Tag Archives: follicles

Hair in Your Food

People eat food and people shed hairs. At some point in your life, those two occurrences will collide and you will find hair in your food. Everyone has hair, and everyone’s hair falls out. You will have to deal with someone else’s hair in your food at some point. You just don’t want to eat it. It doesn’t matter how hygienic they are, or how clean and conditioned their hair is, you don’t want any of their dead cells in your mouth. Hair in your food is gross. But there’s nothing worse than finding a hair in your food when you’re halfway done with your meal. It makes you sick to your stomach. It makes you wonder if you had a bite of food that contained someone else’s follicles. Just don’t take it out on your server. It’s not his fault. Blame the shedding cook. And hopefully it’s not curly.

Critically Rated at 4/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Being Itchy After a Haircut

You just got a haircut and you’re looking good but feeling itchy. Somehow some rouge hairs got up under your shirt and onto your shoulders and that shit is starting to chafe. As you’re slowly being stabbed by your own sheared follicles, you’ll wonder how effective your conditioner is because it’s obviously not making your hair soft and silky. That shit hurts. Being itchy after a haircut is one of the drawbacks of personal grooming, but society requires us to look presentable.

Critically Rated at 5/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filed under Random Rants