Tag Archives: apartment

Don’t Know What You Got Till It’s Gone

I’ve been living comfortably in the same apartment in San Francisco for more than six years. I have my own room, I live right by Golden Gate Park, I have access to public transportation, and there are a lot of cool bars and restaurants by my pad. It’s my house, it’s my home. And now I’m faced with an eviction notice over some bullshit technicality and I only have a few days to move out. I’m not stressed about finding a place to stay. I’m just bummed that I might have to leave this spot. They say you don’t know what you got till it’s gone. I never knew how true those words were until today. I might have to leave my home. This place is a part of me. I’m not ready to say goodbye to it yet. And I hope I don’t have to. We’ll fight it. But it looks like I’ll be couch surfing for a little bit. Oh well.

Critically Rated at 5/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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A Mouse in the House

So I’ve been living in the same apartment in San Francisco for over six years now, and tonight I witnessed the first mouse in the house. Well, technically he wasn’t in the house, he was at the top of the stairs outside my front door. I just came home from a long, killer shift at work and was just looking forward to cracking open a beer and smoking a bowl. And then I was greeted by a rodent. That’s not a great welcome. I suppose I should consider myself lucky that it wasn’t actually inside the apartment, but I can’t help but feel that he was scoping out the place for his verminous friends. I already have two roommates, so I don’t need any furry pests encroaching on my living space, raiding the cabinets, and eating my food. A mouse in the house is a terrible thing. They say that if you see a mouse, then you have mice. I hope that’s not the case.

Critically Rated at 4/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Getting Locked Out

Getting locked out sucks. I’m letting a friend crash on my couch because I’m a swell guy like that. I gave him my only set of keys the other night because I had to work a night shift and he was going to hang out with some friends. He said he would be home before me. I didn’t think so, but I gave it to him anyway and told him I would call him when I was done with work. Work was slow so I got cut early, sent him a text saying I was done, and jumped on my train and started heading home. I got off at my stop, called him, and he said that he was ten minutes away. Perfect, just enough time to go to the liquor store and grab some beer, snacks, and ice cream. I got my supplies and went to my house and started waiting. And waiting. And waiting. My roommates weren’t there and my friend wasn’t answering his phone. I was locked out and there was no way to get in without a key. At first I was annoyed that he was late. Then I was kind of worried that something might have happened to him. Then I noticed that my ice cream was starting to melt and I got pissed. It took all my restraint from choking his light out when he finally sauntered up to the door after an hour, mumbling his apology. Sorries don’t turn back the clock. Sorries don’t unlock doors. Sorries don’t unmelt ice cream.

Critically Rated at 5/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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New Toilet

I came home from work yesterday and noticed that something was different in my apartment. All the lights were off and my roommate’s door was wide open but there was no sign of him. And there was a new toilet in the bathroom and the old one was missing. I’m guessing that my landlord came in while my roommates and I were all out of the house and randomly changed the toilet that we’ve been bitching about for over a year. The old toilet had a cracked lid and the tank was constantly running. I thought that they were supposed to give us notice 24 hours in advance before entering our apartment, but I’m not going to complain about a toilet upgrade. Now I’m shitting in style, perched up on a shiny new throne. I’m going to be busy eating tons of Taco Bell and fiber the next few days… I gotta break this bad boy in.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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