle Pfeiffer, Danny DeVito, Christopher Walken, an army of penguins, and Pee-wee Herman? What more do you need?

9. Iron Man is a great movie because it was so unexpectedly enjoyable. Iron Man is a famous comic book character, but he doesn’t have the prestige that Batman, Spider-man, and Superman enjoy. Robert Downey, Jr. was a bit of a gamble, director Jon Favreau was a bit of a gamble, but everything clicked and fell into place and the seeds for The Avengers movie were planted.

8. Man of Steel. This was the Superman movie that I was waiting for. I honestly enjoyed Superman Returns, but even I have to admit that it was a boring movie. Man of Steel was not boring. And it might not have been Richard Donner and Christopher Reeve’s version of Superman, but it was still Superman. Even if you hated this movie, you still have to admit that the action scenes are more than exhilarating.

7. X2: X-Men United is a superior movie to the original in every single way. It has more mutants, more powers, more action, and a better story. The opening scene with Nightcrawler is reason alone to warrant a spot on this list. It made you think that the X-Men franchise was going to be one of the best series of all time. And then the third one came out and shattered your belief system. Fuck you Brett Ratner. Fuck you.

6. Superman. This is the oldest film on my list and it’s one of the most important. Richard Donner’s film has been the model for every successful superhero movie to follow is. He set the template for superhero movies. He respected the source material, and more importantly, he respected the audience. Christopher Reeve was Clark Kent. He was Superman. And he will always be the standard.

5. Spider-man 2. Tobey Maguire’s second venture as Spider-man will always be one of my favorite sequels. It’s a fun ride from beginning to end and you hardly have time to catch your breath. There’s humor, there’s despair, there’s action, and there’s romance. It’s everything that you want from a Hollywood blockbuster.

4. The Matrix. Yes, Neo is a superhero. He has powers, he has an alter ego (his real name is Thomas Anderson), he has a costume (black trench coat and sunglasses), and he fights the evil Mr. Smith. He’s a superhero, and he’s a badass, and he’s The One.

3. The Incredibles isn’t based on a comic book, it’s not live action, and it’s still a great superhero movie. You could say it’s the best and you would have a valid argument. It’s about a family of superheroes with really cool superpowers and they face off against an interesting supervillain. It’s funny, it’s heartwarming, and it has some amazing action scenes.

2. The Dark Knight is not only the best Batman movie, it’s the best DC movie. Christian Bale deserves some credit, but everybody knows that Heath Ledger carries the movie. His Joker is perhaps the best villain in any superhero movie. Christopher Nolan crafted a great trilogy, but this is the highlight by far. It’s The Dark Knight Trilogy for a reason, not The Batman Begins Trilogy or The Batman and Bane Trilogy.

1. Marvel’s The Avengers. Was there ever any doubt that this would be the best superhero movie of all time? You have Iron Man, Captain America, the Hulk, Thor, and (to a lesser extent) Nick Fury Hawkeye, and Black Widow fighting to save the planet. There are tons of characters and powers, plots and subplots, and somehow Joss Whedon manages to weave everything together to create a fun, entertaining, and satisfying blockbuster. The climactic battle is beyond description, a joyous showcase of special effects and sheer spectacle. It’s why you go to the movies. It’s why you justify spending $20 to watch something in IMAX 3-D.

So that’s my list. I hope you like it or at least respect it. If I missed anything that you think deserves to be on here, let me know and I’ll either add it or tell you why you’re wrong.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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February 7, 2014 · 9:56 am

Equilibrium (film)

Equilibrium is a 2002 sci-fi about a dystopian society written and directed by Kurt Wimmer. It’s kind of like 1984 meets The Matrix, except 1984 and The Matrix are solid works of art and Equilibrium is a terrible movie. In the future, human emotion has been made illegal, and all the citizens of Libria are forced to take Prozium to suppress any feelings.  Christian Bale stars as John Preston, a Cleric (a cop/warrior-priest) who works for the oppressive government by tracking down and destroying anything that has artistic or emotional value. One day Preston stops taking his Prozium. He starts experiencing emotions for the first time, a dangerous thing when you can be killed for any form of Sense Offense. He starts to sympathize with the Underground, a group of rebels trying to overthrow the government.

His Cleric partner, Brandt (played by Taye Diggs) starts to become suspicious of Preston, and so Preston must suppress his emotions to avoid suspicion while simultaneously trying to undermine Father, the leader of Libria. Along the way, Preston falls in love with another Sense Offender who has been sentenced to death, he must deal with his creepy kids, and he also adopts a puppy for some reason.

