Tag Archives: zombie apocalypse

Talking Dead (TV show)

Talking Dead is a talk show for fans who can’t get enough of AMC’s The Walking Dead. It airs right after The Walking Dead, and the two shows go hand in hand. Host Chris Hardwick discusses the latest episode of The Walking Dead with his panel of guests. The guests usually include cast or crew members and celebrity fans of the show. They talk about the crazy cliffhanger endings and all the WTF moments of the show, they show all the zombie kills, and they recap who died. They point out things that you might have missed. They will do a special effects breakdown of a cool scene. There’s usually a sneak peak at the next episode. The Walking Dead is a cult phenomenon and Sunday night becomes an event. You get to watch an hour-long show about the zombie apocalypse and then you get to watch an hour-long talk show about an hour-long show about the zombie apocalypse. There’s something weird about that, but Talking Dead is still worth checking out if you’re a fan of The Walking Dead. It will make your Sunday night feel a little more complete.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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A Slingshot

A sling shot is a small projectile weapon, commonly seen in the back pocket of Bart Simpson’s shorts. They have a Y-shaped frame made out of wood, metal, or plastic with rubber tubes attached to the prongs. You take a rock, BB, or whatever and pull back the rubber, aim at your little sister, and fire. Slingshots are a staple of childhood violence. Anyone can make a crude slingshot out of a stick and a few rubber bands. There’s no excuse for not having a slingshot in your arsenal. Most American guys had a Wrist-Rocket at some point in their childhood. I still have mine and used it as inspiration for this article. I don’t really get the chance to use it anymore, but the zombie apocalypse is coming and it’s folly to get rid of any potential weapons.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Hammers

A hammer is a tool that you use to hammer things. I like things that are called what they do. A hammer is basically two parts: a handle and a hammerhead. The hammerhead usually has a crowbar like claw on one side and the smashing part on the other side. You hold the handle and swing the hammer at the nail and try not to crush your thumb. Hammers are mostly used by construction workers and craftsmen, and no toolbox is complete without one. Hammers are one of the most practical tools, and they can also double as weapons for the impending zombie apocalypse. Aim for the skull and make it count.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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The Zombie Apocalypse

I can’t wait for the Zombie Apocalypse. It is the ultimate Darwin test. When the zombies come you have to have a game plan. I’m pretty sure every guy has a plan thought out. I’m pretty sure my plan is better than yours.

We can all agree that food and weapons are the priority. Maybe making sure your family is ok, but if zombies appear and you aren’t within earshot, I’m just going to assume that you are dead. If we meet again, that’s cool, but protecting my ass takes priority over making sure you’re all right. When the zombies first show up, I’m heading straight for the sporting goods store.

The first thing I would grab guns and ammunition. Shotguns and handguns primarily, but a rifle with a scope is also acceptable. Those are good for practicing zombie headshots. After the guns and ammo you need a crossbow or two and a bunch of extra arrows.

After I grab a few weapons I would head over to the backpacking supplies. Weapons are the initial priority because now you can scare off all the other looters who might get your supplies. I would grab all the backpacking food that they have. They are practically indestructible, they last a long time, they have all the nutrients that you need, they are pretty portable, and they are easy to make, and I can’t cook for shit. While in the backpacking supplies section, make sure you grab water bottles and water filters. You can run from zombies forever but you can’t live 3 days without water. Trail mix and Power Bars are always good too.

Get a tent, a sleeping bag, cookware, a lighter, a flint, matches, fishing gear, a first aid kit, walkie-talkies, a survival kit with a whistle, a glow stick, a hammock, and a Leatherman. Swiss Army Knives will let you down; make sure you get a Leatherman. I know this is the zombie apocalypse and not a camping trip, so you can grab a machete too if it makes you feel better. Make sure you get a shovel. They are a decent weapon, and you’ll need it to bury your companions as they inevitably start dropping off.

In almost every single zombie apocalypse scenario the survivors drive around everywhere. They constantly have to worry about fuel. They always forget about bikes. They are quiet, reliable, and never run out of gas. And you can grab one at the sporting goods store that you’re currently raiding. Make sure it has rugged tires and good shocks. See if they have a bike trailer too so you can haul your gear around.

Now that you have the essential supplies, you can start recruiting people to create a new society. You want a doctor, a chef, a hunter, an architect, carpenter, and a lawyer. Every full moon you kill the lawyer. And then you replace him. Just like real life. If you can find a katana, take it. There is no better time than a zombie apocalypse to rock a katana.

Most people would go to major cities or find a secure building like a prison. I would go to the woods and build a camouflaged tree house city. Zombies can’t climb trees, and most people don’t look up. Imagine Kevin Costner’s Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves and the Ewok village. Now imagine zombies. Now imagine all the shit that I took from the sporting goods store…. Pretty damn secure, right? Out in the woods you are naturally more secluded. You would be able to hunt and maybe even grow and maintain a small farm or garden.

Of course there are a few flaws with my plan, but there are risks with associated with every conceivable scenario. It’s important to have a plan thought out, but you also need to be able to change it at a moment’s notice. You have to be ready for anything and adapt to any new challenge. What would you do? Where would you go first? What do you think is essential? What is your short-term plan? What is your long-term plan? I want to hear your ideas and steal from them.

Critically Rated at 16/17

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