Tag Archives: x-men

Logan (Film)

Logan is the tenth instalment of the X-Men film franchise and marks Hugh Jackman’s final portrayal of Wolverine. He’s played the iconic character for seventeen years. That’s a long fucking time. I saw X-Men in the theaters when I was fifteen, just after my freshman year of high school. I went to college, I moved around a bit, worked a few jobs, and now I’m thirty-one with a couple of kids and a mortgage. Hugh Jackman as Wolverine was there for all of that. Ok, I don’t have kids or a mortgage, but I could if I didn’t live in San Francisco.

Hollywood has gone crazy with remakes and sequels and reboots and prequels. On the big screen alone I have seen three Spider-Mans, three Supermans, three Punishers, five Batmans, but there has only been one Wolverine. Logan is the perfect way to say goodbye to him. 

I realize that I haven’t actually talked about the movie yet. By now I’m sure you’ve heard that it’s good. It is good. I hear lots of comparisons to Deadpool because they are both R-rated and do justice to their comic book counterparts. I think it’s a better film than that Deadpool. It has more heart, more weight, more to say. It’s a more complex movie for a more complex character. Deadpool is great. Logan is better. X2 was easily my favorite X-Men movie… now it just might be Logan. That’s a bold statement. 

Props to Hugh Jackman, Patrick Stewart as Charles Xavier, and especially to Dafne Keen as Laura/X-23. I’m not a fan of child actors, but Keen’s performance was on par with Jackman and Stewart. Anything less would have derailed the film. James Mangold directed one hell of a film. I wouldn’t be surprised if it won a couple of Oscars. It’s a legitimate film. Check it out, it’s the end of an era and it deserves to be recognized.

Critically Rated at 16/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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The Wolverine (film)

Hugh Jackman returns to his iconic role as Logan/Wolverine in 2013’s The Wolverine. It’s directed by James Mangold, the same guy who wrote and directed Walk the Line. He knows how to make a dramatic, Oscar-worthy film. Too bad this is supposed to be an action flick and his directing style drags the film down. It’s a sequel of sorts to X-Men: The Last Stand and you get to see how Logan is handling the death of Jean Grey. The answer is not well. He’s living in the woods, keeps to himself, and dreams about Jean every night. He’s lost his way and has become a broken soldier. All this changes when a mutant precog named Yukio tracks Logan down and brings him to Japan.

It turns out Logan was summoned there by a guy named Yashida, a former Japanese soldier that Logan saved during World War II. Yashida is now the dying CEO of a huge company and he wants to pay his life debt to Logan before he succumbs to cancer. Yashida offers to transfer Logan’s healing abilities into his own body to alleviate him of the curse of immortality. Logan refuses and Yashida passes away. A few days later a few members of the Yakuza try to kidnap Yashida’s granddaughter, Mariko, at the funeral. Logan must protect Mariko and find out who tried to kidnap her and why. Only Logan must do it without his trademark healing abilities, which have mysteriously stopped working at that point.

It turns into your stereotypical chase/whodunit movie at that point. It’s like The Bourne Identity. A guy with superior fighting skills and a pretty girl on the run and hiding out from bad guys, they’re trying to solve a mystery and falling for each other at the same time. There’s a lot of unnecessarily sappy dialog and the dramatic scenes slow down the pace to a crawl. The film gets boring. And a film about mutants, particularly the most badass mutant, should never be boring. Having Logan lose his healing powers was a big mistake. It’s so pointless to have a superhero lose his powers. It doesn’t add any tension. You know that he’s going to get them back eventually.

The action scenes are decent, but I expected them to be a lot better. It doesn’t seem like an X-Men movie. There needs to be more spectacle. The best action sequence was the fight on top of the bullet train. The climactic battle was a bit of a let down as well. All in all this is an adequate action film, but a disappointing superhero film. It’s just kind of meh.

