Tag Archives: meal

January 24, 2018 · 5:07 pm

Cooking Shows

Cooking shows are awesome. That’s why there’s a whole network about food. I used to not enjoy them. That was mostly because I was stoned and being tortured by tantalizing food that I couldn’t eat. Now I see cooking shows for what they are: a celebration of culinary creations that bring people together. Food is the great equalizer. Everyone needs to eat. It’s only natural to talk about the things we share. Different cultures have different cuisines and you can’t travel the world without expanding your palette. Cooking is an art and the cooks depicted have honed their craft.

Cooking shows are the televised window to all the things you are missing out on. They make you want to go to Vietnam and eat phò. Or to Mexico for some tacos al pastor. Every host enjoys the food too much and always praises it highly, and that makes me want to try it more for some reason. I want to scrutinize it and put it to the test. Every meal brings them to orgasm. Can it really be that good? Let’s see.

Cooking shows are postcards to what the world has to offer. It’s great to look at but it’s not real until you experience it for yourself. They give you incentive to try new things.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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June 21, 2017 · 2:43 pm

Skipping Breakfast 

I skip breakfast. I usually wake up, take a shit and a shower, get dressed, and go to work. I’ll have a cup of black coffee and a glass of ice water in the breakroom before my shift starts. My first meal is usually lunch, then I’ll snack throughout the day until dinner, and maybe a few more munchies before bedtime. That’s been my routine for a while now. 

The nice thing about skipping breakfast is that I’m conditioned to it and my body doesn’t rely on it. So when I do actually do eat breakfast I feel like Popeye downing a can of spinach. All the naysayers will say that’s proof that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Malarkey, it’s just a boost like a video game power up. 

The weird thing is that I like breakfast foods. Eggs, hash browns, sausage, pancakes, motherfucking bacon… all are delicious, but I’d rather have them for dinner when I’m awake enough to enjoy them. Cereal is more of a snack for me, but I’d rather eat it straight from the box than pour it in a bowl with milk. That makes it soggy and soggy cereal is gross. Don’t get me wrong. Breakfast is good, it’s just too early for me. I need time to build up my appetite.

Critically Rated at 10/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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August 28, 2016 · 6:51 pm

Backpacking Food

Backpacking food is food that you take backpacking. I realize that you can take lots of food backpacking, so this post is focusing primarily on freeze dried food in a sealed bag that you add boiling water to in order to cook it. It’s kind of like a cup of noodles on steroids. There are quite a few different brands to chose from, but it seems like I always end up getting Mountain House or Backpacker’s Pantry. Both offer a wide variety of meals that provide you with a shit ton of caleries to get your energy back after a day on the trail. There are staple dishes like beef stroganoff, bacon and eggs, chicken and rice, etc. but they also have more exotic meals now too. I had beef pho and huevos rancheros on my last backpacking trip. Whatever brand or meal you chose, it’s a great way to reward yourself after lugging a heavy bag on your back for twelve miles. It’s even better with a couple swigs of whiskey.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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March 20, 2016 · 2:52 pm

Tater Tots

A tater tot is like a bite-sized hash brown. It’s diced up potato that is deep-fried and delicious. I would place tater tots in the top ten of American comfort foods because of how versatile they are. They can be a side dish or be featured in the main course. You never had a childhood if you never had a tater tot. Tater tots, or tots if you wanna be cool, are the official food of the Midwest. They have tater tot casseroles, tots are an acceptable pizza topping, and tots have even replaced tortilla chips in nachos (creating a dish called totchos). Every broke ass college kid should have a big bag of tots in the freezer. You can’t eat ramen everyday. You should mix it up with potato products and fries are too cliché. Tater tots can go with every meal. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner are all improved by a simple appearance from the majestic tot. You don’t have to believe me, but you’re missing out if you don’t have tater tots in your life.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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February 18, 2016 · 9:17 pm

Taco Night

Taco night is a night where you make tacos at home. It’s a quick, cheap, and fun meal. And it’s easy to make, so even culinary inept people like me can pull it off without a hitch. When I was growing up, my family did taco night once every two weeks or so. My mom was smart and let the kids be in charge of taco night. We took turns cooking the meat and beans, dicing the lettuce, tomatoes and onions, and grating cheese. It got raised to another level when we learned how to make guacamole. I’m not a good cook by any means, but I gained my basic cooking skills from taco night. It’s come in handy.

I recently started seeing a girl and last Sunday was our first Valentine’s Day together. It was still too early in the relationship to do something extravagant, so I asked my sister for advice. She told me to cook her dinner. It was a great idea but I’m not really good at cooking. I thought about what I knew how to make. The answer came naturally. Tacos. I could make tacos. So Valentine’s Day became taco night. I’m pleased to say that it was successful. They tasted great, she appreciated the gesture, nobody got food poisoning, and we’re still seeing each other. It’s all thanks to taco night. Learn it, love it, do it. Everyone deserves fresh, homemade tacos in their lives. Get in on it.

Critically Rated at 16/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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November 4, 2013 · 8:30 am

Brunch

Brunch is the miraculous mealtime hybrid that combines breakfast and lunch. It’s a late morning/early afternoon meal. It’s meant to be a social affair; you’re supposed to eat it with family and friends. Nobody goes to brunch alone. That’s depressing and weird. Most brunches have a diverse menu, ranging from breakfast foods like eggs and waffles to lunchtime foods like little sammiches, quiche, and cuts of meat. You might also expect to find rolls, cheese, salads, pasta dishes, and an array of fruits. Cantaloupe is required. It’s not brunch without cantaloupe. You can eat brunch any day of the week, but it’s best on Sundays. There’s no better way to get rid of your hangover than by having a big meal with good people and washing it all down with a few Mimosas and a Bloody Mary. It’s hard to top that. Brunch just might be the most enjoyable meal of the day.

Critically Rated at 16/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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October 7, 2013 · 8:22 pm

Hair in Your Food

People eat food and people shed hairs. At some point in your life, those two occurrences will collide and you will find hair in your food. Everyone has hair, and everyone’s hair falls out. You will have to deal with someone else’s hair in your food at some point. You just don’t want to eat it. It doesn’t matter how hygienic they are, or how clean and conditioned their hair is, you don’t want any of their dead cells in your mouth. Hair in your food is gross. But there’s nothing worse than finding a hair in your food when you’re halfway done with your meal. It makes you sick to your stomach. It makes you wonder if you had a bite of food that contained someone else’s follicles. Just don’t take it out on your server. It’s not his fault. Blame the shedding cook. And hopefully it’s not curly.

Critically Rated at 4/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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