I really enjoyed this movie the first time that I watched it. I thought it was a dark and gritty depiction of the future, I thought that the action scenes were cool, and I thought that the film had a lot of deep themes, which would add to its longevity. And when I watch it now, I can’t help but cringe. It doesn’t stand up. It’s a cheesy, poorly directed film that would not be out of place as Sci-Fi Channel movie of the week. The first act of the movie does a decent job setting everything up, but everything after the second act seems rushed and forced. And that whole adopting the puppy plotline really drags everything down. I know that they were trying to convey Preston’s changing emotional state, but a heartfelt bonding moment with a widdle-bitty puppy is extremely cheesy and out of place in a film that’s trying to be dark and edgy. Sean Bean is in this movie too. He dies. That’s not a spoiler. He dies in everything.

Critically Rated at 7/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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June 1, 2012 · 10:40 am

The Matrix Revolutions

The Wachowski brothers direct the third and final installment of the Matrix trilogy. Keanu Reeves, Carrie-Anne Moss, Laurence Fishburne, and Hugo Weaving reprise their roles as Neo, Trinity, Morpheus, and Agent Smith. Jada Pinkett Smith also returns, and this time she actually affects the plot. The machines are ready to attack Zion, and Neo is still in a coma. I hope that everything turns out ok.

Revolutions picks up right where Reloaded leaves off. Neo is in a coma, machines are bearing down on the last refuge of mankind, and the human race is looking pretty fucked. Neo is trapped in purgatory, which looks a lot like a subway station. The subway is controlled by The Trainman (Bruce Spence). The Trainman is an ally of the Merovingian, and Trinity and Morpheus pay him a visit and ultimately succeed in freeing Neo.

Neo visits the Oracle one last time, and this time she looks different. That’s because the original actress died and they had to replace her. They act like it’s an intentional recasting and an essential part of the story. Actors sometimes die during the filming of a movie, and this was an awkward way to handle it. They could have simply not used the Oracle character again, or they could have recast and not addressed it like when Richard Harris died and Michael Gambon took over as Dumbledore, or they could have used old footage and stand-ins like in The Crow. It cheapens the memory of Gloria Foster, and even though Mary Alice does a good job, she is still an imposter.

In the real world, Agent Smith still has possession over an ally of Neo’s named Bane. Bane sneaks onto Neo’s ship and beats the shit out of Trinity and blinds Neo with a power cable, but Neo discovers a new ability to see machines and programs as glowing entities.

Morpheus and Niobe are trying to get back to Zion and save it from the Sentinels. They do some crafty maneuvering to get back home, and get back in the nick of time and set off an EMP, stopping the machines temporarily, but putting Zion in grave danger in the process.

Neo reaches the Machine City and warns them that Agent Smith will take over the Matrix, and that’s bad for both machines and humans and so they decide to make peace, and Neo enters the Matrix to face his enemy.

Smith has taken over the Matrix, every single occupant is one of his copies. And rather than fight them all at once like he did in the second movie, he fights just one of them as the rest watch, as bored as you are by this point. First they fight on the ground. And then they fight in the sky. And they fly around punching and kicking and talking about the inevitable. And you are glancing at your watch. It is sad when a franchise with so much potential ends with poorly animated CG replicas of Keanu Reeves and Hugo Weaving slapping each other in a green thunderstorm in the sky.

I won’t tell you how the movie ends, because I don’t think it’s even worth talking about. It’s just a disappointment. It’s confusing, it’s incoherent… the Wachowskis will pretend like it’s deep and an intellectual movie. It’s not. It’s a pretentious piece of crap. It’s noise. How long can you see a sea of metallic sperm attacking cave people before you don’t give a fuck? No one cares about Zion. It’s called THE MATRIX… this isn’t the Terminator. Machines with A.I. has been done before, getting jacked into an artificial world is slightly more original.

The Matrix trilogy is a pretty decent trilogy all in all. The first movie is the best. The second movie starts to slip and falter, but has some great moments (mostly the freeway sequences). The third movie is just bad. All the best ideas for action scenes had already been used. It just feels tired and drags on and on. There isn’t anything that stands out in the movie. It’s just a sad end to a once great franchise. At least The Animatrix was good.

Critically Rated at 9/17

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May 26, 2012 · 10:12 am

Actors in Multiple Movie Franchises

Some movies make a lot of money. And people like money, so they decide to make a sequel to make even more money. And if that sequel makes money they might make a third movie. And three movies in the same series makes a trilogy, and (for the purposes of this article) a trilogy is a film franchise. So if an actor appears in three or more movies in the same franchise and three or more movies in another franchise, then they will appear on this list. Unless I forgot about them. Sorry forgotten celebrity.

Harrison Ford starred in the original Star Wars trilogy and the Indiana Jones trilogy (and that shitty fourth movie that I try to forget about). He’s also rumored to come back in the new Star Wars movies.

Tim Allen starred in the Toy Story trilogy and the Santa Clause movies.

Michael J. Fox went Back to the Future three times and voiced Stuart Little three times.