Critically Rated at 11/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Top Seventeen Superhero Movies

Superhero movies have been a staple at the box office for over a decade now, and it seems like its time to Critically Rate them. To make this list the main character(s) must be a superhero. For the purposes of this list, a superhero is someone who has superpowers OR wears a costume/disguise and they must fight crime/bad guys/or a main villain. The film doesn’t need to be based on a comic to qualify; it just needs to be awesome. Here is my list of the Top Seventeen Superhero Movies of All Time.

17. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. This 1990 film is one of the oldest movies on the list, but it was a successful start to a cinematic franchise. It has comedic moments but it also takes itself seriously. The Shredder is a genuinely scary villain, the teenaged turtles are full of angst, and the action scenes pass the test.

16. The Incredible Hulk. The 2008 film was a sequel/reboot of the 2003 Hulk, and it was a much more satisfying movie. Edward Norton is always solid, Tim Roth plays a great foe, and the special effects were miles ahead of any other Hulk adaptation at that point.

15. Thor. Thor is not just a superhero, he is a god. The 2011 film brought Thor to the big screen for the first time. Kenneth Branagh directed a Shakespearean-style superhero movie that had two powerful brothers facing off. Chris Hemsworth is a picture perfect Thor, but this film gets more credit for introducing Loki (played by Tom Hiddleston) who has so far proven to be the best villain in any Marvel movie to date.

14. The Amazing Spider-Man is the 2012 reboot starring Andrew Garfield as your friendly neighborhood Spider-man. Sure, this movie was only made so that Sony could hold onto the movie rights to the character, but it was better than the Sam Raimi directed films in almost every way. It had better casting, better special effects, a better story, and better action scenes. People just didn’t want to watch it because Tobey Maguire is still fresh in their minds. Fuck Tobey Maguire. Give Andrew Garfield a chance.

13. Watchmen. This adaptation of the beloved graphic novel is not perfect by any means, but it deserves a spot on this list. It was thought to be unfilmable but Zack Snyder managed to capture the general essence of it. The most frustrating thing is that he got so many things right, but he still felt compelled to change the storyline. Don’t be fooled by the theatrical release, the director’s cut is better and the ultimate cut is even better than that.

12. Kick-Ass was a good superhero because it was a wry commentary on superhero movies. It made fun of superheroes while celebrating them at the same time. It was hysterically funny and extremely violent. That’s a good formula for entertainment.

11. X-Men was the first film of the X-Men franchise, and its success at the box office paved the way for all the superhero movies to follow. It’s not a faithful adaptation, but it’s an honest one. And the world got to see Hugh Jackman as Wolverine for the first time.

10. Batman Returns is another film that took a lot of liberties with the source material, but that doesn’t stop it from being one of the best Batman movies. Tim Burton, Michael Keaton, Michelle Pfeiffer, Danny DeVito, Christopher Walken, an army of penguins, and Pee-wee Herman? What more do you need?

9. Iron Man is a great movie because it was so unexpectedly enjoyable. Iron Man is a famous comic book character, but he doesn’t have the prestige that Batman, Spider-man, and Superman enjoy. Robert Downey, Jr. was a bit of a gamble, director Jon Favreau was a bit of a gamble, but everything clicked and fell into place and the seeds for The Avengers movie were planted.

8. Man of Steel. This was the Superman movie that I was waiting for. I honestly enjoyed Superman Returns, but even I have to admit that it was a boring movie. Man of Steel was not boring. And it might not have been Richard Donner and Christopher Reeve’s version of Superman, but it was still Superman. Even if you hated this movie, you still have to admit that the action scenes are more than exhilarating.

7. X2: X-Men United is a superior movie to the original in every single way. It has more mutants, more powers, more action, and a better story. The opening scene with Nightcrawler is reason alone to warrant a spot on this list. It made you think that the X-Men franchise was going to be one of the best series of all time. And then the third one came out and shattered your belief system. Fuck you Brett Ratner. Fuck you.

6. Superman. This is the oldest film on my list and it’s one of the most important. Richard Donner’s film has been the model for every successful superhero movie to follow is. He set the template for superhero movies. He respected the source material, and more importantly, he respected the audience. Christopher Reeve was Clark Kent. He was Superman. And he will always be the standard.

