Tag Archives: cooking

Cooking Shows

Cooking shows are awesome. That’s why there’s a whole network about food. I used to not enjoy them. That was mostly because I was stoned and being tortured by tantalizing food that I couldn’t eat. Now I see cooking shows for what they are: a celebration of culinary creations that bring people together. Food is the great equalizer. Everyone needs to eat. It’s only natural to talk about the things we share. Different cultures have different cuisines and you can’t travel the world without expanding your palette. Cooking is an art and the cooks depicted have honed their craft.

Cooking shows are the televised window to all the things you are missing out on. They make you want to go to Vietnam and eat phò. Or to Mexico for some tacos al pastor. Every host enjoys the food too much and always praises it highly, and that makes me want to try it more for some reason. I want to scrutinize it and put it to the test. Every meal brings them to orgasm. Can it really be that good? Let’s see.

Cooking shows are postcards to what the world has to offer. It’s great to look at but it’s not real until you experience it for yourself. They give you incentive to try new things.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filed under Snacks

Taco Night

Taco night is a night where you make tacos at home. It’s a quick, cheap, and fun meal. And it’s easy to make, so even culinary inept people like me can pull it off without a hitch. When I was growing up, my family did taco night once every two weeks or so. My mom was smart and let the kids be in charge of taco night. We took turns cooking the meat and beans, dicing the lettuce, tomatoes and onions, and grating cheese. It got raised to another level when we learned how to make guacamole. I’m not a good cook by any means, but I gained my basic cooking skills from taco night. It’s come in handy.

I recently started seeing a girl and last Sunday was our first Valentine’s Day together. It was still too early in the relationship to do something extravagant, so I asked my sister for advice. She told me to cook her dinner. It was a great idea but I’m not really good at cooking. I thought about what I knew how to make. The answer came naturally. Tacos. I could make tacos. So Valentine’s Day became taco night. I’m pleased to say that it was successful. They tasted great, she appreciated the gesture, nobody got food poisoning, and we’re still seeing each other. It’s all thanks to taco night. Learn it, love it, do it. Everyone deserves fresh, homemade tacos in their lives. Get in on it.

Critically Rated at 16/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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The Vanishing Art of Home Cooking

The holidays are coming up, a time where fat Americans get even fatter from all the feasts. That’s when moms and grandmas bust out their greatest family recipes that have been handed down for generations. Your great-grandma learned how to cook from her mom and she passed it on to your grandma. Your grandma passed it onto your mom. And your mom passed it on to nobody, because nobody in our generation knows how to cook anymore. That’s a bit of an overstatement: I know a lot of good cooks my age, I’m only being dramatic to emphasize my point, and my point is that home cooking is becoming a lost art. Most American men under the age of thirty-five only know how to grill. If it doesn’t involve fire, they aren’t interested. Most American women under the age of thirty-five can cook a few dishes, but they don’t have the same culinary prowess as their mothers or grandmothers. That’s not sexist, that’s a fact. My friend Jayde told me that, and she’s a girl, so I know it’s not sexist. Just ask Jayde. She’ll tell you. She’s the one who told me to write about this, so I know she has my back. Enjoy Thanksgiving while you can because it might go extinct.

Critically Rated at 6/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Edibles

Why smoke weed when you can eat it? Edibles are culinary cannabis creations that get you high. You can buy premade treats from a dispensary or find appetizing recipes online. You can make almost anything magical: cookies, brownies, rice crispy treats, pasta, dressing, butter, chocolate, etc. You can even improve bacon. Edibles have endless opportunities but smoking weed is more fun. I like rolling it or packing a bowl, I like sparking the lighter, I like taking a hit and holding it in… I like the whole ritual of it all. But edibles are delicious and discrete. You can eat them in plain sight, you can take them on planes, into movies and concerts and get your stoned on without bothering anyone with smoke. They’re called magic brownies for a reason: not only is the brownie delicious but it also gets you stoned. How magical is that?

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Oven Mitts

Sometimes you need to take hot things out of the oven. You should use oven mitts for that. Some people call them oven gloves, even though they are more like mittens than gloves.  They should be called oven mittens because they look like giant mittens that you use for taking hot things out of the oven. No matter what you call them, there’s no denying their practicality. And they can be quite fashionable. Just look at all the stock photos of moms cooking with aprons and oven mitts in the backyard. Oven mitts are a vital yet underrated feature of a stocked kitchen.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filed under Random Rants