Matt Damon was Jason Bourne three times and was in Ocean’s Eleven, Twelve, and Thirteen.

Eddie Murphy was Donkey in four Shrek movies and Axel Foley three times as a Beverly Hills Cop. Mike Myers was Shrek in the Shrek flicks and Austin Powers and Dr. Evil in the Austin Powers movies.

Shrek And Donkey - Shrek The Final Chapter Desktop Wallpaper

Orlando Bloom was Legolas in the Lord of the Rings trilogy, and he’s reprising his role in The Hobbit movie. He was also in the first three Pirates of the Caribbean movies too.

Sir Ian McKellen has saved the world as Gandalf in three Lord of the Rings movies and will do so again in The Hobbit trilogy. He’s also threatened the world three times as Magneto in the X-Men franchise.

Patrick Stewart played Captain Jean-Luc Picard four times on the big screen and played Charles Xavier in three X-Men movies with a cameo in the Wolverine movie.

Crazy anti-Semite Mel Gibson has been in four Lethal Weapon Movies and was Mad Max three times. You know he hates Jews right?

Warwick Davis was in six Leprechaun movies (about half were direct-to-video) and was also in all eight Harry Potter Movies playing duel roles as Professor Flitwick and Griphook.

Sylvester Stallone was Rambo four times and Rocky Balboa six times. I have a feeling he might be Expendable three times too.

Vin Diesel sucks a lot of balls, but he’s been in four Fast and/or Furious movies (one of them was just a cameo), and he will play Riddick again in 2013. I’m sure that there are at least four people who will pay to see that shit.

Ben Stiller has played Gaylord Focker in three movies and loaned his voice to three Madagascar movies.

Gary Oldman played Sirius Black in Harry Potter 3, 4, 5 and 7.5 and has been James Gordon three times in Christopher Nolan’s Batman trilogy.

Bruce Campbell has played Ash in the Evil Dead movies and had cameos in all of Sam Raimi’s Spider-man movies. That might be a stretch, but it still counts.

Antonio Banderas has been Puss in Boots in three Shrek movies and one spinoff and was in four Spy Kids movies (his scene was cut in the fourth one. Yes, there are four Spy Kids movies). He was played El Mariachi in two out of the three El Mariachi movies, so he doesn’t get any points for that.

John Cho has hung out with Kumar three times as Harold, and he was in American Pie, American Pie 2, American Wedding, and American Reunion. Cameos count. Right, Bruce Campbell?

Samuel L. Jackson was Mace Windu in Star Wars Episode I-III. He also played Nick Fury in Iron Man, Iron Man 2, Thor, Captain America, and The Avengers, which are all part of the same universe, so he gets included.

Jackie Chan has three franchises under his belt. Three Rush Hour movies, four Police Story movies, and he’s loaned his voice to two Kung Fu Panda movies with a third coming out in 2013.

Christopher Lee played Fu Manchu three times, he was Dracula in a bunch of movies. He was Count Dooku in Episodes II and III and the animated Clone Wars movie. He was in Lord of the Rings too.

Hugo Weaving has also been in three franchises. He threatened Neo three times as Agent Smith in the Matrix trilogy. He loaned his voice to Megatron in the Transfomers movies. And he was Elrond in the Lord of the Rings movie and will reprise his role again in one of the upcoming Hobbit movies.

So that’s my list. I think it’s pretty complete. If you see anyone that I’m missing leave a comment. And I’ll either correct you or add it to my list. I don’t know how to rate this so I will just settle for something like this:

Critically Rated at 12/17

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May 18, 2012 · 11:15 am

The Animatrix

The Matrix is a great movie. The sequels have some great moments, but they are not great movies. The Animatrix is the best installment in the Matrix franchise. It’s a collection of eight animated shorts about the Matrix universe. Each segment has it’s own style of animation. Four of the stories are related to the movies, and the other four are independent. If you liked the first movie and thought the sequels sucked, you should give this one a try, it might redeem your faith in the Matrix franchise.

Final Flight of the Osiris is a CG animated short that ties directly into the Matrix Reloaded. The animation is reminiscent of the Final Fantasy movie. The Second Renaissance is a two-part film that explores how the machines came to dominate man. It’s pretty much a history lesson on how the Matrix universe was formed. B1-66ER will haunt your dreams. Kid’s Story is a tale about that weird kid that wanted to carry Neo’s luggage in the second movie. It’s how he escaped the Matrix, and Neo makes an appearance. Really cool animation, kind of like Waking Life.

Program is an independent short; it has no bearing on the films. It’s about a chick named Cis being tested as to whether or not she wants to be in the real world or go back to Matrix. It’s my least favorite segment. World Record is about a sprinter who pushes his body and mind to the limit, escaping the Matrix and finding freedom. Beyond is about a girl who goes looking for her lost cat and finds a haunted house. The haunted house isn’t actually haunted, it’s just a glitch in the Matrix. It’s the best of the independent stories and one of the highlights of the Animatrix. It’s simply fantastic.