5. Spider-man 2. Tobey Maguire’s second venture as Spider-man will always be one of my favorite sequels. It’s a fun ride from beginning to end and you hardly have time to catch your breath. There’s humor, there’s despair, there’s action, and there’s romance. It’s everything that you want from a Hollywood blockbuster.

4. The Matrix. Yes, Neo is a superhero. He has powers, he has an alter ego (his real name is Thomas Anderson), he has a costume (black trench coat and sunglasses), and he fights the evil Mr. Smith. He’s a superhero, and he’s a badass, and he’s The One.

3. The Incredibles isn’t based on a comic book, it’s not live action, and it’s still a great superhero movie. You could say it’s the best and you would have a valid argument. It’s about a family of superheroes with really cool superpowers and they face off against an interesting supervillain. It’s funny, it’s heartwarming, and it has some amazing action scenes.

2. The Dark Knight is not only the best Batman movie, it’s the best DC movie. Christian Bale deserves some credit, but everybody knows that Heath Ledger carries the movie. His Joker is perhaps the best villain in any superhero movie. Christopher Nolan crafted a great trilogy, but this is the highlight by far. It’s The Dark Knight Trilogy for a reason, not The Batman Begins Trilogy or The Batman and Bane Trilogy.

1. Marvel’s The Avengers. Was there ever any doubt that this would be the best superhero movie of all time? You have Iron Man, Captain America, the Hulk, Thor, and (to a lesser extent) Nick Fury Hawkeye, and Black Widow fighting to save the planet. There are tons of characters and powers, plots and subplots, and somehow Joss Whedon manages to weave everything together to create a fun, entertaining, and satisfying blockbuster. The climactic battle is beyond description, a joyous showcase of special effects and sheer spectacle. It’s why you go to the movies. It’s why you justify spending $20 to watch something in IMAX 3-D.

So that’s my list. I hope you like it or at least respect it. If I missed anything that you think deserves to be on here, let me know and I’ll either add it or tell you why you’re wrong.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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X-Men: Mutant Massacre (comic)

Mutant Massacre is an X-Men comics crossover involving the X-Men, X-Factor, the New Mutants, the Power Pack, and Thor. The basic premise is that the Morlocks (mutants who have given up on society and formed their own underground community in the sewers) are being attacked and killed by the mysterious Marauders. The X-Men and X-Factor both enter the sewers in a desperate attempt to stop the massacre. They arrive separately and the two teams never meet up with each other. The fighting results in a lot of minor characters dying, and some of the main characters obtaining severe injuries. Meanwhile, other Marvel characters from other Marvel comics show up to remind you this is all taking place in the Marvel Universe. The Power Pack shows up at one point. I hope you like wholesome preteen superhero siblings who try to fight crime before bedtime. The unnecessary and stupid antics of the Power Pack are forgiven by the emergence of Thor into the storyline. He storms into the sewers and kicks some ass and even saves Angel from the Marauders.

But this is not a story about superheroes. It’s a story about mutants, and it’s really about genocide. People die in this story. A lot of people. And they die because they are mutants, because they are different. It’s a social commentary about the injustices in the world, and just because the characters have superpowers and wear spandex doesn’t mean it’s not a true story.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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God Loves, Man Kills (comic)

The X-Men has always been a metaphor for human rights, equality, and acceptance. Nowhere is that more apparent than in this 1982 graphic novel. In God Loves, Man Kills, a deranged minister leads an anti-mutant campaign, calling for the death of all mutants in the name of God. Stryker is a capable politician and the public seems to support him, and hatred and fear of mutants reaches a fevered peak. To add even more drama to the story, Stryker kidnaps Professor X and manipulates him and Cerebro to attack all the mutants. The X-Men’s main enemy, Magneto, joins them in a shaky alliance against Stryker. If that sounds familiar, it’s because they recycled the basic story for X2: X-Men United. Chris Claremont’s story is still relevant and celebrated more than thirty years later. He touches on themes of racism and persecution. He makes direct references to the holocaust and genocide, and isn’t afraid to use N-word to make a point. Brent Anderson’s art fits the story perfectly.  The panel layout adds a nice sense of pacing. Sometimes it’s very structured, sometimes the art overlaps and flows into another panel. It makes it feel more dynamic and spontaneous. God Loves, Man Kills is more than just a comic, it’s accepted literature.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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X-Men: The Dark Phoenix Saga

