Tag Archives: celebration

Popping Champagne

Popping champagne almost always signifies a celebration. You crack a beer at the end of a long day; you pop champagne to commemorate a special occasion. You pop champagne when you get engaged, married, win a championship, or bring in the New Year. You pop the cork and spray the crowd if you really want to get rowdy. Champagne is fizzy, it’s happy. It’s not something that you drown your sorrows in.

Whoever buys the bottle of champagne has the honor of popping it. It might be intimidating at first, but confidence is always the key. Grab the neck of the bottle firmly and use your thumbs to slowly push up the cork. Make sure you’re not aiming at anybody’s face (nobody deserves to die like that). Try to aim the cork at something in specific, like at a tile in the ceiling or on top of an awning. The most important thing about buying a bottle of champagne is letting everybody know that you were the one who bought the bottle of champagne. It’s not worth it if you don’t get credit for it.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filed under Drinks

Sports Parade

A parade is a when a town or city shuts down a few blocks so that important people can wave to non-important people. A sports parade is when a team wins the championship game and all the fans can come out and cheer for their team one more time before the next season starts. A sports parade is a way of giving back to the fans. Professional sports don’t work without fans. The winning team gets a trophy. All the players, coaches, owners, and various staff members get a ring. The fans just get a parade. It’s kind of bullshit. But it’s still fun. It’s one last chance to revel in the ultimate victory. I’ve been to two sports parades in my life, both for the San Francisco Giants. I went in 2010 and in 2012, and I’m planning to go again in 2014. Normal parades are for kids and families. They aren’t fun and they aren’t exciting once you reach a certain age. But sports parades are fun for all ages, so long as you’re invested in the team that it’s for. Sports bring together people from all walks of life. And sports parades cram all those people together on a few city streets so you can see how much impact a team has on the region. There’s a sense of community, of camaraderie that only sports can provide.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filed under Entertainment

High Five

A high five is a gesture of acknowledgment and celebration. You need a minimum of two people and something to celebrate. Let’s pretend your stupid brother finally got his driver’s license after the fourth attempt. You would say something like “High five” or “Gimme five” and then the two of you slap your palms together. Remember that it’s a celebratory gesture. It has to be earned. You can’t go around high fiving everybody all the time. I had a coworker who would high five everyone and everybody for no reason. It was awkward. He was awkward. He got fired and moved back to his hometown. Nobody misses him. And it’s all because he didn’t know the proper high five etiquette. High fives are easy. You just have to know when to apply them. Don’t be a constant high-fiver, don’t be that guy.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

 

 

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Filed under Random Rants