Tag Archives: lazy

Buying New Clothes Instead of Doing Laundry 

 I was facing a rather serious dilemma couple of days ago. I was running out of clean underwear and didn’t have time to get any laundry done. I don’t have a washer and dryer in my apartment, so I can’t just throw in a load at night and get it in the morning. I have to go to the laundromat and I didn’t have two consecutive hours to spend waiting for my clothes to go through. So I stopped by the mall after work and bought some boxers, enough to last me for a week until my next day off to do laundry. That was my first time doing that. It was a weird experience. Buying new clothes instead of doing laundry made me feel lazy and wasteful, but also like a rock star. Fuck washing those soiled drawers, I’m just gonna put on a fresh new pair. That’s the American way. I’m still going to do laundry every couple of weeks, but buying new clothes is always a decent backup plan. I should spice up my wardrobe anyway. 

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young 

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Rainy Saturdays

I woke up last Saturday to the gentle pitter-patter of rain falling outside my window. And I was glad that it was raining. When you were a kid, rainy Saturdays were terrible. All you had was two days of freedom each weekend, and being stuck inside was pure torture. It meant that you couldn’t run around and climb trees and play sports with the neighborhood kids. You had to stay inside and play crummy board games or do puzzles that were always missing a piece with your sister. But now you’re an adult and rainy Saturdays means catching up on Breaking Bad or having a marathon Netflix session. Rainy Saturdays are a perfectly valid excuse to procrastinate and avoid doing laundry, paying bills, or running errands. You’re supposed to be lazy on a rainy Saturday. It’s your God-given right. So take advantage of that and don’t do anything productive.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Burned Out

It’s the end of the day and I don’t have anything to say. I have nothing clever to say, no clever quips, nothing worth writing about. I am burned out. I spent the last few hours getting drunk and playing volleyball and I’m completely drained. Life is hard. I know I shouldn’t complain, but I have nothing else to write about, so I will just bitch about how I’m too tired to write about anything. My only focus is not making any spelling mistakes or grammatical errors. So far, so goo. Damn, I almost had it.

Critically Rated at 5/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Lazy Day

A lazy day is even better than a day off. You typically have a few errands and chores to do on your days off. But sometimes you have a day off where you don’t have to do anything, when you can procrastinate and be lazy the whole day. You’ll start by sleeping in a few extra hours. Then you’ll lie in bed reading or surfing the net for a few hours before you get up. You might pour yourself some cereal or stick a Hot Pocket in the microwave because you’re hungry but you’re not going to cook. You don’t take a shower because you’re not planning on impressing anybody. You don’t put on shoes because you’re not even going outside to check the mail. It’s a lazy day and nothing is going to get accomplished by design. It’s a good time to catch up on your TV shows, play a videogame, or watch that movie that you keep putting off. Fighting boredom while sitting on your ass is the epitome of a lazy day and the American way.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Calling or Texting Instead of Ringing the Doorbell

It seems like everyone has a cellphone these days, and the lucky ones have smartphones. Everyone is constantly connected to each other with this magical technology. And technology makes you lazy in stupid ways. I’ve noticed that most people end up calling or texting instead of ringing the doorbell. A doorbell has one button that produces a buzzing or chiming noise to notify that someone is at the door. Instead of pushing one button, we now push a few buttons or type out a text saying we are outside. It takes longer to get a response, there’s more work involved, and there’s no real reason to do it. But that’s how it is now. So just embrace it and text me when you get here.

Critically Rated at 10/17

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