Writer Chris Claremont and illustrator John Byrne are the creative team behind one of the most important and influential comic storylines in Marvel’s history. The plot centers on Jean Grey’s transformation into the Dark Phoenix, a being of god-like power with the potential to destroy the universe. Jean Grey’s true power starts to emerge and it’s too much for her to handle. Cyclops agonizes as the woman that he loves becomes a threat to the entire universe, and he must lead the X-Men in a fight to defeat one of their own. The basic storyline was ripped off and butchered in X-Men: The Last Stand. The comic is obviously better and also involves the corrupt and evil Hellfire Club, as well as a cosmic battle between the X-Men and the Shi’ar Imperial Guard over the fate of Jean Grey/the entire universe. Not only is it considered a classic; it also introduced readers to the Dazzler and a young Kitty Pride. There are a lot of X-Men comics out there; this is a good one to start with.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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X-Men: Age of Apocalypse (comic)

How much difference can one man make? Well, a lot, especially if we’re talking about Charles Xavier. Even if you’ve never read any X-Men comics or seen the movies, you still know that Charles Xavier is the leader of a group of mutants known as the X-Men. The Age of Apocalypse storyline explores what the world would be like without one of the key characters in the Marvel Universe. A time-traveling assassin goes back in time to when Magneto and Xavier are still friends, and tries to assassinate Magneto, but Xavier sacrifices himself to save his friend. Xavier dies and Magneto vows to keep Xavier’s dream of mutant and human harmony alive. With the death of Xavier, the immortal and evil mutant Apocalypse decides this is the perfect time to conquer the world.

            Things are definitely different without Xavier. The world has gone to shit. Most of your favorite characters have changed, some of them drastically. Like Wolverine isn’t Wolverine, he’s known as Weapon X and he’s missing a hand. And Cyclops is working for the bad guys. Age of Apocalypse isn’t just a comic; it’s a comic crossover, spanning multiple titles. You could track down and collect all of the individual issues, or you could just buy the 4-volume Complete Age of Apocalypse Epic trade paperback. With so many different titles and issues, there is obviously a lot of shit going on and it’s pretty overwhelming at first. The story goes all over the place and there are quite a few unnecessary subplots. It takes a lot of time to introduce characters and set up the plot, and it gradually gets more coherent. You’ll still be scratching your head over some plot holes and developments, but the overall story is satisfying.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Actors in Multiple Movie Franchises

Some movies make a lot of money. And people like money, so they decide to make a sequel to make even more money. And if that sequel makes money they might make a third movie. And three movies in the same series makes a trilogy, and (for the purposes of this article) a trilogy is a film franchise. So if an actor appears in three or more movies in the same franchise and three or more movies in another franchise, then they will appear on this list. Unless I forgot about them. Sorry forgotten celebrity.

Harrison Ford starred in the original Star Wars trilogy and the Indiana Jones trilogy (and that shitty fourth movie that I try to forget about). He’s also rumored to come back in the new Star Wars movies.

Tim Allen starred in the Toy Story trilogy and the Santa Clause movies.

Michael J. Fox went Back to the Future three times and voiced Stuart Little three times.

Matt Damon was Jason Bourne three times and was in Ocean’s Eleven, Twelve, and Thirteen.

Eddie Murphy was Donkey in four Shrek movies and Axel Foley three times as a Beverly Hills Cop. Mike Myers was Shrek in the Shrek flicks and Austin Powers and Dr. Evil in the Austin Powers movies.

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Orlando Bloom was Legolas in the Lord of the Rings trilogy, and he’s reprising his role in The Hobbit movie. He was also in the first three Pirates of the Caribbean movies too.

Sir Ian McKellen has saved the world as Gandalf in three Lord of the Rings movies and will do so again in The Hobbit trilogy. He’s also threatened the world three times as Magneto in the X-Men franchise.