A Detective Story is a film noir short about a detective trying to track down Trinity. It’s set in the ‘30s or ‘40s, and it’s like the Maltese Falcon meets the Matrix, but it works. Matriculated is the last short and a disappointing way to end the Animatrix. It’s done by the same guy who did Aeon Flux, so imagine that style with weird Matrix robots. It’s about a group of humans who try to reprogram machines to help humans and not kill them. It’s not a bad story, but the Animatrix should end with a short that is more relevant to the Matrix films.

The Animatrix is the best installment in the Matrix franchise. And it’s the most overlooked. The Animatrix is worth buying, high praise in these days of illegal downloads. The Second Renaissance and Beyond are reason enough to buy it. Great animation and great stories add up to a great time. And you gotta admit that it has a clever title.

Critically Rated at 16/17

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May 16, 2012 · 10:37 am

The Matrix

No one can be told what the Matrix is; you have to see it for yourself. And you’ve should have seen it by now. It’s been out for 13 years. Andy and Larry Wachowski wrote and directed The Matrix, one of the greatest action/sci-fi films ever. Keanu Reeves plays Neo, a hacker who finds out the world is a lie perpetrated by machines to control and harness energy from humans, and that he is the One prophesized to save mankind.

Thomas Anderson A.K.A. Neo (Keanu Reeves) is a hacker by night and an office drone by day. He senses that there’s something wrong with the world, but he can’t quite grasp it. He gets enigmatic clues about something called the Matrix, but he can’t figure out its meaning. He meets a mysterious hacker named Trinity (Carrie-Anne Moss) who leads him to man named Morpheus who can help him find out what the Matrix is. Morpheus (Laurence Fishburne) gives Neo a pill to swallow, and since you should always take strange pills that a stranger gives you, Neo swallows it and reality collapses into a dream and he wakes up in the Real World.

Morpheus finds Neo and takes him on his ship, the Nebuchadnezzar. Morpheus is the captain, Trinity is a crewmember, and there are a few other crewmembers including the shady Cypher (Joe Pantoliano). Neo finds out the truth about the Matrix. Humans developed machines that got too smart and that lead to a war and that lead to us getting our asses kicked. Now the bulk of mankind is harvested for energy. The Matrix is a simulated reality that the controlled humans are connected to. The world that they know is a computer program.

Neo learns that he can manipulate the computer program, that he can bend the rules of gravity and physics and learn Kung Fu. Morpheus believes that Neo is the One, that he will end the war between the machines. Neo doubts himself; he can’t quite free his mind. Neo learns all the rules about the Matrix, and he learns that the Agents are bad. Especially Agent Smith (Hugo Weaving).

So there’s a bunch of philosophical hoopla about the nature of reality and prophecy and fate vs. freewill. They visit the Oracle and she talks to Neo about his future. She tells him what he needs to hear. Then the shady Cypher is revealed to be working for the Agents. He sells out his crew and tips off their location. Morpheus gets captured, the unnecessary crewmembers die, and now its time for Neo to man up and save Morpheus.

They get a shit ton of guns and have a cool fire fight and kill lots of innocent guards who aren’t agents or evil. They decided not to bring spare magazines, so each time the clip runs out they just whip out a new gun. I guess it’s easier to just carry 20 guns rather than reloading. Neo and Trinity rescue Morpheus. Trinity and Morpheus go back to the real world, and Neo gets attacked by Agent Smith. And Neo stands his ground for a while, but then he runs away like a bitch. Just as he’s about to exit the Matrix, he gets shot. And he dies. And then Trinity kisses him and he comes back to life. And now he’s the One. And then he kills Agent Smith, but not really, because Agent Smith comes back in the sequels. But we don’t know that yet. But for now, Neo has saved the day, and things are looking up for mankind

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Quick factoid: Will Smith turned down the part of Neo to star in Wild Wild West. Thank god, because he would have ruined this movie. Keanu Reeves is not a good actor, but he is perfect for Neo. He lets the events unfold around him, he doesn’t talk much, and he just reacts and looks bewildered by everything. And it suits the movie perfectly.

The action was and still is amazing. The fight choreography is as good as it gets. The bullet time sequence is one of the coolest shots in history. The action is great, but this film works because the action and philosophical scenes go hand in hand. This is a smart movie. The sequels tried to be smart and got pretentious

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If you haven’t seen this movie in a while, go back and watch it. There’s a great buildup, and the dialog is very layered. There’s a lot more to The Matrix than you might remember. It deserved to be the start of a franchise. And even though the Wachowski Brothers went kind of crazy, the Matrix Universe is still worth exploring.

Critically Rated at 15/17

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