Tag Archives: house

I Have Two Places in San Francisco

I moved into my girlfriend’s place a few weeks ago. It’s a big step in our relationship and our lives. Congratulations to us. It was not as smooth of a transition as it could have been because I still had to pay the last month’s rent for my old spot. It was a waste of eleven hundred bucks, but I technically have two residences in San Francisco right now. That’s twice as many as the average person. I believe that makes me a baller. I can either sleep downtown or retreat to my quieter house in the Presidio. I have options. I only have another week of dual residency and you can bet that I’ll be gloating as much as I can while I can. How many places do you have in San Francisco? Oh, I have two. Two places in San Francisco in 2018. That’s just how I roll. It’s more convenient than having one.

Critically Rated at 16/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Your Neighborhood

I lived in the same house in San Francisco for over seven years. I knew everything about the neighborhood. I knew my neighbors, I knew the cashiers at the corner store. I knew the cashiers at the liquor store. I knew the bartenders at the dive bars. I knew which bus lines to take. I knew where to find parking. I had it made. Then I had to move into a new neighborhood in a different district. I had to start all over and I didn’t want to. The new neighborhood didn’t feel right. It wasn’t mine.

Luckily I got a chance to move back to my original neighborhood, about a block away from my first house. I’ve only been moved in for a couple of nights now, but it feels so good to be home. I’m back in my old stomping grounds and there’s nowhere else I’d rather be. My first day back I went to the liquor store for a celebratory beer. The cashier remembered me and greeted me with a warm welcome. He shook my hand, asked where I’ve been, where I am now, and why I had to move. People noticed that I was gone and they were glad that I came back. It’s a great feeling to be remembered. I missed my neighborhood and my neighborhood missed me. It made me realize that you’re not just a part of your neighborhood, your neighborhood is a part of you too. Make sure you appreciate it.

Critically Rated at 16/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Don’t Know What You Got Till It’s Gone

I’ve been living comfortably in the same apartment in San Francisco for more than six years. I have my own room, I live right by Golden Gate Park, I have access to public transportation, and there are a lot of cool bars and restaurants by my pad. It’s my house, it’s my home. And now I’m faced with an eviction notice over some bullshit technicality and I only have a few days to move out. I’m not stressed about finding a place to stay. I’m just bummed that I might have to leave this spot. They say you don’t know what you got till it’s gone. I never knew how true those words were until today. I might have to leave my home. This place is a part of me. I’m not ready to say goodbye to it yet. And I hope I don’t have to. We’ll fight it. But it looks like I’ll be couch surfing for a little bit. Oh well.

Critically Rated at 5/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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A Mouse in the House

So I’ve been living in the same apartment in San Francisco for over six years now, and tonight I witnessed the first mouse in the house. Well, technically he wasn’t in the house, he was at the top of the stairs outside my front door. I just came home from a long, killer shift at work and was just looking forward to cracking open a beer and smoking a bowl. And then I was greeted by a rodent. That’s not a great welcome. I suppose I should consider myself lucky that it wasn’t actually inside the apartment, but I can’t help but feel that he was scoping out the place for his verminous friends. I already have two roommates, so I don’t need any furry pests encroaching on my living space, raiding the cabinets, and eating my food. A mouse in the house is a terrible thing. They say that if you see a mouse, then you have mice. I hope that’s not the case.

Critically Rated at 4/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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House Party

Parties are fun, but it’s hard to top a good house party. House parties are awesome because there is no guest list, there is no dress code, there is no last call, and there is no closing time. You don’t have to get your wrist stamped or worry about reentry if you go out for a smoke break. You get to control the music so you don’t have to suffer through a crappy DJ’s shitty set. The only downside is that you have to bring your own booze, but that still saves you money. A hundred bucks will get a lot more alcohol from the liquor store than it will get you at the bar. People have fun at bars and clubs, but they go nuts at house parties. It’s all friends and no strangers, so you feel more comfortable, relaxed, and less afraid of embarrassing yourself, and that means you’ll be drinking harder and longer than you would if there was a bouncer watching you. There are always a couple fun drinking games going on, a few random hookups to laugh about, and hundreds of random conversations about nothing to jump in to. The night goes on and on, and people start passing out and sleeping wherever they find a quiet corner to disappear in. Eventually the sun starts to rise, the party ends, and you get a smile on your face whenever you remember that night.

Critically Rated at 16/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Getting Locked Out

Getting locked out sucks. I’m letting a friend crash on my couch because I’m a swell guy like that. I gave him my only set of keys the other night because I had to work a night shift and he was going to hang out with some friends. He said he would be home before me. I didn’t think so, but I gave it to him anyway and told him I would call him when I was done with work. Work was slow so I got cut early, sent him a text saying I was done, and jumped on my train and started heading home. I got off at my stop, called him, and he said that he was ten minutes away. Perfect, just enough time to go to the liquor store and grab some beer, snacks, and ice cream. I got my supplies and went to my house and started waiting. And waiting. And waiting. My roommates weren’t there and my friend wasn’t answering his phone. I was locked out and there was no way to get in without a key. At first I was annoyed that he was late. Then I was kind of worried that something might have happened to him. Then I noticed that my ice cream was starting to melt and I got pissed. It took all my restraint from choking his light out when he finally sauntered up to the door after an hour, mumbling his apology. Sorries don’t turn back the clock. Sorries don’t unlock doors. Sorries don’t unmelt ice cream.

Critically Rated at 5/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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House M.D.

Rather than write a review I will just write the average episode outline.

We begin outside the hospital. This week’s guest star is doing something really cool or really mundane. And then they start spitting blood, or maybe they faint, or possibly start speaking in gibberish while shitting themselves. And then we go to the opening credits.

Now we are in the hospital and House is insulting his team and berating them for no particular reason. Then someone brings up a case and House doesn’t care, then they mention a weird symptom, and then he does care.

Meanwhile someone on House’s team, or maybe Wilson does something to annoy House. Maybe they have a prank war, or a bet going, or have a personal issue that House needs to exploit. This is this week’s subplot.

The patient is getting better. Then they get a new symptom. Maybe their vision goes blurry, but usually they start pissing blood. Sometimes they get blisters or a rash. All it means is that they were wrong the first time and now we need to start antibiotics or steroids. They are getting better and it looks like things will be wrapped up earlier than usual.

Meanwhile in the subplot, something funny or zany happens, or maybe someone is super pissed off or two team members start bonding. We have to make these characters likeable, watchable, and relatable, because most doctors are lame but this is FOX and they can’t be mundane.

The patient was responding to treatment, but now another symptom pops up. What hasn’t happened yet? Um, they lose hair or their toes are turning black. If the team hasn’t suggested Lupus yet, they will suggest it now. Either way, they start another treatment, maybe a total blood transfusion or leeches.

We go back to the subplot, and it is getting resolved somehow. Maybe House is telling Wilson something about how Wilson can’t win the prank war because he is “too lame.” And saying “too lame” will make House realize that something about the patient’s heart is “too lame,” and now he knows what is wrong and how to treat the patient. The patient is saved in the knick of time, wakes up and spouts some profound words of wisdom, maybe has a little moment with House, and that’s the show folks.

Imagine 8 seasons of that, with occasional episodes that stray against the formula and you have a cool medical show. Hugh Laurie is amazing as House. He is a great character, basically a medical Sherlock Holmes with an attitude. He is a dick, but he’s a genius so he gets away with shit. It’s a pretty solid show, and 8 seasons is an accomplishment. Check it out if you haven’t.

Critically Rated at 13/17

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