Patrick Stewart played Captain Jean-Luc Picard four times on the big screen and played Charles Xavier in three X-Men movies with a cameo in the Wolverine movie.

Crazy anti-Semite Mel Gibson has been in four Lethal Weapon Movies and was Mad Max three times. You know he hates Jews right?

Warwick Davis was in six Leprechaun movies (about half were direct-to-video) and was also in all eight Harry Potter Movies playing duel roles as Professor Flitwick and Griphook.

Sylvester Stallone was Rambo four times and Rocky Balboa six times. I have a feeling he might be Expendable three times too.

Vin Diesel sucks a lot of balls, but he’s been in four Fast and/or Furious movies (one of them was just a cameo), and he will play Riddick again in 2013. I’m sure that there are at least four people who will pay to see that shit.

Ben Stiller has played Gaylord Focker in three movies and loaned his voice to three Madagascar movies.

Gary Oldman played Sirius Black in Harry Potter 3, 4, 5 and 7.5 and has been James Gordon three times in Christopher Nolan’s Batman trilogy.

Bruce Campbell has played Ash in the Evil Dead movies and had cameos in all of Sam Raimi’s Spider-man movies. That might be a stretch, but it still counts.

Antonio Banderas has been Puss in Boots in three Shrek movies and one spinoff and was in four Spy Kids movies (his scene was cut in the fourth one. Yes, there are four Spy Kids movies). He was played El Mariachi in two out of the three El Mariachi movies, so he doesn’t get any points for that.

John Cho has hung out with Kumar three times as Harold, and he was in American Pie, American Pie 2, American Wedding, and American Reunion. Cameos count. Right, Bruce Campbell?

Samuel L. Jackson was Mace Windu in Star Wars Episode I-III. He also played Nick Fury in Iron Man, Iron Man 2, Thor, Captain America, and The Avengers, which are all part of the same universe, so he gets included.

Jackie Chan has three franchises under his belt. Three Rush Hour movies, four Police Story movies, and he’s loaned his voice to two Kung Fu Panda movies with a third coming out in 2013.

Christopher Lee played Fu Manchu three times, he was Dracula in a bunch of movies. He was Count Dooku in Episodes II and III and the animated Clone Wars movie. He was in Lord of the Rings too.

Hugo Weaving has also been in three franchises. He threatened Neo three times as Agent Smith in the Matrix trilogy. He loaned his voice to Megatron in the Transfomers movies. And he was Elrond in the Lord of the Rings movie and will reprise his role again in one of the upcoming Hobbit movies.

So that’s my list. I think it’s pretty complete. If you see anyone that I’m missing leave a comment. And I’ll either correct you or add it to my list. I don’t know how to rate this so I will just settle for something like this:

Critically Rated at 12/17

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X-Men (film)

Bryan Singer (The Usual Suspects) directs the big screen adaptation of the X-Men. In the not too distant future, mutants with superpowers have been popping up more and more. People fear what they don’t understand, and people fear mutants, causing US Senator Robert Kelly to attempt to pass the Mutant Registration Act. Magneto’s Brotherhood of Mutants decides to wage war on mankind, and nothing can stop him… Except for Charles Xavier’s X-Men.

The movie begins with a young Eric Lehnsherr being separated from his parents in a concentration camp. He tries to get back to his parents, but the guards won’t let him. Desperately he reaches for them, and the gates start to bend and twist towards him, until the guards knock him out. This is a real quick scene and it’s a great introduction to the world of the X-Men. Right off the bat, you know that this world is both real and familiar, but also fantastic and different. You’re introduced to a mutant using his powers right away, and it also establishes Eric Lehnsherr a.k.a. Magneto as a sympathetic villain. No matter how diabolical he gets, you understand his reasons perfectly.

Senator Robert Kelly (Bruce Davison) is advocating the Mutant Registration Act, which would force mutants to identify themselves. Magneto (Ian McKellen) doesn’t want to go along with this, and he’s going to do something about it. His Brotherhood of Mutants wage war on humanity. The Brotherhood consists of the shape shifter Mystique (Rebecca Romijn-Stamos), Toad (Ray Park), and Sabretooth (Tyler Mane).

