Tag Archives: dad

Dad Jokes

A dad joke is a joke that your dad would tell you. They are the corniest jokes of all time. You might say, “My nose is running,” and your dad will respond with “Well, then you better go catch it!” You might say, “I’m hungry,” and he will respond with “Hi Hungry, I’m Dad!” They aren’t funny and they make you groan, but you learn to appreciate them. You might even start to use them and quote him. That’s how you know that you’re getting older. Dad jokes will never impress anyone much. You could never have a standup comedy career using them. But you can never be a dad unless you tell them. It’s required.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filed under Entertainment

My Nephew

On March 3, 2014 my big sister and my brother-in-law had a baby (well, she had the baby, he just watched as she screamed and cursed his name). This baby was a milestone. It was the baby that turned my sister into a mom, her husband into a dad, my parents into grandparents, me into an uncle, and my other sisters into aunts. I don’t know if our pets get a title change, but I do know our family is already more complete. I haven’t gotten to meet baby James yet, but I’ve already seen a bunch of pictures and I can honestly say that I’ve seen uglier babies. He’s not that wrinkly, he’s got a good amount of hair on his head, and he wasn’t that slimy. They didn’t do half bad. Welcome to the World, James Young Galster. Sorry about the global warming, we’re trying to fix that.

Critically Rated at 17/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filed under Random Rants

Father’s Day (day, not the shitty movie)

Today is Father’s Day, a day in which you honor your father by giving him a necktie that he will never wear. Most families have their own Father’s Day traditions, like eating at a moderately priced restaurant, going to the movies, fishing or hunting, or simply going for a drive. It’s just a day to let your pops know that you’re glad he put his penis in your mom and ejaculated all those years ago. You can also thank him for raising you, supporting you financially, and for putting up with all the bullshit things you did growing up. Father’s Day can also be a sore subject for some people. Some people can’t celebrate it, some people don’t want to. But if you have a chance (or even the slightest inkling), you should call your dad and have a chat.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filed under Random Rants