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House M.D.

Rather than write a review I will just write the average episode outline.

We begin outside the hospital. This week’s guest star is doing something really cool or really mundane. And then they start spitting blood, or maybe they faint, or possibly start speaking in gibberish while shitting themselves. And then we go to the opening credits.

Now we are in the hospital and House is insulting his team and berating them for no particular reason. Then someone brings up a case and House doesn’t care, then they mention a weird symptom, and then he does care.

Meanwhile someone on House’s team, or maybe Wilson does something to annoy House. Maybe they have a prank war, or a bet going, or have a personal issue that House needs to exploit. This is this week’s subplot.

The patient is getting better. Then they get a new symptom. Maybe their vision goes blurry, but usually they start pissing blood. Sometimes they get blisters or a rash. All it means is that they were wrong the first time and now we need to start antibiotics or steroids. They are getting better and it looks like things will be wrapped up earlier than usual.

Meanwhile in the subplot, something funny or zany happens, or maybe someone is super pissed off or two team members start bonding. We have to make these characters likeable, watchable, and relatable, because most doctors are lame but this is FOX and they can’t be mundane.

The patient was responding to treatment, but now another symptom pops up. What hasn’t happened yet? Um, they lose hair or their toes are turning black. If the team hasn’t suggested Lupus yet, they will suggest it now. Either way, they start another treatment, maybe a total blood transfusion or leeches.

We go back to the subplot, and it is getting resolved somehow. Maybe House is telling Wilson something about how Wilson can’t win the prank war because he is “too lame.” And saying “too lame” will make House realize that something about the patient’s heart is “too lame,” and now he knows what is wrong and how to treat the patient. The patient is saved in the knick of time, wakes up and spouts some profound words of wisdom, maybe has a little moment with House, and that’s the show folks.

Imagine 8 seasons of that, with occasional episodes that stray against the formula and you have a cool medical show. Hugh Laurie is amazing as House. He is a great character, basically a medical Sherlock Holmes with an attitude. He is a dick, but he’s a genius so he gets away with shit. It’s a pretty solid show, and 8 seasons is an accomplishment. Check it out if you haven’t.

Critically Rated at 13/17

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