Magneto’s old friend Charles Xavier (Patrick Stewart) leads the X-Men, another team of mutants who are determined to stop the Brotherhood. The X-Men members are the telepathic/telekinetic Jean Grey (Famke Janssen), the cycloptic Cyclops (James Marsden), and the weather-controlling Storm (Halle Berry).

Meanwhile, a young mutant named Marie a.k.a. Rogue (Anna Paquin) accidently almost kills her boyfriend just by touching him and runs away. She meets a hairy, angry cage fighter named Wolverine and decides to get in the car with him. Wolverine (Hugh Jackman) and Rogue get attacked by Sabretooth and get rescued by Cyclops and Storm and they take them to the X Mansion. They chill there for a while, and they learn about how good Xavier is, and how misguided Magneto is. There’s bonding moments and character developing and a mutant montage.

Magneto is moving along with his plan, and he kidnaps Senator Kelly and turns him into a mutant. And he reveals his plan to turn a bunch of diplomats and world leaders into mutants at some summit for something. But Senator Kelly escapes and goes to the X-Men for help. He dies from complication of being turned into a mutant, but Magneto doesn’t know that, so he doesn’t know that he would just kill everyone if he goes through with his plan.

The next step in Magneto’s plan is kidnapping Rogue. Magneto will use Rogue to power the mutant conversion machine, the stress of which will kill her. So the X-Men have to step up and save Rogue and stop Magneto from killing diplomats and world leaders at that summit thing. And I don’t want to spoil the ending, but they do.

It has a pretty decent cast. It was Hugh Jackman’s breakout role. Patrick Stewart is perfect for Xavier. Ian McKellen is formidable as Magneto. Rebecca Romijn was a sexy blue chick way before Avatar. Halle Berry looks pretty but her Storm sucked in this one, she didn’t do anything. She had a stupid accent too.

This is a good flick. Not only did it launch the X-Men movie franchise, but it gave Hollywood the green light to start churning out comic book movies. I know they changed a lot of stuff. A lot of stuff. But the movies are their own thing. They acknowledge the comics. They make references to them. There are some differences with characters between the film version and the comic version. But that is ok. Bryan Singer made an awesome movie. It’s fun. It’s rewatchable. It’s a summer blockbuster popcorn movie.

Critically Rated at 15/17

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Marvels

Kurt Busiek’s Marvels is an epic history of key moments in the Marvel Universe. Instead of being shown from the side of metahumans, it is shown from the side of regular people. Marvels is the story of photojournalist Phil Sheldon. He experiences firsthand the awe and fear that superheroes inspire. The Human Torch, Namor, Captain America, the Fantastic Four, Spider-Man, a few X-Men and tons of other Marvel characters make appearances.

The story is pretty interesting, but once again the artwork takes center stage. Alex Ross is an amazing artist. Marvels lets him cut loose and depict iconic figures and important moments in the Marvel Universe is stunning, almost photorealistic paintings. Kingdom Come was all aged DC characters, well past their prime. Marvels depicts most of the important Marvel characters in all their glory. The panels seem to come to life.

If superheroes were real, life would be pretty shitty for normal people. And there are a lot more normal people than superheroes. Therefore, the world would be pretty shitty. People would live in a constant state of fear. They would rely on heroes to save them, because that’s what heroes do. But if they don’t get saved, they blame the heroes. If the heroes save the world, the normal people will forget after awhile. Marvels tries to tackle those issues. Phil Sheldon fears the Marvels, grows to accept them, rely on them, and ultimately defend them.

Marvels is a pretty awesome comic. The four issues cram a lot of important Marvel events and characters into a cohesive and interesting story. The artwork transcends the material, and your jaw drops with each turn of the page. It is simply beautiful art. It helps to humanize the heroes, makes them more down-to-earth and approachable, while at the same time idolizing them and putting them on a pedestal. Go read this now. Or at least Google Image Alex Ross paintings and admire those.

Critically Rated at 13/17

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